...Even though they have been divorced since 1981. She knows I used to work on family history and since I have left the church, she's taken it up again. She uses it to try to manipulate my emotions and get me back into the church.

I want her to stop. She is "doing work for" my grandfather who died a year ago. Puke.

She has always been controlling and overbearing. This is just another way. Even though I am grown and live several states away, the idea of telling her to stop makes my knees turn to jello.

Am I wrong for wanting her to leave it alone?

Mocking and a little derision in passing are what work best on my TBM mother although nothing works forever. In the longterm TBMs do and think whatever their programming dictates.

No, you're not wrong. I doubt your words will change her mind but a straight-forward "Mom, this is incredibly insulting to my grandfather's memory, hurtful to me and really creepy since you've been divorced for so long" might make her pause for a moment.

Aside from the ordinance bullshit, I think there will come a day when you will be glad she did the research. I know I had that day.

Ron

I guess that's why it bugs me is because she's not doing research, she's taking the research I did a while back and 'saving' everyone. Then she's taking all the credit for it all. I don't care what anyone thinks, this church is all about lookin' good for everyone else.

Supposedly only family members can "do work" for others so she's violating their rules.

Just a thought.

This used to be the morg claim, but no more.

It was a pretense in times past. Now, I don't think any TBM in a leadership position would pretend that this is the case, not when they have missionaries and volunteers extracting names from obits, public records, and news stories or when they're still processing Holocaust names.

There are inhouse rules about waiting periods and getting approval before reinstating dead exmos, but there's no oversight and few members know or follow any of the guidelines.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2010 11:09AM by Cheryl.

If you dont believe that it has any meaning then what ever she does has no real effect on you. Therefore sit back laugh and let her waste her time.

It's normal and very understandable that good people would be offended that their loved ones' wishes and lives are being ritually desecrated by a cult.

Perhaps someone needs to wear a moose suit to the next funeral of someone in your family. Unfortunately, it would bother attendees with normal sensibilities and you might not notice since no one is poking you with a stick or sneaking poison into you funeral potatoes.

It's appalling that some people think that they're superior because something doesn't happen to phase them when it does bother others.

interesting family history that will give you a better idea of who your family is. I'd LOVE to have more info on my family!

Ignore the ordinance stuff. It's imaginary anyhow.

It's for extorting money from members in the form of tithes by ritually demeaning their names and undermining their lives and wishes.

The reply I wrote above is one you might heed. What bothers one person is a boon to another and neither person is bad or wrong as you suggest.

The ordinance stuff bothers me too. My father was athiest his whole life. He never said anything bad about the Mormon church when he was alive. Not one thing. I assume he and my mother agreed he wouldn't say anything at all about it.

After he died, my brother did the ordinances for him. He and my mother both said they felt him there and that they knew he accepted them. That's the part that makes me mad. Telling anyone who will listen that he's a mormon now, when he's not even here to defend himself is incredibly disrespectful to the man and his memory.

I didn't explain that very well, let me try again.

My point was, my father was respectful of my mothers faith and her wishes that us kids not hear his opinions of it for his whole life. Then the guy is dead for a year and they think it's perfectly okay to disrespect his wishes. I'm sure now he's a faith-promoting story in many of my family's sacrament talks, and that is NOT what he would want.

That's what bothers me too. Mormons "do work for the dead," which means they perform rituals which discredit their lives, their wishes, and their names.

Then they claim to "know" that these dead people are grateful to be mormons and that they wish they'd chosen the mormon way while they were still alive.

It's the ultimate arrogance and it's how the church raises funds from members who often can't afford it.