Posted by:
John_Lyle
(
)
Date: September 08, 2012 12:41PM
I am not sure how to explain this. This really isn't an exit-story, because I haven't gone to church, except for a couple of times to impress a girl friend since high school, for decades. I don't know where it fits.
The first couple of times I posted, I posted as 'nevermo'. I apologize for that. Quite frankly, I am scared to death to self-identify as an 'exmorg' for reasons that are not clear to me.
My history with the morg is long, and, to me, very complicated. I can't remember, because my PTSD has blanked out a significant portion of my long term memory of the period.
One of my sibs and I were talking about this and she said she remembers us being baptized. This scared the hell out of me.
The morg followed me around for most of my life, (including to Australia where I went to school) until I got married the second time, (In "Dr. Love's Chapel of Love" at Lake Tahoe, I highly recommend it. I think you can even get an Elvis impersonator.), to an Asian woman.
I don't know where this part goes, but the morg went after my mother in the '90's who was a very devout Christian. The people who they sent to pound on her were her friends, friends all of us in the family knew were morg. They started in talking to her about food storage, of all things, and tried to go from there. My mom was polite, but pointed out we lived on a farm and could be 100% self-sufficient without buying a big bag of wheat.
Now that I am retired and realizing I want to face a lot of stuff I have put off for a long time. The morg is one of those things. I have no idea how to do that. Every memory, every time I think about it, I get this uncomfortable feeling in my gut and have a panic attack. Right now, I feel like I am going puke.
I don't know if I should love or hate Mitt Romney for this. He triggered this. I love to intellectualize things and I tried to speak out about Mitt in a purely intellectual manner. It didn't work. So, I thought I would check out the exmo boards and see if I could, intellectually, figure out why people join and stay in the lds.
And, bam, it set off this bomb. I am really embarrassed to admit anything about this.
So, I showed up here and have been watching and commenting, (if there is one thing I have a deplorable excess of is opinions and an eidetic memory).
Right now, my biggest fear is of rejection...
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/08/2012 12:45PM by John_Lyle.