Tiptoes, librarian and I went downtown today on a break from our sessions at the Exmormon Conference. Our destination - City Creek Mall, our question: what in God's name is here that's worth 5-8 Billion dollars???

To start with, security is everywhere and obvious. They are dressed like Canadian Mounties without the horse. Round hats and an overly helpful attitude. I say overly because I commented that the design of the granite walkways reminded me of the Machu Picchu drainage system, which prompted the mountie's response:

"I visited Chichen Itza last year and saw where they held the games. The sun shone in one hole for the beginning and when it shone in another one, the game was over. They would lay the loser out on a reclining naked woman statue, slit their throats and let their blood flow before they consumed them. Yes, they ate them!"

I backed away slowly, "Thanks for the TMI."

There was a nice crowd there on a Saturday, just a normal assortment of families, travelers, kids, teens, an errant skateboarder, just what you would see at any mall in America. Then we arrived at a blue stone map kiosk. Next to the "You Are Here" were the Rules. It was a Rosetta Stone of rules, going on and on, covering your dress, your speech, where you are sitting/standing, how you are sitting/standing and whether or not you are classified as an obstruction (decision made solely by mall security). It was far longer than the Ten Commandments.

I noticed that ALL of the high-end stores were empty except Tiffany's which had a looky-loo area and then an inner sanctum which was peekable from the outside. There was one strangely dressed, hatted couple in there looking like they could actually make a purchase.

We could not imagine what the billions was for except maybe for hidden machinery operating the slide-back dome, which the mountie described to us proudly in detail as to its coverage and functions. It might have been his idea, that's how proud he was.

The Apologie store had a hanging rock window display that was quite unusual and attractive. They hung rounded river rocks on kite string from the ceiling one at a time and formed a tunnel in which some object that was for sale was on display, lighted. The rock framing was so unique I don't remember what the product was (i.e. Fail).

We had free tea samples and I asked the server why they were serving tea when Mormons have the whole Word of Wisdom ban on tea. He answered quite promptly, "Mormons LOVE herbal tea, that's what this is--totally herbal and in complete compliance."

The surrounding streets were conspicuously empty for a Saturday night in an urban American city.

Now for the big Reveal: There is NO Neiman Marcus, so that's an urban myth or a plan which was canceled. Macy's and Nordstrum. That's it. And there are plenty of empty store fronts, mostly on the first floor, at least five there and a couple on the higher level. Deseret Book was huge, still publishing the same book with a different GA's name and title on it, but there has not been a new idea in a Mormon GA Book since Joseph Smith invented viagra.

ANagrammy in Salt Lake

So what were the rules on dress like?

Nothing too revealing, nothing too seedy, nothing that "would not be in keeping with a first-rate family shopping experience."

I forgot to mention we also scouted out the much-discussed condos. While waiting in front of Deseret Book for our shuttle back to the hotel, we counted nine premium big-window view units overlooking the temple. Five of them were occupied.

This looked to be the right percentage of vacancy for the rest of the building as well.

Anagrammy

Well that description is open to interpretation...

Not only is it open to interpretation, it would probably make for a fun project. Purchase a skimpy (as interpreted through the eyes of a TBM, not what would be considered skimpy to the rest of the world) sundress from one of their retailers, and wear it, see if it passes the test. If it doesn't, being thrown out of a mall for wearing a dress purchased at one of the mall's shops would make for an interesting story.

Only the mormons could spend $5-8 billion on something so BORING!

Did they think the world would flock to their bizarre bazaar like a flock of eager seagulls?

(secretly hoping they lose every penny they sunk into it...)

There has been at least some flocking towards the mall. The Gateway is going broke because of the new mall. People are shopping at City Creek now.

I was there. My impression was that the materials used to construct the mall were all top shelf products. They did not use anything that wasn't of the highest quality. Clearly, the bid process did not favor the lowest bidder, nor did the term 'value engineering' ever get uttered in their planning meetings.

I had to laugh when I saw that all of the bronze caps for the fire dept connections were all stolen and likely sold for scrap by the bums that hang out downtown. Most public connections have plastic caps to thwart theft, but, no, not the great and spacious mall...

It is easy to spend maximum dollars when the materials are the most expensive available.

csuprovostudent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was there. My impression was that the materials
> used to construct the mall were all top shelf
> products. They did not use anything that wasn't
> of the highest quality. Clearly, the bid process
> did not favor the lowest bidder, nor did the term
> 'value engineering' ever get uttered in their
> planning meetings.
>
> I had to laugh when I saw that all of the bronze
> caps for the fire dept connections were all stolen
> and likely sold for scrap by the bums that hang
> out downtown. Most public connections have
> plastic caps to thwart theft, but, no, not the
> great and spacious mall...
>
> It is easy to spend maximum dollars when the
> materials are the most expensive available.


Recently (not sure where now) I read that B.Young denied mining rights in Utah under the prophetic order that they would some day need to materials to build Zion.


haha, it sounds like the Mall is Zion!

They likely don't care if they lose money or not.
It's all vanity to impress and after-all they have a never ending amount of tithers to credit any income loss there.

Five billion. I think this rivals Boss Tweed's New York County Courthouse for some sort of kickback/graft stuff. Or, like was said, they wanted the "very best." When you say that, there's scores of contractors who know what that means. They think just like the Rodeo Drive merchants who equate quality with price only. What we have here is a temple dedicated to the marriage of religion and capitalism.. something that personifies the Mormon church.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2012 04:35PM by rationalguy.

What in Gods name is here that's worth.....My time, energy, and money.


Those would have been the words out of my mouth if I went to a sacrament meeting or a temple session.

They're right about one thing. Mormonism is the same every where you go, even the mall.

Why would I go to City Creek when the Gateway Mall is just down the way? At least they have a Starbucks.

"They are dressed like Canadian Mounties without the horse."

Haha, I love it! Perfect description.

I never thought about it before, but you are right, it doesn't look like it cost billions of dollars to build. I wonder what the money went towards.

I wonder how many of the 5 condos were staged to look like they are actually occupied? Just because the lights were on, doesn't mean anyone is home. They could quite possibly be, just keeping up appearances.

I have two malls much closer and both are open on Sunday and have free parking.

I predict the Jesus Mall will be here - deadmalls.com.

Five years, tops...

Lenscrafters?

Zagg?

Yankee Candle?

They built a $5 billion mall for Lenscrafters?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2012 12:50AM by John_Lyle.