Cureloms and cumoms? Really?

Oh, and I think you suck.

you wasted one half of my liFe, DIRTBAG!

Could I stomp out my message like a horse on his jacket tails?

I would say "No, thank you." and shut the door. Then I'd call security and have them thrown out of my gated community for soliciting.

I'd just pound him to a pulp. Actions speak louder than words.

nothing. he's not worth the the two seconds it would take to call him a fvcking jerk.

If you really had the 1st Vision, why couldn't your remember whether it was God, Jesus, both, Moroni or Nephi who appeared to you? Seems like the kind of thing you might remember.After all, God doesn't show up all that often.

That's one I would say also.

It would be as frustrating as talking to any TBM. Pass.

Get him onto a major news show! One 10 min interview on CNN would absolutely destroy the Mormon religion. (or maybe Fox News would be better... it'd definitely reach more Mormons!)

Failing that, just get him to sit down with my parents and answer a few of my questions. That'd solve a lot of my problems!

I'd take him to the Golden Horseshoe in Ranson, West Virginia and let him unravel from there. The Morg would die in twenty minutes.

Or the moonlight bunny ranch, and film the whole thing. So many spiritual wives, so little time. The babes I saw on the HBO special would probably make him wonder why he ever wasted his time with teenage girls.

Not that he deserves to have that much fun, he doesn't, but the video evidence of his character would be so damaging to the church.

Amen. Keep that camera rolling and let the prude Utah folk see what their hero really does in his free time.

I'd say, "Cool story, bro."

Go back to being dead.
There really is no help for the widow's son.

Hey, Joe, you look good in tar and feathers. I see the welcoming committee met you first.

One day would be about all he would last.

You're a jerk, I hate you, also how do you know if a girl is dense enough to fall for the, "An angel with a flaming sword commanded me to" line?

Or can you not kill the un-dead?

I thought you were a dead man. Then add unto his martyrdom.

"nice bullet hole you got there".

I have here hundreds of choice vigins of age 14-16 , and several great minds of this world willing to be fully obedient to you, but since I know you're not the least interested in that kinds of things, we're so interested in your messages. What are these?

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2012 11:43AM by Raptor Jesus.

"Welcome to the 21st century. We have lots of meds that will help you back to reality."

I think it's clear the Joe wasn't an atheist, and he definitely believed in supernatural phenomenon. To that point I would want to know what portion of his tall tales he believed versus how much he acknowledged to be deliberate fabrications.

I'm no fan of Joseph Smith, but I imagine he would be an entertaining conversationalist. His world was filled with ghosts and demons, buried treasure and magic talismans, angels and immortal men. Every aspect of his life was in some ways mystical to him. I'd love to just let him talk and see where his wild imagination took him.

14? WTF were you thinking?

How is Zelph and what is he up to now?

Joseph Smith, In the name of Smith & Wesson, his associate Samuel Colt, and the holy spirit of Oliver Winchester, I hereby assassinate you again.

I then insert my 18" Defender Shotgun into his mouth and pull the trigger.

I then take what's left of his head/body, and impale him on his statue on Temple Square

*samuel l. jackson voice*
"Say and it came to pass one more time motherfucker! I dare you! I double dog dare you!"

"Here's a toilet brush.


Go clean all the toilets in your dam meetinghouses.


And when you finish that, go clean the toilets over there in that 5 billion dollar mega-spectacle that your followers built.


And when you finish that, come to my house and clean MY toilets, you dirty scumbag!"