I wrote this post before Christmas but it got stuck in a queue and just recently made it out alive. It's my response to someone's comment about hungry missionaries on another thread from a few weeks back. I witnessed this too, as the rules about feeding missionaries became more rigid in my area (no members allowed to feed mishies unless they also invited a prospective investigator; mishies could only stay one hour, and even if dinner hadn't been served or completed in that time period they had to leave, etc). Cost of living is high here and I know for a fact that missionaries didn't have a big enough budget to cover food each month, especially if there were three in one companionship. I knew of several companionships where the mishies had many hungry days in any given month. What kind of church, I wondered and fretted at the time, would see their missionaries go hungry? (Or any fellow human, come to that).

I witnessed ongoing food deprivation and physical/mental health issues not looked after such that I drove missionaries to medical appointments myself (even when I had to pay the MD and lab bills myself on one occasion, and when I had to contact a specialist for advice on another) as well as occurrences in companionships that I considered to be obvious "domestic abuse". The latter were denied and ignored by the MP I appealed to about it (such that he wouldn't even consider transferring the victimized sister mish in one case and in fact left her there for an extra month, and such that I had to contact the ZL and set up an underground railway-type safety net for more than one area, breaking rules to call and keep in touch with mishies out of my area).

After this, it was impossible for me to respect church leaders, local and afar, their damn stupid missionary program, or their approach to "Christianity". ("...When I was hungry did you not feed me...?").

It is a part of my Mormon interlude that still haunts me and I kick myself for not doing more to address it. I can still see the disillusionment and sadness and even despair on the faces of some of the suffering missionaries who undoubtedly must have asked themselves why their church exposed them to such harsh and negative experiences, if their parents knew what it was like, how they were going to get through it and make it home safely, and other haunting questions about the need to go through unnecessary suffering like this (such as the mish who left his face on the roadway in a bike accident and was afraid to go to Emerg - the prevailing philosophy in this mission field was you have to just suck it up - whatever "it" is - and including a sis mish who was literally being physically abused by her comp. Instead of defending herself or appealing for help, she believed it was a trial of her faith and she just had to "endure to the end". NB - it's tough to help people with such a mindset).

If anyone wants to see the dysfunction of Mormonism up close and personal, get to know a few missionaries. (And I'm in an affluent area in a peaceful, democratic country - I cannot even begin to imagine the harsh reality of missions in South America and Eastern Europe, etc).

My delayed post on this is as follows:

imalive said:
"...it ...ticks me off about how my local missionaries have to go to a food bank just for bread and other basic grocery items..."

Pardon me? How can it be justified to send missionaries out into the world without the means to look after themselves? It's not right that they should have to resort to community resources, meant for citizens living in poverty, to provide themselves with the basics. Are you serious that mishies in your area have to get bread from a food bank? The optics are SO BAD for the Mormon Church.

But why am I surprised. They do seem to trip over their own feet many times more than should be necessary for them to see reality.

In non-mo churches, missionaries may save ahead for missions they are planning and/or the congregation actively supports its missionaries (true enough, there are usually fewer than in mo churches, where every teen male is expected to be mission-bound). Congregations also support the purpose of the mission, which can be to dig wells, construct homes, teach, feed, etc. If you can't go or you choose to do other projects, you can still support and participate by donations.

Does that not make a lot more sense? Pay your own way and don't impose on resources in your host community? What does it say about a church, its representatives, its message and the mission itself if Boyz in Suits are lining up at the local food bank, along with families truly in need?


Reference thread:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,49161



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2011 04:42PM by Nightingale.

Sponging off the community? Sure, all part of the Lard's work.

I see those kids at my church food pantry--they disguise themselves but I have 'morgdar' . . . they're a little too clean cut and a little too shame faced to really fit in among the unwashed and the desperate and we Catholics never turn anyone away. For any reason. Period.

My issue is that these boys pay for the 'honor' of being missionaries. Where in God's name is that money going--the money their parents are making sacrifices to fork over?

Thirty years gone and I still can't get used to that bullshit.

but you know whats the worst?
The minute the MP finds out about it he will impose a rule in his mission that Missionaries must not solicit for food at food banks. If it is escalated to the area presidency that rule will be put in place beyond that area of even nation wide.
Because one thing is certain, the public reputation of the church must be protected.

Most of these mishies come from homes where the parents can and do provide for their children. Then they send these guys off without proper resources and don't allow them to earn money because they assume someone else will take care of them.

How unethical and irresponsible of all of the mormons involved, the parents, the church officials, the home ward, the wards where the mishies are assigned, as well as the missionaries themselves.

i just talked to a friend who's son is on a mission. she said he is losing weight because he is not eating as much. she thinks this is good.- he was a little overweight when he left, i think. i mentioned that mishies only get 130 a month for food and she said he is not in south america, so she doesn't have to worry about him not having enuf food to eat. i wonder if he is telling his parents what is going on out there. or is this just a badge of honor for the mishies to starve for the lord?

Bleed the beast like some of their polygamous coreligionists have learned to do. Perhaps the Sisters can turn tricks for food. After all, money's tight for the One True Church.

that we weren't on a Top Ramen diet by the end. And I was getting extra money from my parents EVERY MONTH. I lived in Downtown Tokyo and the church expected us to make it on $250 a month. Absurd and cruel.

around in the Houston heat in ties in neighborhoods where the level of education guarranteed there would be no converts was dirty pool. . . knowing they aren't eating well has just added to my lack of respect.

Is there anything the Morg are doing during missions that does not drive away members? The true miracle of Mormonism is that mishies return home with their faith intact!

partly because of the lack of money to buy decent food and partly because of the stress. That was the last straw for me. We were told not to take extra money from home because it wasn't fair to other missionaries whose parents couldn't afford to supplement their incomes with "luxuries" (like food presumably). But no matter what sacrifices my little TBM heart was willing to make for the "true" church, I was not willing to go home bald. So I started writing checks on my account back home - an extra $100 a month on top of the $140 they gave us for food, stockings, shoe repair, bus fair, feminine products, shampoo etc. I used it for protein drinks and meat but my hair still fell out in chunks, the size of a baby's pigtail every single time I showered. It wasn't til I got home it slowed down and it took MONTHS before it returned to normal amount of fallout and the hair grew back. I never went bald but I had very, very thin hair, like a little old lady, but I was in my 20s.

I'm sure the "church" would find a way to blame me, not managing my money properly or lining up enough member meals. It's disgusting how the church treats their missionaries. A mission is just a training ground to set the missionary up for a lifetime of abuse.

CA girl, you need to write a book!

What about the lousy excuses disguised as Bishops who refuse to let a member have a food order? I can remember times that I went 3 days without eating. It sucked! I drank as much water as I could stand to try to not be hungry. My mom who was a never mo said if she had known what was going on in UT then she would have driven out there to get me. I was too ashamed to tell my folks that I had NO food to eat, and that I had been living without heat for over a year in a dumpy trailer that shoulda been condemned. Did I mention that the roof was also collapsing in on itself? The bishop was a real jerk and told me that since I couldn't pay a FULL tithe (I was giving what I could), then he wouldn't help me with food or heat. I was working for straight commission wages at the time so it was usually feast or famine. More often than not it was famine. I guess all that bad stuff had to happen in order for me to wise up and realise that this is NOT how a real church treats its members.

Any of you out there? I hear the jokes about how the more stooges you convert the cuter your wife will be.

Do TBM teeny-boppers get turned on by the "sacrifices" of starving mishies?

(I am a never-mo so keep that in mind when you answer. I may need more of an explanation than a BIC.)

Pay Lay Alol

We used to go to a food hand out event -- a member worked for a local supermarket and would hand out old frozen bread to those in need. The elders were invited. I never thought how wrong it was (and how hungry I was) until I read this post. Repressed memory?

Is this really true? This shocks me. I always thought they were well cared for. Food banks? Not that I don't believe it, just that it wouldn't occur to me that this was the case.

Are they allowed to accept invitations to dinner from nonmembers if there's zero chance the host will wind up joining the church? If they are, and if they accepted an invite to stop by for a meal with my family, would they then pester me until the end of their mission with trying to convert us?

Yes, I find this upsetting also. It makes me want to go out and buy them some food or a coat or whatever. Especially the clean cut, shame faced comment about hiding who they are to get food. And the hair falling out didn't help me feel any better.

So my mom would take the missionaries a box of misc supplies and food once a month. Things like tp, laundry soap, shampoo (if they'd tell her what kind they liked), paper towels plus she'd pick up some milk, cereal, cookies, popcorn, fruit etc. Stuff they could snack on late at night without too much trouble. She said it really didn't cost much more than making dinner for them and it was a lot easier than cleaning her house and rearranging her schedule. I'm sure they appreciated having these expenses taken off their budget and Dad was happy to not be pestered. Although he always said he hated to waste the missionaries time ;). But then they started living with members and she said they didn't need the supplies any more because the members they lived with took care of things. I don't know if the members get stuck with the incidentals in every case or if the missionaries in her town just happen to live with well-to-do members who are happy to help out but that's why she quit taking them stuff.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2011 01:23PM by CA girl.

Well, if my little girl's hair started falling out for lack of nutrition and stress.... how awful!
That's a good idea, I'm going to think on that. I am an apostate, but supplies are supplies nonetheless.