So my hubby and i were both christian for about five minutes, now im going to tell him im pretty sure im an an athiest (why cant i just say it? I think i feel guilty for not researching it into the ground first....). Anyway, luckily our marraige never has been founded on religion. When i was mormon we just agreed to disagree and i feel like it will be that way again. I dont want to change him or convince him, but i hope hes open to research. Hes a pretty simple guy, i would say in his actions hes a very apathetic christian, but deep down he believes what he was taught and what he felt as a teen getting baptized was 100% true and real. This will be interesting.

I guess my question is if any of you are in this situation and how you raise your kids if you have any ( we dont yet)

My SIL is what I would call a cultural Christian, and my brother is agnostic. They don't attend church, although they used to go to community Christmas services when their kids were still at home.

My SIL made sure that the kids had some grounding in religion. Both kids were baptised and they attended vacation bible camps for a few summers. Their son attended a Lutheran elementary school for a couple of years. That was about it, though.

Both kids are now grown and are doing fine. Neither attends church.

I would say for my SIL and my brother that it was a case of reasonable accommodation on each side. Neither has been inclined to attend church, so that helps. My brother has sometimes suggested that I investigate the UU's. He's not opposed to religion; it's just not for him.

I am atheist (exmo) and my DH is Catholic, although neither of us have changed beliefs during marriage.

We respect each other's beliefs and neither tries to convert the other - we both accept that the other knows the situation and will ask for information if they feel so inclined. DH reads my Free Inquiry, Skeptical Inquirer, and Skeptic magazines, and I read his Catholic newspapers and the like. On marriage, he asked me to go to church at Christmas and Easter, which I am happy to do. In practise I go more frequently - DH is in the Army and is sometimes away when our son is rostered on as alter server. I attend on those occasions.

He grew up in a mixed faith (Catholic/non-practising Anglican) family, so was used to attending church with his father. He takes the kids to church when he is home. They do not go when he is not home, unless our oldest is alter-serving (he enjoys doing that, but doesn't like going otherwise). I also took them for Christmas. I probably attend more than many nominal Catholics!

The kids are taught that different people believe different things, and Mum and Dad are simply an example of this. They know (well the non-autistic one does) that they will make their own minds up when they are old enough, but for now they will attend Sunday school with Dad.

I would suggest you discuss expectations and "ground-rules" before you have kids. In our case, we have not had any problems - the Mormon in-laws are another story though.

Talking about shooting one's self in the foot- I actually baptized my wife a few years back during my mission. We maintained correspondence after I finished and what happened happened.

She knows the Church has a lot of issues, but she is of the mind that it is the closest thing to what fits her ideas and spiritual needs at the moment. So, she's not a hardcore TBM, but certainly not an atheist.

In talking the past few months (the little times she actually will talk to me about religion) we've come to the agreement that she can 'raise' the kids LDS-style til they are 'of age' (8) where I will be able to sit them down and give them my 2 cents.

I suspect my wife is still a little sore over the fact that I interfered with her sister joining (making subtle comments here and there), so I predict she will keep a hawk's eye and an owl's ear on me with our kids. She doesn't want me biasing them before they've had a chance to 'experience' (aka be brainwashed) the church for themselves.

Good luck finding what works out for you and yours...

Thanks guys :)

I'm atheist and my wife is Catholic. We do just fine :)

americangirl406 Wrote:
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...
> I guess my question is if any of you are in this
> situation and how you raise your kids if you have
> any ( we dont yet)


My late father was a staunch atheist raised in a 100% LDS town
but he married my mother, baptized a Lutheran at an early age.

There was always something of an ideological struggle going on
in the household, with my father forbidding prayers at meals
or any meaningful mention of religious topics. The only time
he would allow words such as God, Christ, etc., was in violent
cursing. My mother would sneak off to the bedroom to read her
Bible, and more or less in secret, taught her kids bedtime
prayers, biblical morality, etc.

It was not a happy situation. I've spent much of my life
trying to figure out what my father meant by saying that
"God is not," or "there is no God." In his eyes Jesus was
either a fool, a knave, a fiction, or all three rolled
into one, totally undeserving of any respect whatsoever.

But, when kids are taught such things, with the same
parental assurance as 2+2=4, and the earth is a sphere,
it is not surprising that they go outside of that same
parental control to find their own answers in life.

When I was baptized a Latter Day Saint, as a young adult,
I'm sure it was a very low point in my father's life. And
when I received a graduate degree in Christianity, I know
he felt he had failed me greatly.

Such is life. Being married to a person who sees the
universe from an entirely different perspective can be
a challenge -- and especially so when the kids in such
a marriage are forced into professing one parent's set
of "facts" in public and learning the other's in secret.

Uncle Dale

I'm atheist, my wife is Mormon. I haven't told her yet.

DH is nevermo and christian, but not very into organized religion.
I was just starting my journey out when we started dating, so he's been with me for all that fun, but now that I've landed in the agnostic (leaning towards atheist) camp, I realized I was kind of afraid to tell him.

We finally had a pretty good conversation a month or so ago where I just came out and confessed that because of the reactions you get coming out of TSCC, I was afraid he would react badly if I said I was unsure about god. (He found that kind of funny, but in that sad way)

I definitely don't want his born-again family to know though. I have a feeling they would be as missionary-moment about it as the mormons...

I want to raise my kids to think freely, whether that leads to religion or not, I just want them to decide on thier own, an option I never had. I wouldn't mind praying or whatever my hubby will want to do on a small scale, I just want them to have critical thinking skills and options.