This is an email that we received recently from my FIL. He does not know we feel the way we do about TSCC, but I think they have their suspicions about our feelings and activity level (non-existent). It was sent to all of their children (4). They recently went on a trip to "the holy land" through one of those church tours. Apparently this stems from that...
I am astounded at his audacity. He seems to fancy himself this great patriarch of the family, passing down these gems of wisdom. I did not grown up in the Church and my jaw pretty much dropped when I read this. Am I crazy to think this is way too over the top and he is way too full of himself? Is this normal LDS fatherly behavior? What do you think?

Here's the email:
"I now have in my possession the final copies of my Israel book, which I am very proud of. I had initially planned to give it to all of you for Christmas, but I don't feel like I want to wait until then. Here's what I would like all of you to do. I would like you to spend time just as husband and wife reading through all 32 lessons to mainly concentrate on how you might use the book. My hope would be to use it as a FHE tool when appropriate. Hopefully as time goes by to share specific lessons with my grand children. I know there are things in there for all of you right now, and certainly more and more as time goes by.

Please do me a favor and DON'T delay reading it. The sooner the better! The reason I'm suggesting this is because it becomes too easy not look at it again until you discover it under the couch or on a shelf years from now! I need you to at least humor me a bit by telling me you actually read it before Christmas.

It will be coming in the regular mail sometime very soon."

Clarification: this "Israel book" is something he put together



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2012 06:03PM by dogeatdog.

What exactly is the "Israel Book"? The book of mormon?

Because there is no other appropriate response. OMG. He's written a lesson manual for you all? How lucky can you get!

Methinks the FIL needs his ego deflated.

This is something your FIL wrote? Like a journal of his trip to "the holy land" that he fancies is instructional for others?

My jaw dropped, too, reading his email. What a narcissist!

IMNSHO, you & your spouse are under NO obligation to humour this nut! And he even gave you a deadline????

What a jerk.

Just my tuppence.

It sounds like something he wrote himself. I would skim it when it arrives and see if you can pull out one or two good thoughts contained herein. Then email him back and share those thoughts that were meaningful to you. Perhaps attach a pic of one or more of your kids looking at it.

Then put it on the shelf. ;-)

Basically you would be treating it like any other well-meant and loving gift that misses the mark.

Some might be shocked by this behavior, but I can think of a lot of different Mormon dads who this might have came from.

This is very common Mormon behavior.

For one thing, the temple teaches men that they will be gods, or patriarchs, over their families for eternity. My dad reminded me and my wife of this, and really pissed the wife off. When he said it again, I said, "I guess Grandpa gets to be your patriarch for eternity". He really hated my Grandpa and it shut him up for good.

Yes, sorry I didn't clarify...........It's something HE put together from his trip that he seems to think will be very valuable to us all...
Narcisstic - yes, that's a good description!

Mormons have no clue how odd they appear to the outside world.

Most people, when they give someone a gift of a book, do not expect a book report on it.

He gave you a dead line and instructions how, when, and who to read it to! I would laugh my head off if someone sent that to me.
It's worse than watching vacation slides!

Read it if you want, let your kids manhandle it. Do you have a dog? Does he eat books?

LOL, Mia!

I can relate to a wacked out FIL because mine was one of the reasons I have been divorced for many years. He was a 70 (whatever that is), served 2 missions in foreign countries in his retirement and read mormon scriptures every morning and night. He died 6 years ago so I often wonder if he now knows that Joseph's Myth was only fiction.

When it comes, please report back and give us at least a synopsis of the material.

I would skim it enough to make a few neutral comments, thank him for thinking of you and put it in a prominent place when he visits. Whatever he says, I would avoid arguing unless he pushes it. In that case you can say that you have different beliefs without arguing.It may not be something you want, but you can still be gracious.

My mom has written a few parenting/marriage guidelines that she gives all her grown kids to read. They are always rich with gospel nuggets.

And now my dad has been writing a book on marriage. It's funny because after all these years my parents bicker constantly. He's not an abuser or cheater but he's not someone I think should be giving marriage advice.

Anyway, all the advice above is pretty good. Humor him or ignore him, whichever will work best in your particular relationship.

I would send him a link to the Book of Abraham video, and a copy of the BW article, and a bunch of stuff from Steve B. and tell him you need it read, disseminated, and all the issues answered with facts, not feelings, so you can feel better about the church and god in general.

Wouldn't that be a fun way to come out of the closet?

Oh my gawd! You have to post this online! Awesome! My lil sister's mil sends here a very detailed packing list for all trips! We should set her up with your fil and see what happens!

"So we will read your book only after the Brethren have given it their official blessing."