Posted by:
anon123
(
)
Date: January 11, 2011 09:44AM
Thumbelina. There's this scene where there is Thumbelina, two bugs, and the bugs tell Thumbelina that she doesn't belong anywhere. I feel like those bugs are yelling at me right now. Ugh. Got back from Seminary about an hour ago, and since I have started a different perspective on the church, more views have broadened, I'm more conscious of those around me during seminary. I was awake, not hyper, and just chipper, nothing wrong with that. I wasn't going to let being in a church I hate ruin my mood, there are good people inside that church. And class begins, and there's this girl! And we've never hit it off right, and it seemed we've gotten to a point where we can be reasonable, apparently not. *sigh* It starts out a little tense. Had a snow day yesterday. Asked her how her's was. She repeated the words snow day back to me. I was confused, I thought maybe her district didn't get one, and she retorted that she did, she's in the same district as me. So class starts. Teacher asks a question(this poor bloke, but that's another story), and I say "Yea!" Kinda loud, and in a chipper, happy agreeable voice, and you know how seminary is, if you're chipper you're EVIL! Ugh. And a friend that used to be close, snickered next to this girl, I tried to give gestures such as I was embarrassed, and she purposely said something stupid later on, and because it was stupid and on purpose it was ok to not be embarrassed, I let my eye roll slip to her gaze and from what I recall she verbally told me to shut up.
I haven't fit in with my class since day 1. I think subconsciously I knew that. I would leave as soon as we were dismissed and not mingle in the halls. Today I was forced to wait in the halls a little extra due to my ride not arriving yet, and I realized there were groups, and I realized how I wasn't invited to anything, barely acknowledged. I went to online school because I couldn't make good grades, I had a group of friends, but if I truly belonged to all these friends they'd at LEAST comment on my Facebook statuses? Right? It has been a slow realization, but no matter how slow it is, it still hits you like a ton of bricks, when, your church, your school, your family, you realize, you don't belong anywhere.
Now I just gotta go find a mole to marry me off....hmm....
Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 10:29AM by anon123.