Posted by:
beyondashadow
(
)
Date: October 04, 2012 12:01AM
I told this joke to my mostly moron family at a family reunion campout at Duck Creek, Utah back in 1991. My source was a greeting card with this joke presented as a comic strip with drawings. The TBMs (including my parents) did not laugh. See what you think . . . (I heavily embellished the original joke for this post.)
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St. Peter was guarding the Pearly Gates, waiting for new souls coming to heaven. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go to the bathroom?"
What would Jesus do in this situation? "Well, sure!" replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?"
St. Peter explained, "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives - if they had children. Stuff like that. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven."
Jesus nodded, "Sounds easy enough. OK. Take as much time as you need in the bathroom."
So Jesus manned the gates for St. Peter. Everything was going OK. Jesus would ask the questions, make his decision, and then let the person thru the Pearly Gates or send them off to Hell. No problem.
St. Peter was gone quite a while, but Jesus didn't mind, having infinite patience and being eternally long suffering and all that. But after He had processed several hundred recently deceased souls, Jesus was starting to get a little bored with all the humdrum answers he was hearing. But then a wrinkled little old man approached the gate. There was something vaguely familiar about him. Jesus summoned him to sit down and sat across from him. Jesus peered at the old man and asked, "What did you do for a living?"
The old man replied, "I was a carpenter."
Jesus remembered his own earthly existence and leaned forward. "Did you have any family?" he asked.
The old man replied, "Yes, I had a son, but I lost him."
Jesus perked up even more, and looked even closer at the old man. "You lost your son? Can you tell me about him?"
The old carpenter explained, "Well, he had holes in his hands and feet."
Tears filled Jesus' eyes and His countenance lit up with a heavenly glow. He opened His arms wide and with His voice trembling with emotion, he cried out in joyful recognition, "Father?"
The old man raised his weary head, looked at Jesus's left hand, then his right hand, and then both feet. Overcome with emotion, the old carpenter immediately embraced Jesus with all his might as he cried out overflowing with joy and happiness, "Pinocchio!"