I have discovered that my mother fucked me over. I really cannot say for sure it was not intentional, either. It pretty much relates to many aspects of my adult life. I want to write her a letter expressing how she has screwed me up in life, but still find it difficult to offend her. The other day I told one of my sisters that she believed in a cult. You can imagine how she reacted. Knowing that none of them will change, is it worth losing them in the process of standing up for myself and my newfound hatred of the Lds faith? A large part of me says yes, but the part of myself that was taught to conform no matter what says no. Thoughts...?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2013 02:21AM by Susan I/S.

I think that's a natural discovery for most people to make. I know I did.

The next discovery I made was that my mom is just a little girl whose body got older. So... whatever. I could have been born with crack in my system so I'll take what I can get...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2013 02:20AM by Susan I/S.

See sticky at the top of the board. :)

How do I delete sub line if I don't login ?

The best revenge is living well. Thats all you need to do.

Word of the wised-up: Seek counsel from a professional before you confront your mother, otherwise you might get hurt again in the process. Until then, just put it all in writing in a "letter" to your mother but don't post it yet. That way, you get it out of your system for the time being.

Don't waste your time thinking your mother didn't know that what she did/said hurt you. If she does the same type of thing repeatedly, it's probably not a coincidence...and even if the hurt is unintentionally inflicted, she lacks the empathy to see what she's done/doing to you. The result on you is the same.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2013 02:21AM by Susan I/S.

It is hard to give advice when the situations are vague, so my best advice is this: Find a friend whose wisdom you trust, tell that friend the details of the situation, and let them advise you.

There are many levels of "fucked over", so some you should confront her for. Others you should seek therapy for. Others you should just forget and move past. Etc...

So, let someone know everything your thinking, and then listen to them.
Not only will you get an informed 2nd opinion, but voicing the entire situation will help you see it more clearly yourself.

Good luck. I wish you the best!

If it's a pattern, you need to distance yourself permanently.
Abusive parents rarely reform.

And for god's sake, keep grandkids away from such people.
An unkind parent will never be a kind grandparent.

But it's helped others, or at least I've heard some people claim it has.

It all depends on what you want from your family once your hatred for the Church has simmered down, I suppose.

And it also really depends on how your parents react to things.

I do believe being a jerk is a valid option.
But most of the time not-being one works out better for me.

Get some informed advice, & make an informed decision. Don't just react, as going off half-cocked rarely works well.

The hatred phase doesn't last, although occasional flareups are indefinite. It is better to get through that phase before deciding how you would like to handle it. I definitely don't mean you should bottle it up though. Let them know what you think, but with class not rancor.

I agree with regular guy. Living well is the best revenge. If they see you happy or at least content in the new life you have built, they will start to see you as whole person outside of their mormon realm---maybe. That worked really well for me.

Includes my parental stuff, which is what brought me to RfM in the first place :)

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,632053,632053