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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: get her done ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 11:29AM

I was in the mormon church for over 55 years. In that time I served in malls capacities including the Los Angeles temple. I'm a four year seminary graduate, and a graduate of Brigham young university. I have two master's degrees. During that time I was a member of the mormon church, I attempted suicide five times. I was on Saturday of medication most of those years, in high quantity. I was poor, not a homeowner, and had 12 children sticking out of the back hatch of my Chevett. No medical, no battle for the children, and fighting utility companies. Due to stress of the mormon church, I was finally diagnosed with a mental disorder. A long story short, the mormon church ruin my life for 55 years.

For over 55 years the mormon church made me miserable and owned my life. Dude to this board and the people to take time to post, my life has changed.

I have decided, that hating the cult, I'm just giving them the last years of my life. I'm not going to do that. These years are now for me, and my family to enjoy life and have happiness away from that cult. I am going to give an example of what my life is now away from the Mormons.

I just leased a 2011 sonata, with everything on it. It is blacked with black leather interior. It has an onboard computer data is why fine, a DVD, phones every safety feature ever invented. It's completely tinted and constantly gets compliments.

I just purchased the most beautiful condo I have ever seen. We have spiral staircase, loft, vaulted ceilings, and a beautiful view overlooking two flowing ponds. I spend a lot of time sitting on the patio chairs watching the water, birds, trees, and thinking about this post.

I have two wonderful children still at home one in seven years old one is all 11 years old. I adopted them from the Philippines less than 10 months ago, and immigrated them into the United States. Neither could speak English, neither I'd correct had seen a refrigerator, air conditioning, dishwasher, water heater, had never written in a car, and slapped on the ground with snakes spiders iguanas and cockroaches. Neither had medical or dental attention ever,born at home, and had little food to date their entire life.

In only 10 months, both are straight A students, both speak write fluent English. One lays the clasical piano at a concert level. They have learned to ride bikes, skateboards, rollar blade, swim, and use the karaoke machine. They use their library cards. I have a wonderful return missionary wife, allows me to be an atheist,allowd me to remove the children from the mormon church. We now have fun and family togetherness and Sunday is our favorite day to travel and enjoy each other. I have a wonderful wife who is 24 years younger than me, and weighs 106 pounds. Screw the mormon church.

They had my life for over 55 years, I now have the most wonderful, happy, peaceful, life that any man could desire. I think I'm recovering from the cult. I recognize my blessings, and although the mormon church certainly gether done enemy, they don't own the rest of my life. I do. I will continue to post now and then, and if I can help anyone else, I will.

I now am going to focus on the things that I have. I'm not going to spend one more second giving the mormon church any portion of my life. Get he done, is done. Thank you all on this board you certainly are the main cause of my recovery.

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 11:44AM

Wonderful!!!.... having lived in the Philippines myself I can imagine the state of their lives before coming to you. Sounds like a good life is ahead for all of you.

Commenting on the Mormon church is not the same thing as hating it. You have a lot to offer. Perhaps you just want to focus your sharing in a different way. Glad you will post now and then. Enjoy those kids.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 12:19PM

I agree with honestone--you have something to contribute. I read most of your threads when I have time.

We all have something to contribute. I am sitting here listening to conference while my TBM daughter is here. I'm going to GC with her tomorrow. She knows my story. I have learned to allow her and everyone else to make their own journey (and I will be here to catch her when she figures it out).

I am at peace. I am no longer on antidepressants and haven't been actually (except for a short stint) since I lost my beliefs.

So--keep telling your story, get her done. There are many who need to hear it.

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 01:15PM

You have a place here :)

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 01:57PM

I think everyone has their own idea of what recovery means to them. Sound like you're doing well. Congratulations.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 02:33PM


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Posted by: WiserWomanNow ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 04:02PM

Keep posting, GHD.

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Posted by: foolserrand2 ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 04:19PM

That was beautiful And you are right, hating the cult is time consuming.

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Posted by: loveskids ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 06:26PM

I really enjoyed your post get her done. I am 58,member 57 years and also have 2 young children (7 and 10) at home. Both of which are also adopted. I have 7 adult children-4 adopted-and 4 still very active. Along with TBM dh. I can hardly wait for the day I can say "I think I may be recovered" When you give over 50 years to an organization,and it fails you so miserably,I understand the grieving process is very hard and long. I've been out less than a year,and in that time I've lost many "friends" and family members. 3 of my children. But I have also gained so much. FREEDOM!!! I am very happy for you in your new life.

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: October 03, 2010 12:29AM

loveskids....those friends were not really friends. They cared about you as long as you believed the way they wanted you to believe. That is brainwashing at it's finest. They don't have the ability to see you as the same person- just not in their church any longer. Good luck with your recovery. You saw through the fraud and they still like living the fairytale. Always remember who is using their God given ability to discern truth. Give yourself lots of credit.

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Posted by: Flier ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 06:45PM

Are you calling off the lawsuit?

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Posted by: get her done ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 09:52PM

The lawsuit is off. I cannot write, how much this board has meant to me. It is taken my anger, sarcasm, and hate, and given me a new life. I appreciate some much the comments about this. I just want to say, that I owe this board, for helping me recover. I say to the lurkers, those that cannot muster the courage yet, take your time, use this board, and recover at your own rate. My experience has been, the longer you Were in the cult to, and your dedication to it, the more difficult and longer than the recovery. But I do say fans to lurkers and any one wanting to gain their lights that. I save the $10,000 in counseling bills by using this board. I think recovery from a cult is one of the most dangerous things I have ever done and will be I'm going for the rest of my life. There are so many people that if got me on this board, I could not begin to toss up the list their names, and the help they'me given me.

I will read, and probably post. But I feel that reading hourly and daily is time that I would rather spend in my new life. I had never met in more crying, funny, and creative group as I have met on this board. You'll never know how many comments made me think for days and days, how to recover, and in my life. Thank you all for the support, kindness, you showed me.

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Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: October 02, 2010 11:28PM

Best wishes!

You have a full, happy life ahead of you, and lots of help to give to us at RFM (I hope you do) and especially to give to your family! Giving them the gift of religious freedom is huge! I'm glad you didn't die, and that you didn't let the cult win.

Thank you for the great advice! We all should make a pledge to not give one more dime, one more minute of time to the cult that has taken away so much from us already. That's why I won't study it anymore. I will pay attention to the arguments and evidence against it, though. I will also do what is necessary to help others see the truth, break free, and start feeling good about themselves again--especially women and children.

Loveskids, it takes a while to adjust to the punishments of the cult. Hopefully, your initial sense of FREEDOM and joy will see you through the cruel treatment from Mormon "friends" and family members. I have been free for almost 5 years, now, and my family members have finally come around, and my true friends stood by me. But--I lost every one of my neighborhood Mormon ward "friends." They were mad at me for not playing the organ for them anymore, and for not cleaning the building. I am still a good, moral, honest Christian. Mormons don't like to be told "no," that's all. It is nothing personal!

Mormons like to say that we apostates SUFFER for our sins, and live "in the dark corners" of life. The truth is that the Mormons try to cause us to suffer. They gossip about us, they try to ruin our reputation with our customers, employers, the community, and our own children and parents. They shun us, and try to make us feel guilty and awful. If we could somehow shrug this petty mean-ness off, like water off a duck's back, we could recover a lot faster.

Alas, a cult behaves like a cult. That's why "recovery" is a long struggle for most.

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