So my wife is Catholic and I'm atheist. She hasn't been able to take communion for 5 years because she married me, and in order for her to have the Catholic church's blessing, I need to apply for an annulment from my first marraige.

The annulment process includes writing a history of my life, including my childhood, experiences with drugs and alcohol, sexual history, and details about my first marraige.

I really don't feel like subjecting myself to all of that crap again, just so some religious leaders can mull through my juicy history and then judge me on it, and determine if my current marraige deserves their blessing.

Yet I want my wife to be able to participate in the church she believes in. Communion is important to her.

I've been putting this off for a couple of years now, but it's weighing on me for her sake.

I'm so aggravated with religions right now.

What would y'all do? Just curious...

I think it would be good for you to get the annulment. But your life details are none of their business.
So write down only what you want to share, and make up the rest. Leave out the details, tell the story your way, or say what you wish had happened. Are they really going to ask your first wife to confirm your story?

They said they would probably contact her for verification of details.

I don't know much about catholicism,
but writing a life history,
including sexual details and such,
what does that have to do with getting an annulment?
And why would they need this info, if you're not the one wanting communion?
Why are they withholding communion from your wife?

I'm sorry this is happening.

My heart goes out to you.
As far as disclosing things of a personal & sexual nature to a huge church/corp,
why on earth would they want such info,
other than to use
as leverage?

Hmmm. I've got nothin, give me a bit....

Because my ex-wife and I were both baptized and married in the same religion as eachother, or church rather, the catholic church recognizes my first marraige as valid. But an annulment is potentially possible if the catholic church finds reason that it shouldn't count as valid.

They don't approve all annulment requests. But until my first marraige is declared invalid by the catholic church, they consider me still married to my first wife, and view my real wife as living in sin.

Doesn't that mean your sealing was canceled?

Wish to gain an annulment from the "woman" that I had previously been married to.

I was raised by a wandering band of circus acrobats when a terrible accident caused me to be orphaned. A mob boss had tried to extort money from the circus in which my family performed, and when denied by my parents, the mob boss took their lives in cold blood.

Even though I was hidden from view, I witnessed all of this. It had a terrible effect on me and I was lost and angry for quite some time. Jumping from foster home to foster home, I had some experience with mild drug use (consisting of pain pills) but had little to no interaction with the opposite sex. Even though I was straight, the acrobat costume and circus clothing I frequently donned left heterosexual females confused and they saw me more as a "best friend," "little brother," or "shopping buddy" type.

One day I was taken in by a very wealthy and powerful man. He had also been orphaned at a young age, and due to our history, he asked me to be his ward.

I learned many things from that man, and I taught him a lot as well. Things dealing primarily with not being such a lonely recluse, and also how bright colors stand out in the darkness and draw gunfire.

One day, and I can never tell him this story, I fell in love with a woman. At least I thought it was love. She beguiled me just like that talking snake did in that stupid story you Catholics all love so much.

We married in secret - but soon afterwards I found out she was only using me to get close to the one man who truly understood me. She had a diabolical plot to destroy the whole city and kept claiming that the citizens "deserved it."

She was as diabolical as she was enchanting. However, we never consummated the marriage. Each time I asked her about it, she would laugh right in my face. That's why over the period of several years, I began to grow suspicious.

Please annul this marriage. For it is shameful to me.

The power of Christ compels you.

"The power of Christ compels you."

HAHAHAHA! That somehow made the entire post! =D

Hahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!

Thanks raptor! You did all the hard work for me! They have to approve it!

LOL...that made my day!

I'm puzzled as to why you need the annulment when you're not Catholic. This whole situation isn't making sense to me. This is really what she was told?

Same here. "We need your atheist husband to submit to our authority and explain why he divorced his previous (assumed) non-Catholic wife in order for you to be able to eat symbolic crackers and wine." Really? Ugh.

Haha!

That sentence sums it up perfectly!

(its not supposed to make sense)

Timothy

I'm saying that as a born and bred Catholic. I can see if either Lost Mystic or his wife were previously married in the Catholic church. Then there would be something to annul. Just trying to figure it out.

Perhaps a currently practicing Catholic can chime in. I'll ask a neighbor who is active in the church when I see him. I agree with Glo, below, that the likelihood of the wife being denied communion is not great.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/09/2012 02:38PM by summer.

It surprised all of us as well. The issue is that because my ex-wife and I were both baptized LDS and married LDS the catholic church recognized both baptism and marraige as valid.

If one of us would have been catholic in my first marraige, it wouldn't have counted.

Silly silly bullshit...

Okay, I looked up church law, and you are correct -- the Catholic church considers your first marriage to have been valid. Essentially they consider your present wife to be "living in sin." She must have a really hard-assed priest to be denying her communion. Sorry about that.

If you marry in another church being a full believer of that church it is considered a sacramental marriage in the eyes of a catholic. If two Mormons married then later converted to Catholicism their marriage would be looked at as valid. Annulling a marriage doesn't bastardize children, and sure she could go anywhere else and take communion or take it from a minister at mass that isn't aware of her state of grace, if you will, but I can understand why it feels dishonest to her.

Your wife can take Communion in every service of her chosing, no one will check.
Not EVER.

Does she ignore the church's ban on birth control the way most Catholics do?
This is no different.

Lie. Your life is your business. Claim you were a choir boy.

Or you could have fun. Tell them you can only orgasm if a gun is held to your head - literally.

While the whole thing stinks, IMO, the part about annulment that always bothers me the most is that it makes any children from your first marriage technically bastards. More irrelevant symbolism, but it might not be irrelevant to them. Something to consider.

Or I may be way off base here and wrong. Just something that I read someplace.

White wash, hide, and make it a faithful history. Follow the example Joseph smith set and only provide the most faithful facts.

If you make it vanilla you probably won't satisfy them that your state of mind was such that the marriage was invalid. They ask the questions to determine if you entered the marriage in a mature state of mind and freely. If you whitewash, it will be counterproductive.

I don't think they'd check.

It is purely and simply a control thing.
Wife was "bad girl" marrying a non-catholic. Therefore the powers that be must demonstrate their power.
sound familiar???

If Lost Mystic was married in the catholic church he would need an annulment from his first wife to marry again. His wife, however, is not barred from taking communion. She can go to confession and be as good as new or do what the rest of us do..just take communion...no one there to stop you because no one cares what you do in your personal life.

Yes, she is barred from Communion. According to the rules of the Catholic Church, if you are not married through the Catholic Church, meaning that you are having sex out of wedlock, then you are not eligible for Communion. Even if you go to confession, you are not eligible.

She can receive Communion, but she would be committing another sin if she did so. You're right that people probably aren't going to stop her because they don't know.

I know this because my parents went through the same thing. They were high school sweethearts, got married through the government, but not through the church.

"My father was a Muslim extremist and would beat me to within an inch of my life if I ever asked to play with an American kid. I secretly watched him rape a 13-year-old girl I knew because his Shihk told him to. My father later forced me to marry this girl when I was 16. She was abusive towards me and said that if I ever raised our kids to be pro-american she would kill me and make it look like an accident. I snuck away in the middle of the night, changed my name, and have never looked back. I am now happily married to wife #2."

It doesn't matter if it's true or not.

I don't quite understand the need for the annulment either, but the reason they ask the personal questions is to determine your state of mind at the time of the first marriage. If you were addicted you might not have been in the proper state of mind to make such a committment. If you had no intention of keeping your vows or if you made promises you didn't intend to keep, that might be grounds for an annulment.

Biggest BS I've ever heard........

You are already worse than a Child Molesting Priest, who can repent & make it heaven, but you?

Because they "need to consider all of the factors leading up to my first marraige."

Oh yeah...the whole thing costs a few hundred dollars as well...even if I get turned down.

Money and control.

The way I see it, she knew going into your marriage that she wouldn't be able to receive Communion and that was her choice.

My husband was another denomination and at the time I was a devout Catholic. He told me right out that he would go through the whole process if I wanted, so we could get married through the Church. I said "no" because I didn't think that was fair to him.

Honestly, it's pretty much like the whole Temple Marriage thing. They hold all these things above your head unless you do exactly what they want you to do. It's BS.