So I went out with some members of my branch a few nights ago, for a non-church-sponsored outing...basically dinner and a show at a local theater. I got a ride with some of the members.

In the car coming home, one of the guys in the car (really funny guy, I get a kick out of him), decides he's going to mess around with the women in the car. He says to one of them, "So-and-so, I love you, (other woman in the car), and Jackamormon. I can't decide which of you I want to marry. I've had a revelation that polygamy should be reinstated. Will you be my first wife, So-and-so?"

Okay, I know what you're thinking, ladies. But the way he said it was harmless...and anybody with a slice of common sense would have known it.

I see So-and-So's hands squeeze the steering wheel. She perks up, in her sweet but no-nonsense Molly Mormon voice, says "Only the Prophet holds the authority to reinstate polygamy."

He takes that as a "no", and turns to the other girl, and says "Hey,Other Girl, will you be my first wife?" Other Girl laughs, but before she answers, So-and-So pipes up "you are putting yourself at risk for excommunication!"

He then turns to me and says "Jackie?" Before he can say another word, I say "don't even think about it, Mister! So and so and Other Girl warned me all about you! And even if Thomas S. Monson did authorize polygamy, I would never, ever consent to subjecting myself or my children to such an arrangement. And I would immediately terminate a marriage to any husband of mine who attempted to spread his seed elsewhere."

The whole car fell silent. I lightened the tone by saying "Besides, I'm too old for you."

It could have been worse...I could have said "yes...but only as long as you let me call you Joseph."

Mormons have a very small sense of humor in general.

I think you are very funny!

"Only if the others do all the housework and I get to read and mess on the computer all day!"

You weren't supposed to mention the revealed reason for polygamy; raising up seed!

So saying you weren't going to be a seed receptacle made the other ladies realize that was the real reason behind polygamy.

Apparently only you and he had a sense of humor.

Next time tell them you agree with Brigham Young: bring'em young, bring'em old, just bring'em! Watch their faces fall.

(Be a troll, take no Mormon prisoners!)

That's so typical and funny for a molly mormon to say, ""Only the Prophet holds the authority to reinstate polygamy." She proly thought he was serious, and couldn't wait to tattle on him. I bet she will tattle on him. Just wait. Loved your response though.