Posted by:
fidget
(
)
Date: July 18, 2012 01:03PM
I mean, I know it's the church and the culture. But is it really so important to replenish the earth at such young age and so fast? For example, we have one friend who went on a mission came back dated a girl for two weeks and was married to her two months later...WTF! There is no way you can know someone well enough, after such little time, to get married.
When my husband and I got married, granted we were young, but we dated for three and half years off and on. Then we were engaged for almost a full year. We both had been through a lot and had to grow up quick. Our maturity was more than our physical age.
My friend on Facebook mentioned that he is going to be moving to Orem in a month. I jokingly said, "eeww Orem.." There was a conversation that ensued that got me thinking. I feel the need to add that this friend likes to joke around about everything, you will hardly catch him being serious. But after knowing him as long as I have, I know his joking is always hiding truths. Here it is...
Friend: Orem isn't that bad. I just don't want to be in the heat, and my best friend is going to school up there. Oh, and I hear girls are really anxious to get married in the Provo area. So I am gonna check that out. Haha
Me: Friend, you really shouldn't be in a hurry to get married. I know that's kind of the culture thing in Utah, date for two months get married in one. But in all honesty, you should take time being with yourself and getting to know yourself better. Travel, do something. The Utah rush to get married usually ends in divorce or unhappiness.
Friend: 2 months? Man I plan on dating for 2 weeks. I am buying a ring when I get up there. Heck with a month engagement. Make it a 2 week engagement so she has something to do. Then flocks of babies before she is old and barren. I must multiply and replenish the earth. This is what I was made for. Well that and to start a revolution with my electric dance moves.
<there is much veiled in this small statement. He has told me before how lonely he is and how he just wants to be married. He is a bigger guy and since people are shallow, he hasn't had a lot of dates where we live.>
Me: I know you are half joking, but Friend it really is terrible to get married to someone you hardly know. I hate how this culture pushes people to get married fast and young. People change a lot as they get older and sometimes become different people. It takes at least a year(I would say longer) to get to know someone.
So that is my Facebook convo that reminded me of the Utah Mormon push to get married. So many young adults feel the push to get married and feel like something is wrong with them if they don't. Truly, it makes me sick. I feel for friends struggling through horrible marriages or friends that are already divorced at 23. I feel for the ones(like my friend above) who feel that they are broken because they are not married yet.
I have nothing else to say, this topic always upsets me. My rant is over.