-- 90% of the vehicles you see are SUVs or minivans, and roughly 80% of those have at least one car seat in them.

-- Church buildings outnumber coffee shops and bars by about 50 to 1 (unless you're in Salt Lake City).

-- The grocery stores all run out of Cheerios, diapers, and milk every Saturday night.

-- The local "hot spot" on Saturday night is not a dance club, bar, or fancy restaurant, but Macey's, Reams, or Walmart.

-- The freeway billboards advertise plastic surgery, breast augmentation -- and modest clothing.

A whole segment on the 5:00 news (channel 4, abc ktvx) devoted to whether or not Ann Romney was wearing her garments on the Jay Leno show. Really!

When every session of conference is on TV

The weatherman's son is now the weatherman.

Every block has somebody named Moffat living there.

There is a restaurant on every commercial block, but no Starbucks.


Anagrammy

All the Mormon parents at PTA huddle together and ignore EVERYONE not a Mormon.

Ha! This is why the private christian school my son attends banned Mormons about 5 years ago, they tried to take over everything!

I missed out on the first thread. Probably someone already said: "Everyone looks pissed-off."

lol

That's an understatement.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2012 03:35AM by liminal state.

Inside a Target or a Walmart in Utah, there are more shades of blonde hair coloring products than the average person could imagine. Seriously, you can find sunflower blonde, sugar cookie blonde, honey blonde, sultry blond, light ash blond, medium ash blonde, diamond blonde, golden sunlit blonde, buttermilk blonde, alabaster blonde, lemony yellow blonde, pale platinum blonde, glowing platinum blonde, taffy blonde, chamomile blonde, ginger ale blonde, honey butter blonde, eggshell blonde, champagne blonde, vanilla malt blonde, linen blonde, macadamia nut blonde, cream soda blonde, almond blonde, butterscotch blonde, Malibu blonde, paparazzi blonde,lobotomy blonde, and butternut blonde.

I could continue, but I'll spare the reader. Hair color manufacturers, not people living in Happy Valley, make all of those shades but only in Utah - especially Utah Valley - can you find all those shades and more in a single store aisle. Perhaps in North Dakota as well you might see an amazing array of blonde shades, but not in many other places.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2012 03:14AM by scmd.

I think there are some New Names in there that Lady Clairol can develop just for the Utar market.

Here are a couple more:
white-n-delightsome blonde
BYU cheerleader blonde
Timpanogos Temple Tammy blonde
Oqirrh ochre blonde

Those are all most fitting as well. The sad thing is that I didn't even make up half of mine.

I have a sister who lost her blondness earlier than did most of the kids in my family and who refused to go brunette gracefully. In high school she was bringing home some bizarre shade of blonde every month.

xyz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think there are some New Names in there that
> Lady Clairol can develop just for the Utar
> market.
>
> Here are a couple more:
> white-n-delightsome blonde
> BYU cheerleader blonde
> Timpanogos Temple Tammy blonde
> Oqirrh ochre blonde

"90% of the vehicles you see are SUVs or minivans, and roughly 80% of those have at least one car seat in them."

And 90% of those vehicles have some kind of BYU insignia on it plus a line of stick figures on the rear window showing a heterosexual couple and how many kids they have.

"The grocery stores all run out of Cheerios, diapers, and milk every Saturday night."

The Saturday night stampede of white people at Walmart.

"The local "hot spot" on Saturday night is not a dance club, bar, or fancy restaurant, but Macey's, Reams, or Walmart."

lol @ Walmart.

"The freeway billboards advertise plastic surgery, breast augmentation -- and modest clothing."

. . . and bankruptcy and recovery from pornography services.

Also, the streets go dead on Sunday, and businesses opened on Sundays give you better service because one, they have more time for you, and two, they're just glad to see someone in the store at all on Sunday.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2012 11:49AM by liminal state.

MORE You Know You're In Utah When...

Someone invades your personal boundaries with a condescending manner and starts asking questions that are none of their business, and imply a judgment if you aren't married, don't have kids, drink coffee, aren't Mormon.....

Your neighbors that are normally friendly and wave on weekdays are all dressed up in suits and dresses rushing around all stressed out on Sundays.

Someone comes by to pick up their kid and gives you grief for letting them come over & watch tv on Sunday.

Total strangers knock on your door out of the blue, then ask you to turn down your music so we can talk about the ward.

Your son joins boy scouts and that starts a new round of love bombing.

You can tell someone no you aren't coming back to church, to their face and they don't believe you.

People tell you that they know that you still know the church is true...

You keep coming back to RFM to help stay sane.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2012 09:18AM by smithscars.

"Someone invades your personal boundaries with a condescending manner and starts asking questions that are none of their business, and imply a judgment if you aren't married, don't have kids, drink coffee, aren't Mormon....."

So as non mo living in Utah (SLC area, not happy valley, but I work in Happy Valley...aka "The Bubble")...

No one has judged me...to my face about my drinking coffee at work, nor about my drinking habits. Again I say to my face. I'm not saying this isn't happening, what I'm saying is that they aren't discussing it with me.

Me and my nonmormon co workers...along with my mormon coworkers, drink coffee in front of the mormons because, it's normal, and also talk about our weekends including what and how much we drank. To nomos this is normal. To mormons, if it bothers them, that's their problem. If they talk amongst their mormon selves or at church about us heathens...so be it, but they are smart enough to NOT bring it up to me and the other nomos at work..

As someone that was never officially baptized, I can tell you that I am treated differently than an exmormon, who is considered a traitor.

. . . students ask their teachers if they can do thier culture reports on the Nephites! (Seriously. A teacher friend told me of this request.)

True story...coming from a friend going to SLCC at night in his math clas...

The t-e-a-c-h-e-r was telling one of her a-d-u-l-t students that he should NOT be french kissing his girlfriend..

Again this is COLLEGE...at night...all with ADULTS...



only in Utah...

I had a similar thing happen. I was contacted by my son's elementary school teacher (lower grades....these kids were not much more than babies and were lightyears before puberty). She was "concerned" and felt she had an obligation to tell me that my son and a little girl in his class were playing together at recess and smiling at each other a lot in class. She complained that the little girl was so crazy about him that she wasn't paying attention to her work. I told her I didn't see what my son was doing wrong....why can't little boys enjoy playing and socializing with little girls as well as other little boys? I failed to see what was so ominous. She looked at me like I was from Mars. A few weeks later, she contacted me again, stating that she had observed this little girl chasing my son on the playground and that once she caught him, (brace yourself for a schock) they switched and my son then chased after the little girl. When I was a kid, this was a game called "tag" and I never saw it turn into any kind of sin-fest. I again told her I was confused about why this was a problem. I asked if they were doing anything inappropriate when they "caught" each other or if they were just switching places and the catcher became the catchee. She stated that they were just chasing each other, but that they were so young and that she thought I should "be careful because little boys shouldn't be playing with little girls at such a young age." (???????????????) I know for a fact she was mormon. I'm not sure what planet she was from.

Wow.

I like your tag here on RFM...

Wow young boys and girls chasing each other on the playground......serious stuff..

were they engaged at the end of the school year?????

You see a TBM family blessing their food at Mcdonalds.

This was a fun thread to read, but it made me cringe just to think about visiting that living-hell-on-earth. What kind of third rate "Colonial Williamsburg" is this?

My ex would see Mormons everywhere, he was obsessed with mormons. It drove me crazy.

He would walk to a restaurant, scan everyone, then watch all the groups he thought may be Mormons, then bitch about how all the Mormons in the place ruined the evening. They hadn't done a thing that actually intruded into our space.

I never would have noticed if he hadn't whined about the Mormons all night long.

Just to be sure people know, he had no real evidence that the groups were Mormon.

I stopped in a rural town west of Cedar City and ordered burgers, fries, the works, but when I asked for a tall glass of ice tea they looked at me cross-eyed. You'd think I'd asked for gasoline or a cup of feathers or something equally bizzare!

Then my DD was with her children at the public park play ground in St. George. A moron mother loudly told her children to not play with my grand children!
My DD was in a tank top (with bra), had some nice purple streaks in her red brown hair, dangley earrings and a nice small jewel in her nose! Such a danger!!!!

Also the Harmons grocery store had what they called a "Los Angeles Pastrami" sandwich. I gagged on it. NOT pastrami....it was dry nasty roast beef! They didn't even have pastrami in their deli meat counter! How dare they try and pass off roast beef as pastrami??? Because they are MORONS!

When you ask for black coffee and they tell you they only have dark brown.

When you go out to eat and there is a toddler sitting next to you on a potty chair. ( See Thanksgiving Point)

hellonwheels Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When you go out to eat and there is a toddler
> sitting next to you on a potty chair. ( See
> Thanksgiving Point)

Oh my...PLEASE tell me that is a joke! Gag!

Nope! It was on ksl a few weeks ago! Pics and everything.

Here is a link to just one of the many articles about it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/05/potty-training-in-restaurant-_n_1858510.html

Be sure to get the reaction of what are likely two male LDS reporters (it is a ksl report after all) at the end



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2012 02:28AM by MJ.

When Pioneer Day (July 24th) is way bigger than July 4th.

Speed limits are just suggestions. Guns are more common than beer. The young women have "big hair." The young men have big trucks (compensating much? no, because they are big dicks). Chapels outnumber Seven Elevens. Lawns and driveways are littered with bright plastic toys. People don't have fences.

Culture means bacteria. Storefront mannikins are never left "nude." There's more gunfire in the boonies than there is downtown. Retail activity actually drops on Sunday. White shirts and ties are worn casually. People say, "Oh my heck!" or "Fam Damily." Robitussin is a party drug of choice.

You see houses that look more like duplex's. You wonder why they have more than one front door. Either that or there is a door in the center with the equivalent of a house on each side.

That's when it occurs to you you're in one of those strange little towns where polygamy really does exist. Very weird.

No lie.

Visited the Nazi-TBM-in-laws for vacation during Pioneer Day festivities one year (we flew 2,000 miles to get to Utah). MIL and I made a "quick" trip to the neighborhood grocery for food. All the neighbors were out in their front yards gardening, playing with kids, BBQing, and just generally enjoying the wonderful holiday weather.

Any ward member who happened to be outside in front of the house earned a quick curbside visit and chat from MIL. She'd roll down the window and be all friendly, introducing me as her DIL visiting from Florida (wooooo, cool). Folks were friendly and welcoming to me.

But the minute we pulled away, MIL would start harping on the fact that "so-and-so is not wearing their garments!" And if she was feeling particularly outraged, she'd fill me in on all of the neighbor's sins or personal family failings.

I. SWEAR. TO. GAWD. that was the beginning of my "apostacy." As a non-morridor convert, I was horrified by her judgmental attitude.

Made me wonder what *my* RS president was saying behind my back.

;o)