Posted by:
frogdogs
(
)
Date: October 08, 2012 06:05PM
Every time I think that being ex-mo for over 20 years means I'm good at defending my boundaries in a reasonable manner, something unexpected happens to remind me that I have far too much Sweet Spirit still lurking under the surface.
After a bad day at work I went to Starbucks and brought a book. On the drive there, I was really looking forward to some down time: relaxing with a cup of my favorite decaf (Sumatra) and enjoying zero demands upon my time or attention.
Coffee in hand I chose an outdoor table in an isolated location away from other customers, parked my butt and started reading.
Some random guy - normal looking/well dressed and groomed - then seated himself at table across from me and proceeded to insert his desire for attention into my down time. He started by asking what I was reading. I showed him the cover then said that my idea of relaxing after a hectic Monday is reading a book over a cup of starbucks. This polite shorthand for "I vant to be alone" has always worked before.
He didn't get the hint (or perhaps he did, but didn't think what I preferred was important). I did my level best to keep trying very pointedly to read but he kept talking at me.
He wanted me to hear about the following things: he's 'homeless' because of a minor inconvenience in his business travel plans, he's in love with his new macbook pro, he has some very specific thoughts on what time his friends might return from Miami tonight and how that will affect his schedule, and even though he and his girlfriend own a gigantic home nearby, they're taking a break from their relationship, followed by musings on whether and when he should upgrade to the iPhone 5.
I had closed my book. When he actually stopped for a breath I began to respond since it would've been too rude to really, truly ignore him and keep reading.
His cell phone rang and he actually held up a finger to alert me that he was putting me on hold to answer the call -- interrupting me mid sentence. My radar said "just leave now - nobody should put up with this" but like a chump I stuck around.
His responses on the phone made it clear that the call wasn't important. I had re-opened my book even though at that point it was impossible for me to focus. From what I couldn't help but overhear, I became certain that he was going to take off while he was still on the phone or shortly thereafter, so I could get on with my down time.
He hung up and without apology launched into another dry monologue as if he really expected me to stop reading and attend to his musings after he took me off hold.
I kept my responses very short and civil, kept my book open, and thought to myself 'surely he's about to leave'. He didn't.
For a second time, I was speaking while he held up that g-dmned finger and took another call on his cell. At that point I was angry, but curious to see how far he was going to push me.
After he got off the 2nd phone call, he started talking at yet me again. Right when I was thinking I'd never escape, the 3rd call comes in.
The instant he held up the "hold on" index finger, I calmly gathered my things and left.
There are times when I really wonder if my sweet spirit will ever grow a pair. I also wonder if guys like that are doing it on purpose, to see how far they can push around and dominate someone before they either tell them to f off or leave.
I still can't decide if he was just incredibly clueless and used to being catered to, or playing a sick game with me.