We very seldom enter an LDS church anymore. Only the occasional wedding reception or viewing/funeral. I thought receptions haven't been too bad because we can be in and out and just in the gym area.

Well we attended a viewing last Friday evening. Oh, my hell. Just the smell. Now that we've been out of it for so long, LDS churches are just so creepy to us.

We went to the viewing to see relatives who were in town that we hadn't seen for a few years. I think they expected us to go the the funeral in the same church on Saturday and we couldn't make ourselves do it. We couldn't sit there in that damn creepy place for 2 hours or more. So we just attended the grave side service. That wasn't so bad, but of course the dedication prayer reeked of the Mormon stench.

We're already dreading the next one, whenever it may be.

I didn't enter a mormon wardhouse for about thirty years after leaving the morg. Then I went to two of them only to attend my grandmother's and father's funerals.

lol I know exactly what you mean. I had the pleasure of visiting a church meetinghouse twice this year for the first time in 20+ years. I had forgotten how boring they are. I had no trouble finding things though since they are almost exactly the same no matter where you are! My nevermo daughter was creeped out that we were in a room with a door that said "baptismal font" or however they word it. I had explained to her beforehand what that was and she just thought it was so weird. We attended both a funeral viewing and then a wedding in that same damn room. And don't get me started on the architectural greatness of the "cultural" hall.

Ah! That bracing scent of stale baby pee, spit-soggy Cheerios® and un-cleanable polyester suits that should have been recycled into better-grade plastic products decades ago!

Sometimes, if one lingers long at the sacrament table, one may catch a frisson of Wonder® Bread preservatives and teenager farts - it is the manifestation of the Aaronic Priesthood!

Who could ever forget passing by the ladies room after Sister Gabby Hawgg has refreshed herself? No feminine hygiene spray can compete with the eye-watering remains of last night's chili overlaid with highlights of friction-ignited pantyhose & garment fabric.

And the less said about the general vicinity of the men's room, the better.

All in all, an olfactory overflowing of the spirit, as it were.

So funny! So true.

Wow...I can't even. That was amazing. You described every LDS church I've ever been in perfectly. Bravo.

LMAO!

On Saturday I was in Ft. Pierce, FL. As I was driving along Okeechobee, I spotted a small building with eerily familiar architecture crouched threateningly on the side of the road up ahead.

I was alone inside my car so as I passed the first ward house I've knowingly driven past in nearly a decade, I took a deep breath and vented my terror with a frightful wail of anguish.

When I arrived home safely a few hours later, my neighbors had hung upside down from their spider-webbed tree several well-cocooned, large victims that may or may not include one of my other neighbors. Hard to tell, though one still has a familiar looking cowboy hat underneath his cocoon.

I shrugged. Next to the brown bricked house of horrors, being the next item on some freakishly large spider's dinner menu seemed pretty tame to me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2012 05:22PM by frogdogs.

They're creepy, especially in Utah where there are two on every block. Its constantly in your face. A constant reminder. Proximity and dominance! Not to mention multiple temples. I can see 3 temples right now! from my office! I can also see about 8 to 10 ward building steeples. NOW THAT'S CREEPY!!!

compared to the other churches I've visited (mostly Mennonite),
LDS buildings are STERILE; they're almost Completely Devoid of ANY personality.

that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Yes, this. I will remember their scent as long as I live and I don't recall any of the hilarious stuff xyz said. They mostly just smell completely sterile as if there is no life in them. Because there isn't.

Yes. And actually, I don't think I could ever enter one ever again. Too many bad memories. I'm kind of worried about that with the upcoming baptisms of my bazillion nieces and nephews. I guess I will just wait outside, or drop by a gift later. Or before...

Just the thought of going into a morg palace makes me shudder...

I feel the same. I'm already wondering what to do when some of my older relatives start kicking the bucket. I just don't think I can do a funeral in one of the stinky buildings. I'll probably just show up for the viewing and shock the family by not attending the funeral.

Yes, the smell is something you never forget. Either it smells like 100 dirty diapers mixed with cheerios ground into the carpet, or an old lady wearing way too much perfume.

Actually, I don't know if there is a difference between the two, but those are the most obvious.

I have a hard time stepping foot into ANY church...

Yes, even my nevermo mom said she was creeped out by attending baptisms of step grandchildren. I just consider myself fortunate that I wasn't visiting her at the time as I might have had to see that as well.

The smell is something I remember when I slipped my resignation confirmation letter under someone who claimed to be the bishop's door, and it helped that I had coffee with me at the time. Yes, I defiled the building with the evil bean.

I know what you mean about the smell! I swear, if I was taken into a church blindfolded, (without being told it was an LDS church) I would be able to tell anyway. It's like a mix of old sweat, old lady perfume, and...crayons. Maybe some chalk in the older ones :P

And the hallways...I've memories of running around in the dark as a little kid. Now I can't even walk down a well lit one without thinking I saw Thomas Monson's pug mug staring at me through the door windows...

Good thread for halloween! :D

I don't find them creepy but rather boring, uninspired and all alike.

Exactly. To me, LDS churches have always been excruciatingly boring places. They could use some creepiness! It would at least make the place somewhat interesting!

LOL

I visited my parents several years ago and since I knew I would be there on a Sunday I brought a skirt and went to church with them. Hadn't been in a Mo church building in about 6 years and haven't been in one since. This was the ward I grew up in. It was where I'd spent hundreds of hours of my life. It WAS my life for so long. I thought it would be kind of nostalgic being in that building. Everyone was nice and there were a few people that it was nice to see. But there were no pangs of nostalgia at all. It just felt so cold and sterile and lifeless. No signs that anyone not off the assembly line worshipped there. It was like the world in the movie "pleasantville." The black and white one. No color, no colorful people. I felt very sad thinking of the world I missed while I was doing time under that roof.

(another Odor comment)

Janitorial contractors often offer a Freshner product for placement in business (restaurants, other) "Rest Rooms" (do people Rest there???) because they know that certain odors are a message of Cleanliness.

I wonder sometimes in upscale establishments if those dispensers are hidden because this is common knowledge that some consider them a 'substitute' for Actual Cleanliness.

then the question: Does LDS Inc ever do this? (bathrooms, 'Mothers' rooms?) I think most of them require a 110V outlet nearby to actuate them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2012 10:27PM by guynoirprivateeye.

They do smell badly. Too many little boys weeing on the floor, probably. And old men, too, for that matter. (Like in the temple when you go to use the urinal and find that unsteady old men had missed their mark. Eew.)

When I was in the East (world East, not East USA) places of worship had the wonderful smell of incense. Can we start that?