The original post for this made me wonder. Why is it that some Mormon women think it's ok to get breast implants but still look at tattoos as if they're an evil curse?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2012 11:49AM by liminal state.

Because when your tits point to heaven like this:
http://dmblood.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54f900c8e8833017615dfcb82970c-800wi

...it means you're more spirchul.

I was really hopeful clicking on that link. Now I am so disappointed. We can't be tempted unto total homosexuality through that.

Does this help?

http://doc-0c-8g-3dwarehouse.googleusercontent.com/3dwarehouse/secure/hhulr73hmmak89paul31eote4ben7ngk/0ea8c8j8jai9f93a539bslal98jce3r6/1349092800000/lt/*/ee9c6682cf5a6b0b116b18581e5b02f2?d=.jpg&ts=1268720359000&ctyp=other

I think a lot of Mormon women feel quite guilty getting breast augmentation - I believe there is a negative stigma, especially among other LDS women. However, that guilt is overcome by negative body images reinforced by the church culture's emphasis on outward appearances.

Why do you think Mormons are so hung up on outward appearances more so than the average person, though?

liminal state Wrote:
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> Why do you think Mormons are so hung up on outward
> appearances more so than the average person,
> though?


seems to me that their recruitment programs require people to focus on their appearance- the church is always talking about what impression to give outsiders. It is also another way for the church to police its own members and enforce strict conformity.

Women in the church have little value outside of appearance and procreation. Being raised to believe that your beauty (or sexual usefulness to a husband) is your main source of worth isn't something that wears off after you get hitched.

I totally agree with this. Your value as a woman in the church is your beauty and baby making skills. Awful.

And awesome FHE visual aides.

Because of the prosperity gospel. Your outward appearance being directly tied to your righteousness.

It's an interesting phenomenon I've noticed among LDS women my age. 2 extremes. You've got one group running 20 miles a day (not exaggerating), always on a diet, boob jobs, botox, perfectly primped and accessorized. The other group - hot mess. Overwhelmed frazzled, and overweight.

Both groups quite fond of the prescription drugs...namely Adderol and Xanax.

The disdain for one another is palatable. You can cut the tension at RS events with a knife. Instead of love and support you get judging. Both sides.

Isn't it marvelous? Glad to be out of there.

Fascinating. That seems to match my visual observations and anecdotes from TBM family members. What a nightmare:(

"Avoid the appearance of evil"

"We have to be missionaries by being a good example"

"If the gospel is not making you happy there is something wrong with you."

There is also the whole aspect of public shaming. No sacrament - no temple. Lot's of people lying about their "worthiness".

The whole culture of the LDS church is to look good at church and hide the real problems. It's about putting on a face of not doubting and acting like you are being blessed and are happy because of the gospel, even if you really aren't.

Ya know, getting a breast augmentation is not really a bad thing. I'm hoping the that most people who comment on this subjet (which comes up a lot here) don't mean to be judgmental and this is something to which I just can't stay silent about anymore because I live in Utah, I am not mormon, and I got a boob job!

Yep that's right I got one and I LOVE my new boobs. And there is a stigma involved in getting this done from mormons and nonmoromns alike.

I didn't get boobs to please anyone but myself. I hated my body. I hated the fact that my stomach stuck out more that my boobs did. I hated that when I bought clothing, in order to get a size that fit the rest of my body it hung over my chest like sack but if I got a size to fit my boobs it wouldn't fit over my stomach. (I am not overweight, I just have a baby pooch.) Most women who get them feel this way, whether they are moromon or not. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound bitchy, but it just really bugs me when people make snarky comments about boob jobs, I'm a little sensative I guess because I feel the disapproval from both sides. I could care less what they all think because as I stated before I love my boobs. I love feeling more confident about my body. But every now and then I get a little sensative about it! Sorry for the rant...
Carry on



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2012 12:30PM by dominikki.

I totally agree. My wife has been wanting a boob job for years and I never felt like I could support it as a TBM. Now that we are out, we are both excited and saving money for one. :) I think it will do wonders for her confidence and I will get to enjoy bigger boobs! Not seeing any negatives here.....

Oh I totally agree with you. I fully plan on getting a boobs job (this year) but for ME and no one else. Look, after nursing 2 babies, well, I'll spare the details but I just want to feel normal again.

I also get botox, because, I'm vain let's just be honest. But I just think it's sad when LDS women feel this bullshit pressure from the church because their appearance determines their value as a human being.

Hi dominikki. It's good to hear that you are happy with your decision and the results.

I still feel bad about the time that an exmo friend told me his (very attractive) wife was considering breast augmentation surgery. I blurted out that I thought it was shallow for someone to have plastic surgery only for appearance sake. I would have liked to take back my judgemental comment as my friend then said that his wife had had breasts but they disappeared after breastfeeding three kids. Those of us without kids or who have never breastfed or who fill out our clothing with curves without any effort on our part (God-given, genetics, luck, whatever) may not stop to imagine what it's like for others to wish their bodies were different for whatever reasons. It's not shallow to want to look good or feel sexy, I have come to realize.

As for exmos who may seem to mock or criticize women with boob jobs, I think it comes from their time as Mormons, being inculcated with the idea that tattoos are evil (and forbidden by Mormon leaders) and that more than one earring is not allowed, etc. I think their beef is that Mormon leaders micro-manage seemingly insignificant issues such as tiny tattoos or double earrings (up to and including stating that women with such obvious signs of "disobedience" are not fit marriage partners) and yet many Mormon women are having breast augmentation surgery, which is a much bigger deal, without any disapproval from above. So, Mormon leaders say rip out your earrings, sisters, but augment your boobage?

It's just another evidence of mind-numbingly inconsistent policies, irrational interference, and major sexism by top Mormon leaders.

I think that's the slant on it from most exmo posters on this board.

Meanwhile, enjoy your body! That is a concept that is not taught in Mormonism and it can take many ex-members a long while to become comfortable with the idea.

I say if you've got it, flaunt it, and if not, do something about it if you want to. And don't wait too long. Gravity and mortality are not our friends. :)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2012 12:46PM by Nightingale.

dominikki Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I didn't get boobs to please anyone but myself. I
> hated my body. I hated the fact that my stomach
> stuck out more that my boobs did. I hated that
> when I bought clothing, in order to get a size
> that fit the rest of my body it hung over my chest
> like sack but if I got a size to fit my boobs it
> wouldn't fit over my stomach. (I am not
> overweight, I just have a baby pooch.) Most women
> who get them feel this way, whether they are
> moromon or not. I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound
> bitchy, but it just really bugs me when people
> make snarky comments about boob jobs, I'm a little
> sensative I guess because I feel the disapproval
> from both sides. I could care less what they all
> think because as I stated before I love my boobs.
> I love feeling more confident about my body. But
> every now and then I get a little sensative about
> it! Sorry for the rant...
> Carry on

you didn't develop your feelings about your body independently of the society you grew up in. No one does.

I've done some horrible crap to myself in the name of appearance. really- stuff that probably is on par with surgery in terms of risk. I don't feel the need to defend any of it because I have accepted that I was doing the best I could at the time. I did what made sense and made the best decisions I could. I had no idea that there was an alternate way to feel about myself, and even if I had I doubt I would have seen it as an realistic option. I had not met any women who didn't totally loathe something about their own bodies so it seemed normal to me.

I suppose that is true goldenrule but it's not always the case either. My daycare provider and her sister, both young, beautiful TBM women, want boob jobs. Neither one of them want it because they feel pressure about their looks, they want them for they same reason I did, because they are flat as a pancake...seriously FLAT AS A PANCAKE, clothing is hard to shop for and it will make them feel better. Not to match someone elses ideals about how a woman should look but to match their own ideals about how they should look.

This is the reason I got them. I don't care what society thinks is the ideal look. I wanted boobs I got them. I didn't even go really big, I went from a negative A to a large C, although according to Victoria Secret I am a 32 DD (VS bras run SMALL) They really are not all that much bigger than the scilicone bra stuffers that I have used for 10 years to make me look like I have boobs!

dominikki Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I suppose that is true goldenrule but it's not
> always the case either. My daycare provider and
> her sister, both young, beautiful TBM women, want
> boob jobs. Neither one of them want it because
> they feel pressure about their looks, they want
> them for they same reason I did, because they are
> flat as a pancake...seriously FLAT AS A PANCAKE,
> clothing is hard to shop for and it will make them
> feel better. Not to match someone elses ideals
> about how a woman should look but to match their
> own ideals about how they should look.
>
> This is the reason I got them. I don't care what
> society thinks is the ideal look. I wanted boobs
> I got them. I didn't even go really big, I went
> from a negative A to a large C, although according
> to Victoria Secret I am a 32 DD (VS bras run
> SMALL) They really are not all that much bigger
> than the scilicone bra stuffers that I have used
> for 10 years to make me look like I have boobs!

is getting surgery a sensible solution to having a hard time buying clothes? especially when the majority of men have no breasts and manage to dress themselves anyway (and really, so do the majority of women who have flat chests)? Even if it were a good solution, do you really think the majority of women getting breast implants like their breasts a lot to begin with?

Its fun to think that society has no effect on who we are but its a ridiculous fantasy. Look into foot binding and try to come up with an argument that justifies getting a boob job but not breaking the bones of your feet to fit into a child's shoe. Its the same thing, the ideal look is just different. You wouldn't believe someone who said they broke the bones of their feet "for themselves" or because it was hard to shop for shoes otherwise, would you? There is virtually no reason to consider such a procedure unless you grow up in a culture that presents it as an attractive option. Maybe one or two people out of a million would have the thought to do that without being instructed previously.That doesn't make women who did that fools, it makes them women who grew up in a culture where it made sense to do that. That means the culture is crazy, not women.

Nothing is always the case. Just because you know 2 TBMs that that wasn't the reason for their boob jobs doesn't negate the underlying reason why Utah is #1 in breast aug. It is the same reason that state leads in depression among women as well. It is a symptom of the larger illness. There arr always exceptions but the larger point is the same.

You mentioned you are not a Mormon. Are you an exmo or nevermo?

I guess your right skeptifem...society does perpetuate the "look" and most people follow that. I guess I am offended by the thought that I am following scociety's dictates, even though I kind of did...it makes no scense I know! But the reason why I say that it offgends me to be put in that place is because it's not like I looked at a fashion magazine model and said "I want to be like her" I just wanted boobs.

And using men as an example of how easy it is to buy clothes is ridiculous, men's clothing is made differenly than women's clothing. The majority of women's clothing are made for curves. Yes I could waste time and money by either making my clothes my self and since I can't sew worth a damn I would have to have them specially made.

Bottom line, I never felt sexy before, it didn't matter that people (men) told me I was sexy I didn't feel it, there is that whole societything again, I like my new curves and the attitude people have against a woman who get's a breast augmentation just pisses me off.

And also, using the foot binding as an example is also rediculous. As FCD said, that was done to children not adults who made the choice.

Nightingale, you are right in your observations, and thank you for pointing that out to me, as that is a different way of looking at the subject...tattoos bad, second peircing bad, boob job, GREAT! It is stupid. But I don think that people need to be careful how they say things. We all do!

I am nevermo goldenrule, married to a mormon. I also grew up smack dab in the middle of the morridor and have been surrounded by mormons my entire life.

Nvmind.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2012 04:49PM by WinksWinks.

yes

Mine do nothing to enhaunce my DH career as I have never met his co-workers nor mine as only a few of my co-workers know I got them because I didn't brag about about it to anyone nor did I show them off. No one has ever seen my natural size, or lack thereof because I have always used those super uber silicone inserts from fredricks of hollywood! My new "real" fake boobs are just a little bit bigger than my old "fake" fake boobs!

It's a personal choice every woman must make fore herself. I like mine. I'm not ashamed of them and no one would look at me and "oh yeah, that chick has fake boobs!" They are well proportioned to my body and look completely natural.

sorry posted in the wrong spot :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2012 10:51AM by dominikki.

This is what it boils down to -- smiles versus scowls. I'm also in the flatiron club. If I'm just wearing a T-shirt and jeans (I don't really need to wear a bra -- tape and/or an elastic band with pasties will do) everyone scowls and stares and they keep looking to see what -- if anything -- is or is not there. If I use tape under my anthills to lift them up and use the super-uber-duper silicone inserts from Frederick's of Hollywood to mash them together to simulate cleavage, everyone smiles -- both men and women alike. Having those two round humps of flesh make a lot of difference.

I think there are some women who believe:

- they supplement their husband's career/earnings by being (appearing) to be the Trophy Wife to bosses, co-workers

- Boob jobs ARE A SIGN OF Success, even if they're financed (No One will KNOW!)

which leaves them in dire need of repair...

;-)

you're just replacing tired old Burnt Bosoms with brand new Pneumatic Pnockers.

:-)

+1 on skeptfem comment & others

Good looks and a good curvy figure can get a TBM girl far in the Mormon culture.

I've seen it. Some are brainwashed happy, some are unhappy in sex less - love less eternal marriages.

Ugh..