Yes it is true you can become stronger because of bad things that happen to you, and you can learn from your mistakes; it is absolutely nuts to think everything happens for a reason. Some mormons act like life is a video game. "God gives us challenges that test us and it is up to us to overcome them by praying and following the teachings of the church."

That sounds good in Sacrament meeting to middle class in America who for the most part do not have the same "challenges" that many in the world have. If you are born in Mali for example, there is a 20% chance you won't live to see your 5th birthday. If you are fortunate enough to live past age 5, there is still a good chance you will have no access to healthcare; not access to bad healthcar4e, but access to no healthcare! This will be a problem considering only 8% of Mali's population has access to modern sanitation facilities, and only 20% of the nation's villages have modern water facilities.

The "test" of life is certainly easier for some than others.

Saying it sure comes in handy to create common ground and then it smoothly transitions into a great manipulative tool. No wonder they like it so much.

I prefer this version:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.

Good one bc. I think I'll try it out sometime :)

Or someone else made a bad decision that landed on you or you were unlucky or there are things in the world we can't control and sometimes get us.

I suppose the Forest Gump version is shit happens.

What about God will never give you more than you can handle? WTF??? Assuming there is a God, he must be an awesome God to go around shoveling as much crap as he thinks people can handle. Those people in Mali sure must be able to handle a lot of $&@#!

Religion is very good at making excuses for "god." When bad things happen, it's because he's mysterious. Or we don't understand his ways. Or a greater good will come of it.

I have the best excuse of all for him. He doesn't exist!

+1

It's true. Everything happens for a reason. But the reason comes before the thing that happens.

Edit: now I get it. I had Christian friends that used the expression to mean that something that appears bad happened for a reason - reason being that something good was going to follow. It sounds like Mormons don't mean it that way(?).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2012 12:19AM by thingsithink.

Next time someone says everything happens for a reason punch them in the face, and then ask what the reason for that was?

That was my laugh for the night. Thanks. :)

I hate it. I think it was a factor in my leaving. I had a lot of struggles and thought that god would have had to have been sadistic asshole to be doing those things on purpose.

Personally I think 'random sh!t happens' is closer to the truth.

I agree completely. Tossing out non sequiturs such as "everything happens for a reason" and "God will never give you more than you can handle" like pieces of cheap candy in a parade is NOT the same as a faith-filled religion providing comfort in a world where terrible things happen all the time.

And it certainly doesn't fill empty stomachs, treat crippling conditions, drill wells for water, or inoculate against diseases.

People with enough life experience know that things don't always happen for a reason. We learn that chaos theory is actually the one thing that does provide some answers to randomness.

The only people I know who say this with any regularity are the ones who haven't had much of anything really bad happen in their own lives....yet. And there's always a bit of a condescending tone that goes along with it.

Another gem from one of them, to those experiencing something awful: "Maybe you weren't grateful enough" (for having a good life).

Uh - what's the scriptural basis for this? (none) What makes you think so? (crickets, then blustering)

It's annoying. I don't like pat philosophizing. It's so Pollyannaish.

So...what's the difference? a material causative reason vs. a moral one? What's the alternative--that we live in an irrational universe? That some things have reasons but others don't? That we have responsibility for some things but are random victims of others?

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2012 01:03AM by steve benson.

Everything does happen for a reason. You die, its because there is no longer blood flowing to your brain. You get sick, it's because you are infested with microbes.

Get a job, it's because you put in for it, and your new boss liked you better then all the other people he did not hire. Don't get a job, he didn't like you. Go to prison, either you committed a crime, or the jury at least thought you did.

However, none of the vast number of things that happen to us every single day, happen because an invisible man in the clouds or on the planet Kolob has a plan.

In the Lord's time (as my mother always says)

In spanish, people always say "Si dios quiere" meaning "if god wants". As if everything has to do with god. No free agency here.

One of my co-workers is terribly fond of this saying, and uses it at work at least once a week. Each time she says it, I respond with something like "Jaycee Dugard was totally kidnapped for a reason," or "____ [the severely brain-damaged child who was shaken as an infant by his mother and who attends the school where my co-worker and I teach] was absolutely shaken for a reason." It shuts her up for the moment, but then she says it again in roughly five days.

I also like the "it's God's plan/it's part of God's plan" excuse for crummy things that happen in your life. I too believed it until my husband lost custody of his son to his violent, certifiably crazy ex (who is a devout TBM). I thought "What plan has a child to go live with a crazy person who will eventually physically hurt him and who is mentally and psychologically harming him now? What kind of god would do that?" And that started me on my path to atheism and realizing ALL religion is bunk.

After a friends husband died leaving two young children I remember I commented in RS that I did no understand how heavenly father says we should live in families and yet this 'allowed' to happen. Got a great response - not! I just wanted to genuinely know.
But then recently I wanted to hear Elder Holland on the BBC defend the BOA- sat there waiting for the answer to come - nope!
You would think I would get the message by now..............

+1 This is the most idiotic thing said by religious people. It bothers me some people can be so horrifically stupid sometimes.

When our only child died, I heard lots of, "There's a reason for everything." To which my answer (eventually) was, "Really. Please tell me the REASON that allows Charles Manson and Charlie Sheen to have kids, but not me? Hmmm? Reason?"

To which they usually replied, "Well it's part of God's Plan." And, snotty little me would, once again, respond, "Really. What PART of that Plan involves my only child dying? God's only begotten was supposed to die, not mine. I did NOT vote for that in 'Pre-existent Family Council!' So, if you know some part of this 'Plan' that I don't, fill me in. Otherwise, keep your cliches to yourself!"


As a fairly passive sort, I think I shocked a few people.LOL

The best is when TBMs constantly refer to Joseph Smith's trials and hardships and act like all of it was some sort of divine sifting or tempering he was put through by God. LOL. As if he didn't bring all that shit on himself. but still... all for a reason, right?