I've recently had some interesting conversations with a couple of NOMs who have expressed concern about sharing truths about the church with older TBMs.

The concern is that it could really rock their world at a stage in life where they absolutely love the church, are looking forward to an after-life and all their friends / entire social support network is wrapped up in the church.

I used the 'an uncomfortable reality has got to be better than blissful ignorance' line, but thinking further about my own parents, I could for the first time kind of see this other point of view.

I genuinely think my ageing parent's world would be completely devastated if they knew and agreed with what I know. Without the church that they've devoted their whole lives to, they would have no friends, social group, activities... and little inclination at their stage of life to extend effort in starting anything new.

Thoughts?

I've decided for myself that I'll only share things with people if they ask and want to know. Otherwise I don't feel that I have the right to destroy their beliefs if they are happy the way they are. But now maybe if they are your own kids, then you might have an obligation to try. But otherwise it's like you can't go around telling other people's kids that Santa isn't real.

I agree. If they ask, I'll tell them. Otherwise it is not my business. The church works for some people and I don't know what might happen to them if I destroy their belief.. If someone appears unhappy or questioning, I might ask them if they would like to hear what I know. If they say no, I drop it.I don't appreciate being told what to believe. That is my main problem with some believers and some of the board atheists. I am not going to do the same thing.

My mother just passed away, my father was long dead. So, no concern there.

My FIL is on the way out, probably within the year. The jury is out on my MIL. When they've both gone, I'll send in my letter. The only thing lacking on it is the date. Doing so before then runs the risk of causing them unnecessary grief and concern. He's been BP, SPcouncilor, TPcouncilor, Sealer, etc. They are TBM to the core, but are the kind that are actually nice to have around. Couldn't ask for better in-laws, and wouldn't trade them for the world. Even though I would like to close that chapter of my life, I can wait.

Sometimes, the kinder thing to do is to let them be.

Oh, and yes if it is your own kids, then you should be honest with them.

Now, there is the chance that I get the "boot of love" before then for being vocal. Bring it on, I'd attend the charade with my recorder, say my peace, hand them my letter, and tell them where to stick it and that the meeting is over.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2013 05:53PM by Bite Me.

I can't sit in silence anymore when the folks talk crap that is so obviously flawed.

When my TBM dad, who would make a good Grand Wizard, starts his BS about skin colour being a curse, I ask him why this curse means that those with ancestors who historically lived in places with high UV radiation exposure were also coincidentally "evil".

Also when he calls an earthquake in Indonesia punishment for being Muslim, I state that there aren't any Muslims anywhere else around the ring of fire (except parts of the Phillipines, and they're mostly Catholic), yet places along plate boundaries get pounded by "God's wrath".

So if you want to sin and stay white and earthquake free, live in Scandinavia.

Their thinking is so infantile and toxic. Personally I don't care how old they are when they learn to grow up mentally. I was a little scared kid when they filled my head with bullsh!t.

1. I am part of the oldest living generation in our family. My father, if living would be 110 and my mother would be 108. I only know that I have told my children but not all the grand-children as our children are mostly TBM and would resent it.
2. Only after considering the effect on the happiness of our children did I decide that it was essential to let them know so that they have a full opportunity to change their belief systems because TSCC is utterly false. As for the older people in the family, let them know because they may be living a charade and do not believe either but are afraid to let anyone know.

if they are planning to gift the corporation with their worldly goods.

Absofreakinlutely!!

This is something that I have thought a great deal about. Your wording was perfect and I couldn't have said it better. My parents are a few decades from dying and I wonder if they would even want to know if the church wasn't true. Maybe people reach a point where they would prefer not to know rather than realizing a large portion of their lives was in vain. The thing is that my parents don't think that I have any legitimate reason for leaving the church and that I was simply offended. To validate my own disbelief I am going to tell them as much church history dirt as I can. Then they will at least realize I have reason to doubt.

I still visit teach two widows, one is 84 and one is 99. They are looking forward to being with their husbands again. I've visited them for 18 years. Both have been inactive at times but are believers and want the gospel in their life. They've been alone for several years now and I wouldn't burst their bubble at this point. They can live the rest of their life without having to deal with what I have discovered, they have enough loneliness in their life, they don't need to loose their belief system too at this late date.

There is a cut off at some point. If someone is old and dying, and they take comfort by believing in superstition, after living an entire long life of denying themselves joy, then the only thing the truth can bring them is a bunch of regrets in their last few remaining days.

If on the other hand, they have some living ahead of them, then the church is probably keeping them from living what time they have to the fullest.

Depends on the person and what you consider old. I'm 62 some would consider that old. I could still be believing and preparing for a mission. Instead I'm preparing for a motorcycle trip around Australia with a few mates. I also get a 10% financial bonus to pay for it all. Those who don't want to know the truth will go on believing no matter what is said by others, they may be uncomfortable but will put it on a shelf or ignore it.

Without wanting to offend any more mature board members, the people in question are in their mid-70's and 80's.

My mom is giving way too much money in tithing in case she didn't give enuf in the past. My parents were always temple recommend holders. I assume they gave a full tithe. I hate to see hard earned money wasted, but I would never betray her belief that a full tithe will reunite her with my father.

I let em all "be". They don't ask and I don't tell. An annoying member came by while I was washing the car. He said "sure wish you would all come back to church. We miss you." My reply: "well that's not gonna happen" and left it at that.

It's terribly unfair to try to mindread based on imagination and elitism as mormons tend to do.

Old people are still individuals with minds and opinions.