Posted by:
The Oncoming Storm - bc
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Date: December 13, 2012 07:23PM
This is a repost of something I wrote on here a while ago but it came to mind while reading your post:
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,508279,508377#msg-508377There are often posts are here asking "Why did I believe it for so long?" or "Why are others so completely taken in by this?"
I've thought about this quite a bit. Once you stop believing the entire belief system is just so over the top ridiculous, the claims so nuts, the history so clear, that it's almost impossible to fathom believing in it.
So this has made me think a lot of why the hold is so strong. (I think a lot of this also applies to other religions.)
I'm saving what I think is the biggest reason for last, but I think there are a number of contributing factors:
- Confirmation bias. We are wired to keep believing what we believe.
- We like to be right. It's hard for humans in general, emotionally, to consider that they may be wrong about something - especially something that is important to them.
- Social programming (peer pressure)
I think the above are big factors to change any beliefs - changing major beliefs of any kind is difficult for humans to do I think. However for Mormonism/religion I think it goes a step deeper.
- Religions belief especially Mormonism is integral to your identity - who you are at the core. Giving up Mormonism isn't just about the pain of changing and reconsidering beliefs and overcoming intense peer pressure, it's about challenging your very identity.
And challenging your core identity - who you are is a very difficult, painful, scary thing to do. So much so that even the thought of doing this is nearly impossible - it's much easier to throw up logical/mental smokescreens.
Some core things with identity:
- Who you are is so much more than the body you have. You are this eternal spirit that existed long before and after.
- You are a son/daughter of God. You are loved more deeply than anyone on this earth could ever do.
- You have the potential of a God.
- This life has a much deeper purpose that you are becoming something much more.
It's a complete change of your entire identity. If you grow up active in the church it goes even deeper.
- You are taught that your testimony is your most valuable possession. In a sense your testimony is you - it's more than just a valuable possession - it's the core of who you are.
- Daily, weekly, etc. religious rituals define who you are and give you a sense of who you are.
- Your family is largely defined in the context of the religion. The foundation of your primary social group is founded on Mormonism and dependent on Mormonism to continue.
- There are so many things done and said within Mormonism to reinforce that Mormonism is not just a belief it is who you are.
I'm sure there are many other ways that a Mormon's identity if defined by Mormonism.
I propose that to give up your identity is extremely difficult.
I think it is no wonder that so many of us were fooled by this for so long. I think it is no wonder that so many TBMs that we are surrounded by those hold on so strongly to such a ridiculous belief system. I also think it is no wonder that leaving can sometimes be such a painful process and require so much support especially when the change in belief is abrupt.