One of my friends PB's said she would live to see the second coming.

Mine said I have the gift of prophecy and of tongues.

And this is probably the worst one:
One of my very best friends' PB said she would mother many children....she's now 34, and after years of trying, and going to fertility experts, she finally had one child. That one pisses me off. What kind of a mind f*ck that was!

Mine said I would cast satan from my presence on several occasions. A couple of decades later and I've yet to see him even once.

I used to call Bishop Jackwagon Satan - you have my permission to cast him as far from here as possible.

LOL! +See, Shadowspade, your PB worked! Just like the elephant-repellant joke.

My parents didn't think it was important for a female to get a patriarchal blessing, because they were raising me to be a SAHM. I always wondered what it would say.

I got nothing, and I turned out to be nothing (as far as Mormonism is concerned).

Mine said i would be able to move mountains O_o need that pesky mountain moved just call me lol

I remember one RS lesson about if something in your PB blessing didn't happen it meant it would happen in the next life or you didn't live up to your covenants. Way to cover your a$$ was all I could think at the time.

A line that helped me be a douchebag on the mission was something about through my righteousness I would baptize many people on the mission. I went into the mission thinking I was going to be a badass missionary to the tune of Alma. Maybe I actually was even better because I really exist.

Mine says I will receive inspiration to tell what is evil and what is good, and that I will always choose the good... Guess they were right on that one! I definitely saw the good in leaving TSCC.

"Have a talent in athletics." Now I can run a few miles and I'm pretty fit and healthy, but I frankly never have and never will be talented at athletics. I've never even had an interest in it and never been a member of an athletics club.

As a TBM some years ago I raised this point with my dad and got the usual 'it might be referring to the next life' rubbish. If true, which it clearly isn't, what's the point in telling me this now? Making me feel that I must not be living righteously enough to fulfil this promise?

I now put this in the same category as the "nut allergy" I was 'diagnosed' with in a priesthood health blessing some years ago. Complete bollocks..... I love peanuts/peanut butter, always have and always will - and I've never once had an issue at all.

sherlock Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Have a talent in athletics." Now I can run a few
> miles and I'm pretty fit and healthy, but I
> frankly never have and never will be talented at
> athletics. I've never even had an interest in it
> and never been a member of an athletics club.

'Cause you know how important it is to have quarterback hands in the CK....

What the hell, you were told you were allegeric to nuts in a preisthood blessing? That is beyond strange.

Mine said that I would have such a strong belief in god that I could command Stan to be gone, and it should be. Then goes on and on about what I can do just because my belief in god is so strong.

Funny thing is, I've been a closet atheist since I was a kid. I couldn't tell anyone, but the concept of god just didn't make much sense to me.

It also said that God, Jesus, and I would be BFFs forever, just hanging out together in Elohim's Godcave or something.

Mormons excel at the "beyond strange" I am never surprised to hear some weird thing promised in a blessing because I know mormons are more than capable of doing the weirdest things.

Mine says i will have dreams of a spiritual nature in which beings will instruct me on how to bring to pass the second coming

1. I should never refuse a call
2. My daughter would suffer the same pain as Christ. 3. My other daughter would almost die but be spared. 4. That my bff would give birth to 3 children. She was still infertile after 3 IVFS..........and I could go on......by the way different patriachs...even countries....WTF.......Iwas so worried about my daughters i was sick. Rubbish rubbish.

Mine said I would have children (plural) and teach them to pray, and I would feel peace in my heart as I see their strength and joy in the gospel.

Mine said that I would meet a worthy ph holder and marry on this earth in the lord's temple and that I would be blessed with many children and that I should accept these little blessings and not delay them (not use Birth Control?)

I was very faithful until 35 and remained single while waiting for my worth PH holder. I left TSCC at 35 got married at 36 and never had kids due to fertility issues.

Stupid Cult.

This is a persecuted segment of Mormons with whom I don't have much exposure, so little expertise, but truly is an immoral part of Mormonism.

If a woman waits too long for mating in order to get the Mormon special brand, she will become infertile. The sooner she expands her prospects to a good companion for me in this life and a good prospective father of our children she will actually increase her chances of being a wife and mother.

This is an area where the Church does more harm than good by the way it defines a good companion. Not all women have their pick of men, so this teaching does damage. There is adoption, many beautiful children need the love of a family.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/11/2012 02:38PM by gentlestrength.

Have a friend who has a blessing that said he had his mate specially chosen before coming to earth, that she willhelp him rise above adversity and he would climb very very high in the church, as a Prophet. It made him out to be uber special and kingly. And he believed every word and scared his gf away by showing the blessing to her. Apparently she didn't want to be the one to shine his shoes, tie his ties and dote to such an important man.

Good for her.

I know someone whose patriarchal blessing says that she will not taste of death, but will be changed in the twinkling of an eye.

From what I understand now, that's actually a somewhat common promise to find in a patriarchal blessing. But years ago, when she told me that about hers, I was just sure that it was evidence that the second coming was close at hand.

You must be friends with my sister, as her's says just that.

Your friend from Pocatello?

~Lou

Mine said I would have dominion over the tuberous vegetables. I was a little disappointed.

Mine said I would raise the dead and go on a mission to Jerusalem. Otherwise it was the same ole, same ole. Fun stuff, I really thought I was THE CHOSEN ONE. LOL

Oh WOW! Raised the dead?? Mission in Jerusalem? The patriarch thought you were Jesus! Lol!

When I was a Bishop, I had many young people share their PB's with me. I can still remember the individuals and the statements--I knew then and I now even better know that it was BS.

Some statements I saw:

You will see the second coming (inactive now)
You will serve in foreign lands (went to the states or didn't go)
You will marry a strong member (married a nonmormon)
You will serve in high places in the church (went inactive)
You will have the gift of tongues (went to English speaking)
You will gift of peacemaking (not)
You will have many children (2 and 3)
You will have a strong testimony (always struggled with a testimony)

I'm impressed you paid attention and can remember. You must have been a Bishop that saw his congregation as real people with spiritual needs. True?

Excuse me if I am shocked when I find one of these.

"You are going to be a righteous leader in the world."

Yep, pretty sure I was supposed to be the white horse prophecy. Haha.

Funny thing is I have no leadership skills whatsoever. I am definitely a follower.

>>PB's said she would live to see the second coming.

That's what my BFFs said, too.

Mine had me being very very righteous enough to be close friends with the Saviour etc. Interesting, how I have become an atheist.

I don't remember what mine said, except that "I was descended from northern tribes." How prophetic... I'm blond and so white that the glare is a traffic hazard when I wear shorts.

I seldom remember my horoscope in the paper, if I bother to read it, either.

I wonder what Mitt Romney's says and why his wife insisted he run for president?

Mine says "the eyes of the world will be upon you and watch you very carefully". Talk about making me so paranoid it tied me up in knots and I was unable to be myself.

I forgot what mine said. It made its' way to the landfill a while back. The PB only taught me to not pay attention to what any of the holy ones have to mumble about.
And folks actually believe that crap.

ST

Mine was actually very mellow. I still have it.

My youngest brother's said that he had been a general in Satan's army during the pre-existence, but had switched to the Lord's side at the last minute. Then it deteriorated into a rant about the hollow earth theory. He never really went to church again after that, and resigned as soon as he turned 18. The sad part is that he was a diehard TBM prior to his PB, and was absolutely crushed by it.

That's horrible! I'm so sorry that happened to him. But if it made him leave tscc then maybe something good came out of it.

He's doing great now--he's been out for well over a decade. But he loved the church and mourned it for a good while.