So I was just talking to my mom as she was getting ready for church (thank my Pagan gods she's not making me go with her today). I mentioned that the first time I tried coffee was last year at school when my nevermo friend offered me some. When I said this, my mom looked so disappointed and replied, "It's a good thing he didn't have any heroin for you to try, too."

So now having a sip of coffee is the same as shooting up with heroin?? Mormons have such skewed ideas...

Only people who have NO clue about drugs would compare coffee to heroin.

I don't know anyone who sharpens old syringes to inject coffee into their veins. I've never heard of someone selling their body for a fix. I doubt anyone has ripped off their relatives for coffee money.

Fucking idiots.

Well I realize this true for some people..... headaches etc.

well, pls don't try anything else, you might have a very hard time with other substances. That is kinda a red flag for me :)

dunno

My coffee maker wasn't working this morning. I suddenly realized I'm just like a heroin addict. Praise the Lord it eventually started working or I might have killed someone.

I had a member tell me that because a lot of people smoke their morning cigarette with their coffee, coffee was the gateway drug to smoking which was of course the gateway to everything else.

"YES OH GOD YES!!! And I quit the church just so I could live the life of a COFFEE ADDICT!!!"

Don't forget to ::rolls eyes:: when you say that...

Darn, I missed out on an addiction????

just thought about a friend, who did coffee enemas. Although I researched it, it still did not "call to me"

lol

On this subject, A long time ago poster once wrote:

<sing> "...oh, there's nothing like waking up with Folders up your butt."

I cannot take credit for anothers work. His old post makes me laugh even today.

I had almost the same thing happen.

My mother came to the house, saw the coffee pot, turned to me and said, "Do you USE coffee? She said the word 'use' exactly the same as if she had said 'USE drugs'.

I was speechless. After that I made sure to leave the alcohol out on the counter for the next time.

I did the same! Then I started inviting them to my dinner parties where I served the wine, and drank it!

I told them they shouldn't have pushed me so hard on the coffee issue and maybe I wouldn't have upped the ante...

Haha, when my mom found out I drank coffee she said the same thing: "When did you start using coffee?"

Hilarious.

Yep, it's true.

I just turned some tricks so I could buy some good beans for my next hit.

When I was young there were tennis courts across the road from the hunch building. My Sunday school teacher would make comments about those people worshipping tennis while we would be t church. The more creepy part was the psychotic tone in his voice when he would say that. Your heroine comment reminded me of the insanity it is to make those ridiculously judgemental comments about benign behavior.

Who knew that heroin was that good?

Oh yeah. It is.

The other day I snatched some old lady's purse and there was enough money to get a triple venti latte with and extra shot.

What a high.

See, that's what I'm talking about! Good stuff.

I get it in the form of espresso. Is that just as bad or worse? I make coconut lattes. I always figured it was pretty harmless.

I worked at a tele-survey place in Provo 8 years ago. There was plenty of zoobies working there and was subjected to their frequent naive and ridiculous conversations and opinions.

One day, an RM tried to impress the pretty blond zoobs next to me by proclaiming, "Coffee is SO bad for you! I think it should be outlawed!" What a douchebag.

They often seem to get their caffiene fix by some other delivery system, though. Diet Coke or perhaps a little of 5-hour Energy Shots. "It's ok, it's umm... like medicine, 'cause I dint get much sleep, so....."

A teenage relative took up drinking coffee. Her mom made her keep the coffeepot in her room, because she didn't want to "enable" her. This same teen had previously been using meth.

Who Needs Coffee?

Heroin + Aliens + New Wave = Liquid Sky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZKGotAeZk0

Can you mix chocolate and whip cream with it?

OMG, I had four heapers of clasico this morning, and I just feel---normal. :(

I can't get high anymore!

Gotta get some harder stuff!


lololol oklie lol...

My ex wife saw the fact that I hid an occasional beer from her to be the same as cheating on her.

I wish her new husband luck.

My father-in-law is a recovering heroin addict amoung other things...
The comparison makes me really ill.
Last time I checked coffee couldn't give me HIV or hep!

-S

I've had three cups of heroin myself today. I drank coffee before I became a Mormon. I used to drink it with my grandpa as a kid. It is one of my cherished memories of him, and it was a pleasure to drink it again after I left.

Well, they are both a dark brown.

Mormonism (and other fundy religions) put all sins into a blender & pours them out on the heads of their adherants.

they point to the bible: "God cannot look upon sins with the least degree of allowance; Be ye therefore Perfect", etc.

It's like making J walking equal with DWI / DUI



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2012 11:48PM by guynoirprivateeye.

Coffee - which I drink every day - is much nicer than heroin (which I tried once a long long time ago).

Coffee doesn't make you puke (among other major advantages ;-)