Posted by:
melissa3839
(
)
Date: January 09, 2011 07:15PM
The bottom line is (I'm not trying to offend men in general, I'm just making a point)-- We still live in a male-dominated society.
Almost EVERY man (even a nice one) has been in a situation where he was extremely turned on by someone, but that person did not want sex. And he was extremely frustrated. I think the reason very little is done about rape, is because many men actually sympathize, especially with with the whole "date rape" scenario. Its like they feel sorry that the attacker was stuck in a situation where he lost control.
I'm going to tell you all something, because it was a HUGE shock to us, but I think its important that all people (especially women) know this, so we can have a good idea of what we are dealing with out there in the world: At my first college, after a local young woman (not a student) in our area was raped at a party, there was the typical defense claim from the guy that she "led him on" and it was all the fault of alcohol, bla, bla, bla.
So as a project in our Sociology class, some of my female classmates and I went around with a shoebox with a slit cut in the top as a makeshift "voting box" and some leaflets and pens to take a short pole from the men on campus. This is what was printed on the leaflet:
"This question is for a project in our Sociology class, and it is in regards to the recent sexual assault case of (insert victim name here). Please feel free to give your complete honest opinion, as your answers will be completely confidential, no names required.
Question:
If you were completely alone with someone you were attracted to, and you were extremely excited and badly wanted to have sex at the moment-- What would your reaction be if that person said no?"
Well, we agreed that we would ask at least 100 guys, giving them multiple choice answers to circle. We told them to fold up the paper after answering, and drop it through the slit in the box to ensure anonymity. Here is a general summery of their responses, by percentage:
(about 5%)
1-- I would just stop. That's what a gentleman would do.
(about 5%)
2-- I would stop, but I would be really frustrated/upset.
(about 60%)
3-- It would be extremely difficult to stop, and I probably would not, at least not very easily. But but I won't force them either. I would most likely keep trying to seduce them. Most of the time, you can get someone to change their mind, and the first "no" is just a pride/honor thing.
(about 15%)
4-- Its best not to get in that situation with me, because its very hard for me to stop when I'm like that. I'm afraid I might lose control, especially if I were drunk.
(about 15%)
5-- Its wrong to be off alone with a guy, let him get excited, and then say no. Everyone knows that. So if someone is going to be stupid enough to put themselves in that situation... Then I say they deserve whatever they get.
Let me tell you, this poll was a REAL eye opener for us! We basically learned that the majority of guys would never force someone (although a disturbingly high number either might or would)... But the bottom line was, weather they forced you, or simply continued trying to seduce/romance you-- 90% of the guys out there WILL NOT just stop when you ask them to.
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2011 07:18PM by melissa3839.