Lately I've been on here reading and posting. So when I do that, I have dreams. Last night the church split up in between chapel and overflow, and I and my kid (baby then) were in overflow, and we thought we were going to die because we were ex mos'...

turns out that we were the good ones, and the chapel flew into the sky and exploded.

Good times.

Lots more, but it's melting from my mind. I always dream of youth I hung out with too. Of course the ones I dream of are still TBM or insane TBM even though THEY were the naughty ones while in their youth.


Sometimes they are outright nightmares and I have to wake myself up and put my hand to the square "in the name of Jesus Christ, get thee hence" or someting like that. Oh, and my evil child molesting grand father is always there chasing me around the hallways, cause of course they let him off and told us we were lying and he was good man.

Or are they just scary and unsettling?

Do you think it's your way of working through issues?

I would say the dreams are indeed unsettling, if not scary for the most part, at least until I realize that I am still alive.

I thought this stuff was done, since it has been 7 years since I left, and I did the therapy thing about my um, fathers parental figure, so I don't know why this comes and goes.

At times I dream of going to the temple and lying about being legit to be there, and not wearing garmies, and standing up during ceremony and stuff. How I wish I could do that, get in, then leave during the session.

Maybe stuff on RFM triggers old stuff, I dunno. It's annoying, though once in awhile they are not too bad, just me standing up and saying I'm out and proud.

I have dreams like this as well. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a dream that Joseph Smith was alive and he wanted to marry me and my sisters even though we are all already married. I wouldn't have it. I was completely disgusted. My two sisters, which are TBM, were very zombie-like in the dream and submitted to "marrying a prophet of God" even though their husbands were in the other room crying. My mom was so "proud" of my sisters for listening to "a prophet of God". No matter what I said about how sick it all was, they wouldn't listen. It was very creepy, a dream filled with polygamy and polyandry. Thank goodness I wouldn't touch it, even in a nightmare.