I wasn't home and neither was DS but my daughter reported that the YM leader dropped by and asked my husband that question. Why can't Mormons see how messed up it is that they assume the problem is with the person not attending? And why do they assume WE want our son to attend? Why would we cooperate in making him feel comfortable somewhere we don't want him to be? And why would he feel uncomfortable with a group of boys he's known since he was in elementary school?

Listen up, former-first-minion-now-YM-leader ... My son feels comfortable around these boys but he doesn't want to come clean the church with them. He has real friends he goes camping with. He'd rather be in school taking an AP class than learning about mythological Nephites and Lamanites. He'd rather be watching The Big Bang Theory than going to Thursday night brainwashing about missions and paying tithing. He's tired of fun activities being cancelled because of budget cuts or leader apathy.

Anyway 1) I still need a good comeback for this comment - I think I'm going to pretend I think YML is warning me that the boys make others uncomfortable and sympathize with him about the boys he has to work with, assuring him DS is comfortable working with difficult children. 2) I still need a new name for this wretched former bishopric member who even Bishop Jackwagon couldn't tolerate and released mid-term. DH says "little shit" is inappropriate for mixed-age company. 3) Oh, and of course, this guy dropped by unannounced.

Something like.

Stop stalking him like he is going to be your next boy toy.

It's not DS that is uncomfortable with you, we are uncomfortable with you, we are just trying to protect our son from potential pedophiles.

If you threaten my son again so help me Satan you will pay for it. You are a sick sick man, get some help for god's sake.

How about calling him Brother Thumbscrew? Seems appropriate in ...so many ways.

You can always use YOUR favorite response: "Don't you see, Brother Thumbscrew? This is why people think Mormons are WEIRD! Now stop it!"

I've got one,

"Brother Thumbscrew, I think you and I need to sit down and talk about your unnatural attraction to my son. He is a beautiful child but you are an adult male and frankly, I'm worried because you won't take no for an answer."

He should be backing away before you even finish!

Anagrammy

I like this.

Narrow your eyes. Stare him down. Then say, "What is it with your obsession with my son?" Or what Anagrammy said. Perfect.

+100

"As our son's parents, it's OUR job--not yours--to see that our son participates in activities that will enrich his life. Your attempts to encourage participation in YM activities, while well-intentioned, cross a boundary that we aren't comfortable with. We consider his attendance at ward activities to be strictly voluntary, and we don't want anyone pressuring him to participate if he's not interested enough to go on his own."

Hey... that worked for me and my kids. People would leave us alone after that.

But then, my (now adult) kids have nothing to do with mormonism anymore, and are successful in their respective fields. Go figure.

+1
Loved it! I said pretty much the same thing to my freaked out TBM girlfriends years ago when I told them I knew that Joseph Smith was a con man.

Them: "We are worried about your salvation!"

Me: "Are you scared for me or just frightened that there is an uncomfortable truth about the church that you aren't ready to see?"

Yes!

"You want my son to revere and respect a prophet who was a pedophile EVEN Joseph Smith Jr...and we just can't wrap our arms around that. Thus, it not us and not you - it's the belief system that we are uncomfortable with." Then give him the chart of Smith's wives that was posted earlier in the week.

Look him in the eyes and say:

"You are asking the wrong question. You should be asking us for permission to proselytize or fellowship our son. The answer is no, you may not."

I would say "If we wanted him there, he would be there, now leave us alone"

I think parents should take the high road and be as polite and professional as possible and leave the wise cracking to the kids, to a limited extent.

When a stake MIA leader once asked why I wasn't interested (in some activity or another, maybe scouting in general) I just said, "It doesn't turn me on," to which she replied, "It doesn't turn you on, huh?" She clearly understood but took it well and didn't push. This was in the late 1960's, early 1970's.

One time I answered the phone and it was a local MIA leader who wanted me to do something and I declined. In the conversation I said "not particularly" with a bit of attitude and my mom picked up on it, afterward letting me know she wasn't pleased but didn't push the issue. I didn't either, as I learned attitude from both my parents...

My parents had to deal with my dropping released time seminary to take a class, as well as fading interest in MIA. I was college-bound, getting straight A's in school, plus extracurricular activities. And a part time job my senior year. In the background my parents regularly fended off inquiries, although I did learn later of my mom's confrontation with the bishop in which he asked what he could do to bring me back. She simply replied, "Nothing." To which he answered, "Oh, don't say that!" My parents were always polite but stood firm: Leave him alone.

BcE



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/13/2012 11:03AM by Bicentennial Ex.

Don't get me wrong: I love a snappy rejoinder!

BcE

"What can we do to make your son feel more comfortable at YM?"

Get him a hot YW to hook up with. Maybe several.

Don't they want him to emulate the profit, Joseph Smith? Then he needs to start early to follow the profit...

Perfect.

I know this may sound trite, but the Mormons hounded us to the end of our patience. We tried every snappy comeback I could think of, and they just don't listen. They're really not operating under their own power. They come by and make some erroneous remark. You send them on their way, and then different people come next week. It's a revolving door of deafness. I love how "What can we do to make your son feel more comfortable at YM?" begs the question and assumes that he would go.

Just tell them that he doesn't believe in it. Say "You know how you don't believe in the Catholic church? How hard would you work and pray to gain a testimony of the Catholic church? You wouldn't, because you will never believe in the Catholic church. That's how my son doesn't believe in the Mormon church."

Thanks guys - great responses. And thanks for letting me run this by you all again. The YM leaders (and other Mormons, come to think of it) throw out these cracks, or drop by unannounced, or make assumptions and then it's like a hit-and-run. It's so frustrating because it's all just so slippery and it's nice to have some ammo to take a stand with, instead of always having to turn the other cheek.

"Dear brother jackwagon:

Why do you assume we want our son to attend? Why would we cooperate in making him feel comfortable somewhere we don't want him to be? And why would he feel uncomfortable with a group of boys he's known since he was in elementary school?

Listen up, brother jackwagon ... My son feels comfortable around these boys but he doesn't want to come clean the church with them. He has real friends he goes camping with. He'd rather be in school taking an AP class than learning about mythological Nephites and Lamanites. He'd rather be watching The Big Bang Theory than going to Thursday night brainwashing about missions and paying tithing. He's tired of fun activities being cancelled because of budget cuts or leader apathy."

.

.

.

Oh, that's right, you authored that! And it was perfect! Your response in your opening statement is exactly what I'd write back to brother jackwagon. (It may just cause him to shut his sacrament bread hole.)

AND THEY WONDER WHY WE WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT AND POKING FUN AT THEIR LITTLE CULT THAT COULD (or couldn't). BECAUSE THEY ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO LEAVE US, AND OUR LOVED ONES, ALONE.

(And how about grown men, alone, interviewing young boys and girls about how / when / where they touch their fun parts. Tell brother jackwagon that this aspect of the morg disgusts you, and you refuse to subject your DS to this type of mental anguish and sexual abuse.)

I liked just what you said in the OP:

"Why would we cooperate in making him feel comfortable somewhere we don't want him to be? And why would he feel uncomfortable with a group of boys he's known since he was in elementary school?"

I see that no one has yet responded to your most important question #2. Some possible names:

Spanky
Dribbles
Mohonri
Porkchop
Farquaad
Special Spirit
knobcheese
doltus maximus

But here are some more:

MoHomey Mormonanteater

Drooley Nambla

Fingers McGrope

Doofus MoGoon

Stepan Fetcher

;-)

Sorry - you are right - and Brother Thumbscrew is great. In retrospect put Brother in front of all of mine! Brother Knobcheese & so on.

I personally love Spanky and Dribbles - it sounds like a pair of tag-team missionaries or home teachers.

But I have to object to Porkchop since it's a satirical term of endearment I use around the house here...LOL!

Thanks for the name ideas!

Be clear about "He's not uncomfortable with the YM; he's uncomfortable with the church. Can you change the church?"

Excellent point