Okay, here's the deal.
My two boys go to school in their dad's area, better school system. And they go to their dad & stepmom's ward (I resigned and am no longer a member). My older son was telling me that 2 German kids at his high school have been going to church, including youth activities, and one of them is also going to seminary.

Both kids, a boy and girl, are staying with Mormon families, so I guess it isn't surprising. The girl is Catholic, I believe, don't know about the boy. I told my son that it is NOT OKAY for a host family to prosyletize minor kids like that. Son told me that both German kids enjoyed the activities and wanted to go. Makes no difference, son. These kids are MINORS, and if this is happening without the knowledge or consent of their parents back in Germany, those Mormon host families could be in a hell of a lot of trouble.

I saw a link posted on RfM about this very subject not too long ago. There was a discussion on a Mormon site about foreign exchange students and not trying to convert them. Can't remember the link, and I've been trying to track it down. Does anybody know where it is?

Also, I intend to say something about this. I really don't know anybody in my ex's ward, but this is something I could bring to the attention of my ex, as I believe he knows both families. He may be TBM but he wouldn't condone a host family taking advantage of foreign exchange kids behind their parent's backs, if that's what's going on.

If the parents know and are okay with it, it's none of my business and that's the end of it. I'm suspicious though, knowing how too many Mormons ignore boundaries, and if these kids are being taken advantage of, it needs to stop.

Any ideas on how to proceed?

If they are sponsored, then contact that agency and describe the religious situation to them. Let them deal with it if they so choose.

That's what I would do. I would stay completely away from talking to anyone at church. You are considered an enemy of the church. They will not listen to you.

The agency is the only way to go.

*sigh* That's what I was afraid of. I don't know what agency sponsored the students; I suppose the high school would know, but I don't know that they would discuss that kind of information with me. I'll try to do some more research into it and see what I can find out

You could ask about the agency saying you might be interested in sponsoring a student.

You could contact the school, tell them what is going on, and ask how to get in touch with the agency. If this is in Utah, might not work, unless you no a non-Mo or an Apostate who works at the school.

It was made clear to us in the prep process that we would be expected to accompany our host families to their usual services right along with their own children. We did not necessarily know the religion of the particular families ahead of time, but we did know the predominant religions of the geographic area. Prior to being accepted to the program students AND their parents were questioned about their feelings about this to make sure they were OK about the idea.

The point of all this was that the students truly become as much a part of the host family and their family life as possible.

Personally, as an exchange student I attended catholic services with my host families a handful of times (and I've never been catholic) because that's what their own kids did.

(Of course, different groups may run their exchange programs differently or less responsibly?)

The exchange program I went through (twenty some-odd years ago) made it very clear that proselytizing was against the rules. Our German exchange student went to church with with us once, maybe twice because she wanted to see what it was like but she had to clear it with her parents first. She never attended after that except for the occasional youth activity (e.g. roller skating ... we didn't have toilet cleaning back then;)).

Are you in Utah? We were not and I can imagine that it's difficult to have an exchange program there where parents are willing to sign stuff that explicitly forbids proselytizing.

That's helpful to know flo, I appreciate the insight.
I'm not the sort of person to stick their nose in other people's business, but knowing the Mormon religion very well, attending Mormon services/activities has a lot more strings attached than most other church participation. At what point does it cross the line from say, 'reasonable' activity to immersion? When my son mentioned that David (the German boy) was attending early morning seminary......I mean that's every morning M-F before school at 6 AM. That's a bit much, even for a lot of the Mormon kids!

In the TBM mind, there are no boundaries. I think the most they can do in the eyes of the law is take them to church, but they can't baptise them. But they'll probably still do it anyway.

Well, if they do get baptized. The parents will probably be mad that there kinder are now a part of the LDS church . I currently reside in Deutschland and the LDS religion is very small here. Oh dear.

An extended family is hosting an exchange family for the current school year. That family is Catholic and attends Mass two or three times a month. The exchange student stays at home and studies, reads, or spends time on the Internet. I think this is the proper way to handle the religion situation.

I am 100% sure that AFS, Rotary, and any other exchange program is Hands Off Proselytizing when hosting a student; however, the student is welcome to attend a host family's church as part of the cultural experience, and the family is also under obligation to get the child to a church of his or her choosing if so desired.

I remember a story in my home town where a Swedish girl caused a ruckus at the local methodist church when she openly said at a church function that she'd already had sex back home; an upperclassmen buddy of mine got an underwater BJ from her, so I guess she was definitely a free & easy Swede (and I missed ALL the good parties!!)

I did a Rotary Foundation Fellowship in Australia.

I don't remember anyone I lived with ever going to church and I lived with a lot of different families. I have no idea what their religion was. Sundays for just about everyone usually meant hang over or 'hair of the dog that bit you.'

I never had a religion problem, but I did have a problem with one of my host families. Rotary had me out of there before I got back from school.

If these two kids are Rotary, call your local Rotary Club and tell them. They will be gone to a non-morg home in a heartbeat...

Every Rotary student has an assigned 'counselor'/advocate. My counselor got me out of the bad situation without upsetting anyone. This is where I would start, if the agency is Rotary.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2012 02:21PM by John_Lyle.

If they are from Germany, they most likely aren't religious. My good friend is German, was baptized, goes to church on holidays, and calls herself Catholic. Neither she nor her parents believe in god. She considers it part of her "culture" to do the church thing.

Call the agency, invite the kids over for a German dinner, SOMETHING, do not look the other way.

My nephew missionary was talking about teaching the discussions to an exchange student in his weekly emails to the family. I said something to my sibling regarding it might not be allowed, who said something to my nephew. In a follow up email, he said they were no longer teaching the exchange student because he couldn't be baptised. Follow your gut and ask about it.

"Follow your gut and ask about it." Thanks Moira, that's EXACTLY what I intend to do.

And thanks for all the comments everyone. I did some more research online and BINGO: found the agency that sponsors foreign exchange students at this high school. I just read an article about another German student who came to the same community and stayed with a host family (NOT Mormon) who had a wonderful experience; the article was (ironically) entitled "Exchange Family Match Made In Heaven".

"Heaven" can just as easily turn to hell if your host family and Mormon peers are not-so-subtly bringing you into their church while violating rules & boundaries.

I'm aware of how secular Europe is; I grew up half Swiss/half Austrian and visited relatives out there a number of times. I have a hard time imagining a German parent being enthusiastic about their son getting up at 5:30 every morning for LDS indoctrination classes or their daughter getting lessons about "modesty" and "temple marriage" with the YW.

So, I'm going to get some more info and see if I can get word to this agency about the situation. If there's a problem, better to address it sooner than later.

http://www.effoundation.org/ This is the organization we work with. They have a strict "no conversion" policy - even with the approval of the students parents. I am not sure, but that stipulation may come straight from the U.S. State Department who monitors students on a monthly basis.

The rest of my nuclear family is TBM and we've hosted quite a few students. Only one elected to go to church on a regular basis and he was an atheist who liked to dress up and wear a necktie. He really loves my TBM family, so he just saw it as an extension of that I think.