My husband and I took the day off to recover from the marathon. We decided we needed some pain reliever. The liquor store was closed(hello Colombus day), so we went to the grocery store to get some beer.

I find it hilarious the looks we got from Mormons(the day after conference, shame on us) and of course probably some non Mormons. I feel safe saying mostly Mormons because the percentage of Mormons in my city is around 75%.

Does anyone else do this when you buy certain things? Do you watch people's faces and laugh?

When I was in university, I was a TA for a prof who was VERY vocal about safe sex and dedicated a lecture to topic. This was mid-late 80s when this was all a bit new. The prof wanted to have free condoms to give away at the end of the lecture but had forgotten to bring her stash. The lecture was that afternoon so I was quickly given a handful of cash and sent to buy 'about a hundred condoms.' No problem.

I speed off to the pharmacy, grab a basket, find the condom section and start piling boxes of them into the basket. Ensuring to get various types.

Get to the cashier and the older lady starts ringing them through as I dig out my prof's cash to pay. Payment happens.

As I grab the bag to leave the cashier say, 'Excuse me miss, here's your receipt! ... oh, and miss... have a good weekend!' and gives me the cheekiest wink!

It hadn't even occurred to me what it looked like, me buying 100 condoms of various kinds in one go! haha!

Lmao, spaghetti oh the lil ol lady probably thought you were having an orgy ;-)

Just remember guys, anybody looking down their nose at you for something you're buying needs to get a life. I feel sorry for anyone who lives in Utah county. Oh ya I know, I've been there. If it weren't for all the prudes, it would be quite a lovely place. But most of the people really suck!

Fidget, the beer in the grocery stores, they're like 3% alcohol or something like that right? At least drink a real brew if you gotta get the treatment! If I ran a marathon, you can bet I'd be celebrating too ;-)

BTW, body language is fascinating. I saw a report that said communication is a whopping 90 something percent body language and some miniscule amount, is actually words...

I would be drinking vodka if it weren't a holiday lol.

25% words, the rest is body language and tone of voice.

That's awesome Haha

You started it telling slightly OT embarrassing purchases stories. Here's mine.

So I was a missionary living in a foursome (2 companionships in the same 2 bedroom apartment.)

One of the missionaries in the other companionship was sick and he wanted to talk to me - he called me while lying in his bed.

He tells me he is super sick and he needs an enema to be cured and begs me to go buy him one.

He said he already told his companion but he didn't want to go.

So anyway, me and his companion end up going to the grocery store to buy him an enema - neither of us having any experience with such things. (In retrospect we probably shouldn't have worn our shirts, ties & name tags to this particular outing.)

So you have this scene of 2 red faced missionaries standing in front of the feminine needs / douche shelf looking for an enema. Finally we spot a douche/enema combo and hesitantly pick it up. We stand around awkwardly for several minutes trying to get up the nerve to go to the checkout line and trying to convince the other person they are the one who needs to handle the transaction.

Ah memories.

----

Another fun thing to do is pay using a dollar coin. The can be especially entertaining if the cashier is a teenager. Sometimes they have this really perplexed look on their face where they aren't quite sure it is real money - having never seen one before, lol.

-----

To answer the initial post. I haven't really noticed much interest by cashiers here when I buy coffee. The only kinda weird one was when I checked out with coffee at the local gas station and the attendant was a TBM member of the ward (the wife of the new bishopric counselor.)

Hahaha oh come on bc..you know that enema was really for you :P

no, no, no, like I said I had a FRIEND who needed an enema...

Everyone _always_ has a _friend_ that needed it lol

Why didn't you just explain that you were buying the alcohol for a friend???

I nice 17 year old friend that couldn't buy it on their own...

Hahaha! I'm- literally- laughing -in -tears! bc, you poor thing!

What I wanna know is did your roommate need you to administer it too?

Hahahahaha I was curious about that too.

Once it crossed the threshold of the apartment door I had nothing more to do with it. He did recover completely the next day though.

He we a greenie and had a super muscular build - he literally did 500 pushups every morning.

It was kind shocking to have this huge tough muscular guy to be begging for an enema (he was very teddy bear personality wise though.)

Uh huh sure...

I had a friend whose Mother made fake flowers out of condoms, they looked kind of like weird African violets in a small flower pot when she was done. She made some to give to all her family for Christmas and bought out the local pharmacy supply in a town of 500 people...must have been a seven day wonder of gossip behind her back!

People get nervous when they see you picking out coffee creamer at the grocery store around here.

That's because coffee creamer is of the devil.

LOL! It's the jizz of Satan.

He uses the bathroom while I'm looking for a mountain dew. I go up to pay and he comes up behind me and asks the cashier lady if people really buy condoms from the machine in the bathroom.

She responds by laughing and says you would be surprised how many people are embarrassed to buy them from me when they are behind the counter.

I WANT TO GO TO UTAH JUST TO MAKE PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!

I keep hoping to run into someone when I'm buying something illicit, but no luck so far.

Go to the local Costco (Saturday?). Load your cart up with wine, beer and coffee. Wander around until you see a Mormon. Go up to them and say HI! How are you? I haven't seen you in ages! How are you doing?

They have a very hard time talking to you and doing an inventory of your cart. You can see the wheels turning.

I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it!!

As a former cashier I can tell you it is the most boring job ever. Alot of people were embarassed to buy condoms or ky or whatever. What you got to realize is that your'e like the 100th person in a day who came through my line buying personal products. One time it was funny because a lady came through my line buying vanilla coffee creamer. I told her "Oh this is so good in coffee." She told me quite rudely that it was for her hot chocolate she does not drink coffee. I normally would not comment on customers purchases and I picked the wrong customer to talk to.

Fun fact, condoms are the most shop lifted item, and it has nothing to do with price. A lot of people are just too embarrassed to purchase them.

I was at a drug store type store one day with a male friend. The woman in front of us had in her hands: a box of tampons, a fashion magazine, a bag of chips, and a container of chocolate ice cream.

Ladies, what does that tell you?

My friend, just being polite, motioned for her to get in line ahead of us, letting her go first. After she checked out, I whispered to my friend, "That was a good move, letting the chick with PMS go first. Smooth!" He looked at me all hruh? I explained that everything she purchased was indicative of a woman whose period just started: all comforting things. He claimed he hadn't noticed what she had in her hands, that he was just being polite. I told him that still made it a good deed. ;>)


Another amusing shopping anecdote:
My lover once called me and asked me to pick up condoms on my way over to his house. I stopped by the grocery store and decided I'm an adult and there is nothing wrong with buying condoms, so I didn't even try to buy anything else to hide the fact that I'm buying CONDOMS so I can have SEX. Psh, whatever, lots of people buy condoms. I refuse to be embarrassed about it. I toss my box o' condomy goodness down on the counter. Guy cashier bleeps them through and says to me, "Is there anything else you need today?" with a sort of leering grin. I winked at him and said, "Not from you, but thanks!" He laughed and said "Have a great night!" "Oh, I will now, thanks!" Good times.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/09/2012 10:00AM by dogzilla.

Try buying duct tape and sex lube on the same go, even if you are buying both for legitimate and separate reasons, and you have thirty other items in the cart, it will get noticed.

Hahahaha I'm going to do that next time