According to Mormon doctrine, our spirits came into being because we were born to Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, right? Well, we were taught that HF has a body of flesh and blood, presumably so does HM. So, how is it that they gave life only to spirit children?

The thought makes reason stare.

And for 2000 yrs, was HF and HM making all the babies born during The Dark Ages...but then these "children"/people NOT receive revelation from their HF????

Nah, HF and HM have been celibate since the days of the war in heaven.

Those poor suckers born during the great apostasy were mostly the spirit children who were on the fence when the whole Jesus/Lucifer spat was going down.

God was all "way to have my back, dickmonkeys" and decided to screw with their access to saving ordinances.

Wow, he had a whole lot of fence sitting children. For an all powerful God, he sure did have a lot of kids that wanted little to do with him, between all the fence sitters and fallen third.

I can see the Maury Povich episode now. "Heavenly Father, you are the father!" "Damnit!"

Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother produce spirit children according to the Joseph Smith Principle:

"If you just make it up, some fool will believe you."

Hahahahaha!

Because HF had a spiritual vasectomy.

And is in defiance of the God-given (sic) rules of biological science.

Imagine this mother, clothed in Celestial Glory bringing up these spirit children. Changing their spirit diapers. Packing their spirit lunches, helping them with spirit homework.

Trying to teach them to be valiant when they go off to War to fight against....who exactly, oh yes, the spirit children of Satan, called demons, who are also going body-shopping to Earth and will try to boost theirs.

Yes, reason-staring starts here....


Anagrammy

Great Observation twojedis

I'm going to be asking my mormon friends :)

The answer is in the Adam God theory. See the Journal of Discourses Volume 4 pages 217-218.

http://contentdm.lib.byu.edu/cdm/compoundobject/collection/JournalOfDiscourses3/id/9596/rec/4

"Things were first created spiritually; the Father actually begat the spirits, and they were brought forth and lived with Him. Then He commenced the work of creating earthly tabernacles, precisely as He had been created in this flesh himself, by partaking of the course material that was organized and composed this earth, until His system was charged with it, consequently the tabernacles of His children were organized from the coarse materials of this earth."

Not so fast, Brother Brigham! I believe that Mr. Spencer Kimball trumps you, because he pretended to be a prophet after you pretended to be a prophet. And whoever pretends to be a prophet last wins!

"We denounce [the Adam–God] theory and hope that everyone will be cautioned against this and other kinds of false doctrine." - Spencer W. Kimball

what I wanna know is when there arn't any more spirit children left in heaven to come get a body is the whole world going to become sterile??

All 7 billion people on earth all of a sudden won't be able to become pregnant because their arn't any more spirit children left in heaven to come get a body.

Or maybe when all the spirit children will have come to get a body people will only have ginger babies and thats how the world ends. A pale, freckled face, tan less, apocalypse.

In other words, hocus-pocus, poof, another spirit child. I also imagined that creating spirit children was different from eternal increase.With the latter, you'd be popping out kids with bodies.

But it's all make believe anyway, so...

I used to ask that question a lot. I always got the standard, "Put it on your list of things to ask HF about some day."

Yep, this is an old problem. And to make matters worse we supposedly come from an endless line of incest aswell. HF married his spiritual sister/s just like we all supposedly marry our spiritual siblings (or half-siblings if you hold on to the idea of plural marrige), and their HF married his siblings too an so it goes all the way back eternally.

I really thought someone would bring this up already... I was taught that HF did have a body of flesh and bone but no blood. The lack of blood makes his body eternal/immortal. I must have asked for real specifics (I was always the disobedient one).

One cannot help to wonder how HF is supposed to get it up when there is no blood in his body. Does his penis get filled with holy spirit? Is that it, is this the identity of the holy ghost perhaps? He's gods boner, when he's not busy burning bosoms he makes sure Hf gets some celestial action?

Fantastic analogy!

LOL!

That made me laugh out loud.

Re: God's boner
I don't think blood will be required. My opinion (may or may not be doctrine) is that when men are resurrected it will be with a perpetual, eternal hard-on.

He just commands his penis elements to be stiff and the elements obey. I think that is how it must work.

Everybody knows that the Mighty Phallus is engorged with lymph, not blood. At least that what I learned in Junior Sunday School Physiology class.

I think that's just rigor mortis...

Why was there a war in heaven anyway? If it's heaven, then why war? Then there must be greed. Greed being someone wanting something that someone else has or more of than someone else has. LDS says that there was a seperation in heaven and part went with lucifer. So there is free thinking in heaven which leads to a lot of differences in heaven, Opinions , likes, dislikes. Sounds much like life on earth. So do we go to heaven and go through it all over again? Just a different place, issues? Just doesn't make much since to me. Just something i've pondered over the years. Being raised baptist & until I joined the TSCC, I never heard of spirit children before. Always thought that was strange. Or a war in heaven either.

Beware the celestial military industrial complex. In that context, it sounds more like a mental problem. Also who would have financed this "war"?

All wars are about resources.

In heaven, Lucifer and HF are fighting over the only resources they have in heaven - spiritual babies/people...

It's all about resources...

Since God has no blood, do you think he has a belly button?

It doesn't seem like he would have a need for one.
Maybe his lack of a naval is why he had to bring it up in the temple ceremony. He figured he'd say health in the naval just to cover all the bases since he's no sure what it's like to have one of those things.

So, from what I have gathered, and being outside the main doctrine of the mo church, I could totally misunderstood, but won't the spirit children come forth from the virtuous that reach the highest level of the ck after death? Isn't that the whole point of living to die?

I guess somehow I missed the spirits already existing; what will become of the offspring born to those that make it to the ck? Will they be 'grandfathered' into the ck for all eternity?

Wars in heaven?

According to Mormon doctrine, we are all spirit children of Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother, our spirits came to earth to inhabit bodies, when we die, our spirits leave our bodies. We will then be resurrected, which is when our body and spirit are reunited.

After we were all created as spirit children, there was a war in heaven, in which 1/3 of the spirit children chose Lucifer's plan instead of Christ's plan. We are here on earth because we were one of the 2/3 that chose Christ's plan. The 1/3 who chose Satan's plan are condemned to live with Satan forever, never getting a body.

After we are resurrected, if we are worthy of attaining the highest level of the CK, we can create our own worlds and have spirit children of our own.

Ok, I obviously missed some of the story, thanks for the background. Makes one wonder if there will be a need for those 'new' spirit children to prove themselves in a manner such as those of us on earth are suppose to be doing now.

I have a friend that is very into the metaphysical philosophy that believes we are here to correct wrongs of previous lives; but he is quick to say that he also believes that there was no real choice during those lives, but that going forward there will be fewer humans as the spirits that are able to come to earth for a human life will refuse. Can't site any references as it all comes directly from him personally and I am not sure of his sources.

I guess we each have to determine what works for us. Personally, I had two kids on earth and hope to be done with child rearing - not sure I have had previous lives, but making the best of this one while I have it.

Really none of this is inconsistent per se (since it's some imaginary spirit world, the rules are arbitrary anyway).

For starters, an omnipotent, celestial being maybe doesn't use sex to create things. Which raises all sorts of questions about why he needs a body at all.

Also I remember some line about HF organizing some vague intelligence that already existed to make our spirits.

That left us partially formed but incomplete, sort of like cookie dough, and this mortal life is the oven...explains why it gets so hot in here, sometimes ;)

Unless they've denounced the Baker-God theory...

And were those intelligences that were organized into spirits existing from the beginning of time? Or something like that? So all those folks that will make it to the ck will just need to organize what is already existing. The foundation of their spirits already exists today. And if the intelligences are organized, then why does there need to be a heavenly mother? Maybe the gods shop for spirit mixes, or maybe spirit recipes are shared amongst the gods, or maybe sample packages of pre-packaged spirits come with god's own easy bake oven.

Perhaps this was some TBM's interpretation.

Thinking about it, I think the 'organized what was' is the bit about the Mormon god not creating the universe (instead being finite).

So it need not apply to spirit children, who are allegedly his 'literal offspring' anyway. I've just got to wonder--how literal are we talking here!? I don't think mormon leaders since BY are interested in touching that one, though...

Of course, if I baked a clan of gingerbread men and wanted to keep a hold on them, I guess I would tell them they were my literal offspring, too.

Haha, I guess there must be different recipes, unless the franchise insists on controlling that (probably would, given the morg's style).

I like the idea of universe-as-bakery...you've got the celestial kitchen, the terrestrial (clay?) oven, and the dumpster of outer darkness.

I guess spirit prison must be a cooling rack, where the burnt cookies and the good ones are separated from one another.