Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: January 11, 2011 03:48PM
There is a theory that emotions are tied to physical ailments and if a person, for example, has had repeated bronchial infections for weeks it may be because they need to get something off their chest. While I'd never give up conventional medicine, I'm so tired of being sick I'd run down the street naked at this point to get better so I'm going to try to get a few things off my chest. Feel free to add your list:
1. I hate the way Mormons silence exmos. They are absolutely gifted at being able to bad-mouth you, discredit you, judge you behind your back and leave you almost no way to defend yourself. Most of the time, all you can do is just leave.
2. Secretly, I feel way more sorry for my evil, screaming bishop than I hate him. I did a little research into his background (hey, I used to be a journalist and it's what I do) and he is a far bigger victim of Mormonism than I ever was. Without going into specifics, Mormon teachings have really damaged him and it's truly sad. And he keeps desperately looking to Mormonism to repair the damage. On the other hand, I hate feeling sorry for him because he's still the jackass that yelled at me during his little white-trash meltdown.
3. It's not about forgiving for me - it's about having the chance to see people as they really are, see them with their masks off, and not being able to respect what I see. It's very hard for me to respect the majority of the Mormons in my day-to-day life. Because they are more loyal to a CHURCH than their God or their family or their friends. They break their God's commandments to defend their church and they attack basic human loyalties without a second thought to be loyal to an organization. I don't think my feelings about this will ever change. I can be friendly with them, I'd help them if they needed me but what I can't do is consider them a friend.
4. My two biggest problems with Mormonism is that the church lies and that I don't want to be like the Mormons I know. Attention Mormons: I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!!! Period.
5. I also will not ever be able to forgive the church and it's teachings for conning me into a temple wedding and out of a real wedding with my Daddy walking me down the aisle. Well, the beach actually, at sunset.
6. I think it's beyond creepy the way Mormons target children, especially the children of inactives. They have all kinds of programs and activities and temple trips and Personal Progress/Duty to God books and it's all designed to program people to think like Mormons. And the people in charge show up at YOUR house and tell you what their plans are for YOUR kids and are constantly trying to lure them into the Mormon way of thinking, regardless of the parents beliefs or feelings. The mere fact that they can justify this behavior to themselves is so far beyond sick I can't even find the words to describe it.
7. I want to move to get away from a ward full of people who have an unusually bad sense of boundaries and are really freaking me out because of their two-faced behavior. At the same time, I realize that these are probably really nice, well-meaning people who have been programmed so thoroughly they are doing outrageous things without a clue as to how wrong those things are. The fact that this is even possible is depressing, scary and I wish I knew where the line was between good intentions and good people.
8. It really, really hurt my feelings that not even those people I considered my BEST friends asked me why I wasn't at church. They either didn't care or didn't want to hear or believed the lie that I was offended. I was never offended - I studied my way out. It was an absolute lie but people just made up lies about me without even asking me what the truth was. It was a real slam to my character and not only did my friends not defend me, they didn't even clue me in that I was being trashed like that. They believed a lie about me without even giving me the benefit of the doubt. Who DOES that? What kind of people do that? What kind of friends are those and why did I make friends with people like that? People I would never want to be like ever.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend quality time with my antibiotics and a steamer, on the off-chance the above rant doesn't get everything off my chest that should be off it. Thanks for listening. :)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2011 03:56PM by CA girl.