If you have nothing better to do, then go, just make sure to have your own transportation so you can leave when you want. Food will be Ham ,funeralpotatoess ,and lots of jello.
I am still not recovered from my accident. I can't sit for more than an half an hour at a time. So, definitely, no sitting on the floor for me. If I have to take pain medication, I won't care what goes on. Pain meds and alprazolam would probably make me laugh at everything.
The mishies said I could leave after a hour, if I wanted. I thought it was really big of them to give me that permission.
I think they invited me, because they feel guilty about coming over here, eating my food and playing video games.
I have another ulterior motive – I want to know who the morg are in the very small town I live in, so I know who to avoid. That and I've always wanted to eat funeral potatoes and pig out on green Jell-O.
A friend of mine invited me to her ward party last Saturday. I had nothing else to do so I went. The meal was ham, funeral potatoes, green beans, and jello. I laughed and told my friend that that was the most cliche Mormon meal.
I went to one two days ago. The food was good, but that's about it. We sat on blankets on the hard gym floor and sang a collection of the slowest, most boring Christmas songs ever written. Well, about 1/5 of us sang anyway, but we did so quietly because we were self-conscious about the fact that nobody else was singing. There were two or three references in the interim speeches about how grateful we are to be in Christ's true church.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2012 03:40PM by kimball.
If you're what they call an "investigator" or if you're inactive and want to be left alone, don't show the slightest interest or they'll likely be calling and pounding on your door for months.
I have a 27" iMac you can see from my front door–the door is made of glass.
If they start coming over, I'll add religious porn as my screensaver and start answering my door with a beer can full of water, (I don't like beer, but the can is a little more obvious than 2 shots of scotch in my Rock Star energy drink.)
jacob Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I go because my wife and kids go. Go but be > prepared to be peppered with mindless we've missed > yous.
7 years of non-attendance and "boundary changes" including the creation of a new ward has let me off that hook.
Just to add...I've seen their "Cultural Centers" at a few mormon churches. This just makes me laugh at mormons and some pity because....to me, I used to think that they have nothing that seems to resemble an actual culture.....
I know now that i am wrong because...white-bread, anglo-saxon, diabetic diet eatin, lamanite-hating, funeral potato eatin', jello-with-vegetable eatin' culture classifies as a culture....but boy what a boring one it is....
I will probably go to the Ward Christmas dinner again this year. I really do love funeral potatoes. I will probably just eat a small bit of ham but will have several portions of funeral potatoes and there are usually many good desserts as well. I watch out though for any fundraising dinner sponsored by the scouts. Sometimes they have been good but the last one consisted of extremely overcooked spaghetti and a tomato sauce that had no meat or spices in it. They literally just opened canned tomato sauce and poured it on. The garlic bread was tolerable.
Bring the local stripper as your date. Tell her to dress to impress. Eat food, talk loud, act drunk, and ask them in a loud voice, "Why do ya'll think people can turn black by sinning in the book of mormon.....that sounds like horse shit to me?"
I don't understand attending a party just so that you can turn your snooty nose up at the party. All the bad decorations and food tells you is that the central church headquarters vacuums up all the money and they don't have any budget for anything fancy.
If you are too good for them why go? If there are genuinely going to be people there that you would enjoy interacting with, then go for it.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2012 10:25PM by bc.
Combine a little bit of all the drinks in your fridge to make a punch. Dilute with half water. Pour into a paper cup, and leave out to warm to room temperature.
Put up a folding table and folding chair in your rec-room or hallway.
Cover the table with white butcher paper (or tape together a few sheets of computer paper).
Place a hand-crafted christmas decoration on the table, made out of an old Chlorox bottle, or pine cones, or yard trimmings--be creative.
Remove the shades from your lamps to get that cultural hall glare.
Play MoTab Choir songs. (They don't have to be Christmas songs, as they all sound alike.)
Don't answer you phone or door, as having a conversation with a friend will ruin the ambiance.
Serve on a paper plate, eat as fast as possible, crumple the paper plate and cup into the butcher paper and promptly take it out to your garbage can.
Fold the table and chairs and put them away, with a lot of clanking.