Good thing I wasn't too drunk because the missionaries decided to pop by unannounced.

Now, before I continue the story, I would rather that this not devolve into an argument as to whether or not I should have even let them in. I frankly don't give a shit what other people have as a policy towards missionaries. They can come in my house and we can visit, but I'm very clear on the rules. No preaching.

My house, my rules. What the rest of you do is your business-- and if it differs from mine--good for you.

And we had a very nice visit actually. We talked about their plans after their missions. Why they should take secular education very seriously. Their futures.

These were nice boys, and they were respectful. No preaching, no prayers, but it was nice to be able to talk about what life will be like in the "real world" when they are done, and that there is nothing wrong with them trying to figure how to be "normal" again once they go home.

And if they stop by again, I think we'll have another nice visit about not getting married on a whim because everyone tells you that you should.

There are two separate points of view for dealing with mishies.

Some exmos want to help the mishies. That's commendable.

Others want to establish a wider boundry and protect their space. That's fine too. Catering to mishies is a choice, not a moral requirment.

Well done. I especially like the idea of telling them not to marry immediately upon thier return as they are instructed to do by Mormon leaders. You are right to show them that normal talk is quite enjoyable. It isn't required that you bring up Mormonism in every conversation.

How nice raptorjesus, we long for that kind of opportunity.
Since we resigned from the cult everyone has been told to stay away from us.

We live in hope that things will change with time.

We are normal and would like to show that we can have a normal everyday chat with anyone.

I know what you mean. We have been put on the stay away list also. A lot of that came about because I was pretty solid in my un-testimony, always willing to press the evidence when they attacked us.

So in one way it's nice to have nobody hassle us, but on the other hand it is hard to be a leper.

I would actually like the missionaries to stop by--I'd like a chance to invite them in, fix them a snack, have a nice chat, and give them a break from the constant rejection they must get.

I can't help but look at them and think about how that's some other mother's son...they seem so young and sweet to me.

Unfortunately the one time they did ring the doorbell, it was at about 7:30 pm and I was up to my elbows in bathing kids and finishing dinner dishes. Plus my husband answered the door and kindly but firmly sent them on their way.

Do they ever ring doorbells during the day, or would it look too improper to be alone with housewives? [Maybe I've seen too many, ahem, movies ;) ]

readthissomewhere Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I would actually like the missionaries to stop
> by--I'd like a chance to invite them in, fix them
> a snack, have a nice chat, and give them a break
> from the constant rejection they must get.
>
> I can't help but look at them and think about how
> that's some other mother's son...they seem so
> young and sweet to me.
>
> Unfortunately the one time they did ring the
> doorbell, it was at about 7:30 pm and I was up to
> my elbows in bathing kids and finishing dinner
> dishes. Plus my husband answered the door and
> kindly but firmly sent them on their way.
>
> Do they ever ring doorbells during the day, or
> would it look too improper to be alone with
> housewives?


Were they to drop by my humble apartment tonight or tomorrow, I'd probably offer to cook them something HOT. If I don't have to work tomorrow, I'll be making cornbread for a New Year's Eve party (the host specifically asked for homemade stuff), so they'd be getting a big whiff of cooking.

Plus, I can do wonders with a wok and peppers and sriracha and gochujang and ponzu and . . . WHOOPS!! I'm making myself hungry!

Everyone here knows the rules. You must now wear the shame robes until you drink the rest of your tea.

I used to live in town, in the early 1990s, and I had a set of mishies and I let them in with the same house rules you have, no message or prayer. They just sat and watched the first game of the NBA playoffs with me and talked. Low and behold 2 nights later they showed up again, just about tipoff time for the next Jazz game. They kept showing up until the Jazz got put out of the playoffs. Never saw em again after that...

I live out in the country now, and have 4 dogs that have to stay in my 3 acre fence around my house. The Mishies decided to ignore the fence, gate, and dogs, and left a paphlet on my door while i was gone. My 2 female dogs have some territory issues, and I have to give them prozac to keep them from fighting when they get too excited. I had to call the bishop and put myself on the no contact list, to protect my dogs and the mishies from injury. I still have been known to stop and give them a ride home if they are out in a rainstorm.

If anyone understands missionaries it's former Mormons.
I don't accept any preaching or prayers either. But we can be polite, kind, gracious hosts to our welcomed guests.

Being kind to missionaries is the right thing to do IMO because they are victims too and because it really messes with their minds. Of course, if the missionaries took advantage of that, I'd have shown them the door but sounds like yours were very respectful. Considering how many RMs go inactive nowadays, I see them as potential converts too. Except I wouldn't push them - I'd just be nice and hopeful.

It's rather like feeding raccoons you see out side your door... gee they are cute aren't they? Who could they possibly harm,... let's feed them. Well, seeeeee they didn't bite us... ( let's just hope they won't spread the mormon plague around - After all we won't catch it,- who cares if they infect other innocent bystanders). They are sooooo cute.... pleez come back next week little mischies ! we'll have some nice food and chat again for you !
Personally, I'll take Cheryls approach- hose them all , if they are so harmless God will know His own !

raccoons are cuter ;-) - but their table manners are similar. during my really long life i had many guests in my house, but i was really shocked about the mess ('food-wise') some missionaries left on and under the table (around their feed lot ;-)) ... raccoons couldn't top that :-)

http://www.youtube.com/user/MoaMolly#p/u/1/viA9iy054kE

You go right on feeding the raccoons Raptor, and may I say that is very Christian of you. Some of us go through all the trouble of getting on "no contact" lists and and have it out with the bishop over the surprise visit and love-bombings, but you keep feeding them,,,you may be better than the rest of us and we know God loves you for it. Let's make their Mission experience as comfortable as we can, maybe they'll want to extend for another two years if we all have them in for afternoon tea and cookies.... But pleeez, no preaching boyz... just enjoy, maybe you can be like us someday ! Come back next week when my teenage daughters are home, just don't preach around them or I'll have to take your Dorito's priveleges away.
You are a far better Christian than I..... hosing them might wake them up faster than pumping full of See's candy and NBA playoff's !

But people are people. You want to hose them down like animals, good for you. But guess who strengthens their testimonies? You and your hoses. Your seige mentality proves in their twisted minds that they are right.

My house, my rules. Hose them down on your property. Has nothing to do with the zombie god.

No one can control or read their minds.

So we have to run our lives based on something else. If it's a priority to sow seeds, that's fine.

If it's a priority to separate from mormons who show up, that's a valid boundary.

Anyone is wrong who claims that everyone **must** cater to mormon missionaries. We don't owe them anything more than we owe any other person walking down the street.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 08:51AM by raptorjesus.

You're suggesting that mishies are more human than I am or that *my* house rules are less valid than yours.

Anyone who comes onto ****my**** property with full knowledge that they are NOT welcome, then refuses to leave when told does not deserve the kid glove treatment. If it happens again, they'll spend the night in jail.

I have more rights in my home than any uninvied religious fanatic, mormon or otherwise.

A nineteen is not cute and isn't a child. If they're old enough to procreate, marry, and join the military, they're old enough to follow trespassing laws.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 08:53AM by Cheryl.

I said. I don't give a shit what you do in your house. And I dont. I really don't. That's also why I said that I didn't want this thread to devolve into this argument. Because you cam do what you want.

I just don't appreciate them being compared to wild animals. Which is exactly what you DIDNT say. You set your boundaries. I'll set mine.

You say you don't care what I do, except that what I do in your words is to treat missionaries "like animals." Sorry, but that makes no sense.

I live in the woods near a wildlife reserve and many foxes, turkeys, geese, raccoons, deer and an occasional bobcat come into my yard. I can wave my arms and tell them forcefully to leave and it works.

What doesn't work with missionaries does work with animals.

I didn't claim you said they were animals, because you didn't. That part was for the racoon guy. Yours was about "must" that no one is using.

But I did say, that I didn't want this thread to go this direction so thanks for hijacking.

I know that you can post where and when you want, but it didn't stop you.

You want to hose missionaries down? Fine. That's not what this thread was about.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 09:25AM by raptorjesus.

You don't own this site or any of the threads, including this one.

But I thought I'd set some boundaries.

Seems now that you are the one who has problems with people who do things differently than you would. Seems that you feel people "must" treat the missionaries the way you would.

And although you might know how many mishies think, you obviously have no right to claim to know what I think. I'm done with you.

I had an encounter with 2 sister missionaries several months ago. I invited them in and offered them some water and a snack. We had a nice chat and they commented on how nice I kept my home and my beautiful kids, blah, blah.

Anyway, I told them I had to be going as I had work to do. They inquired as to what I do and I told them I had my law degree and about my business. They seemed surprised and fascinated and wanted to know all about going to law school. All the talk about law school eventually led to talk about my apostasy.

No religious talk. No preaching. No prayers. Just normal conversation. DH and I even took them out to dinner to continue the conversation. I told them to get their educations and pursue their dreams. I hope I planted a seed.

I'm always kind to the mishies, even the arrogant pricks (unless they're asking to be put in their place).

Being nasty to them only confirms what they've been told to fear about apostates.

My mission ruined my health, but it was kindness in unsuspecting places that would spark thoughts later on.

These are children who've mostly been brought up their whole lives with the notion that this sacrifice is the only way to please their god that doesn't exist.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 01:40AM by raptorjesus.

I've always felt protective of those boys. They are kids. That feeling for them didn't change just because I no longer believe.

and normal conversation. I too wouldn't turn them away if the wanted a meal and some conversation.

We often craved chances to not be missionaries for a while, to just be normal. Maybe that's why the missionaries drop by your place, RJ.

I see it like you do Raptor. I'm a people person, and I like talking to people. I like seeing how they view the world, and I like sharing how I do.

When I first stopped going to church, they made and appointment and came to see me a few times. I go further than you, and let them preach and pray. But they also get my version of the lies the church tells etc.

I like seeing how cognitive dissonance works on them in real time. Most of what I say bounces off them and they make comments like, "that probably comes from an anti-mormon site" to make it stop bothering them and wash it off their minds. I like watching the process.

I think they were forbidden to come and see me, they've never called again. We had long discussions about the problems with church lies, and perhaps they went back and asked too many questions of the pres.

Unfortunately (in this case) I live in a secure building. They can't get in it without calling me, so they'll never just happen to come by as they cover a neighborhood.

If someone else doesn't enjoy doing what I do, that's fine with me. It sounds like they probably see my visit as a huge annoyance in their day, and I see what they do as a missed opportunity to have a hell of a conversation. We can like different things.