Posted by:
Jesus Smith
(
)
Date: August 22, 2012 07:42AM
The 3/12 promote LDS marriage in a particular way.
- Youth: prepare to marry, prepare to be sealed, prepare to have family, ad nauseum
- No sex, even with self, before marriage
- Do not delay getting sealed
- No sex with anyone besides your spouse, even yourself, in marriage
- Do not delay having a family--school, job, money are not reasons to delay
- Constantly do church things as a family, FHE, prayers, yada yada
LDS marriage is taught to young women in a silly fantasy, with a temple that is a castle, and an RM priesthood prince to sweep them away from the ills & temptations of this world. Once sealed, life is happily ever after.
LDS marriage is a trap for men. I know this is gonna be controversial, so endure with me.
Why?
Any man who is forbidden from sex with anyone, including self, except a wife, will be eager to marry if he has any red-blooded testosterone flowing in his arteries. For him, getting an emotional bond is secondary to getting legitimized sex (and perhaps having a family is next). He can confide and open his heart all he wants before marriage. He can hang out, goof around and be friends all he wants before marriage. Young men aren't worried about having kids too soon. They want sex. Once in the marriage, as long as his wife gives him sex and isn't emotionally abusive/controlling, the average LDS man will be happy. If, god permits, she shuts him down sexually for any petty or even moderate reason, he will be shut out of what he married for in the first place. Marriage has become a prison. If he dares go outside of the marriage, even engaging in masturbation, he is a big-time sinner and horrible person. Masturbation (porn use) is cause for break-up. Never mind that he was shut down and imprisoned.
Now what about the woman? (This is simplified, I know, but space is short.) Most women know that they can get sex anytime they want. Just knowing that is often fairly satisfying to their physical ego. What they seem to want more is adoration and emotional attachment with a strong man. If their husband shuts them down emotionally, it is tragic. But if a woman goes elsewhere to find her emotional needs met--talking with friends, family, LDS leaders, anyone--it isn't seen as being unfaithful. She can have her most important needs met outside of the marriage (albeit, less satisfyingly). It's acceptable.
BUT, LDS leaders know that if a woman has children, she is trapped. If the husband is abusive, bishops are still counseled to encourage them to stay the course. Top leaders encourage woman to have as many children and as early as possible, regardless of finances or other factors.
Once the man and woman are trapped by what motivates each, they are beholden in a vicious cycle that keeps them praying, paying and obeying indefinitely.
Bottom line: The LDS leaders know how to trap their victims, and they preach financial irresponsibility, poor judgment and impulsiveness in this case, when at all other times, they want members to be responsible, careful, and frugal.
The evidence is not strong, but it shows a pattern of purposeful manipulation to entrap.