Princess Diana once said that her epitaph should read "A great hope crushed in it's infancy." I realized that is also why I feel so very sad watching videos of kids opening their mission calls. Watching some of their faces, I see they are very disappointed by where they have been "called to labor." But the ones who are excited are almost harder to watch. Sweden or Thailand or Argentina may sound exotic and exciting but the reality is certainly to be an almighty crash into the wall of "how things truly are." People who don't want to hear their message or living conditions that are beyond their imagination or mission presidents who wield a whip and lay on guilt about numbers. The younger, more naïve missionaries just accentuate the problem. Their hopes are higher, their frame of reference smaller, their world more sheltered. So excited but with no idea of what they are getting into.

And I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who basically had a good mission, bat-shit crazy companions and all. Fairly nice mission president, wonderful country, great people, great learning experience. But I was older, from a part-member family and had travelled. I was more grounded. These kids seem to have stars in their eyes and great hope in their hearts. I hope they can deal with the reality.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2013 11:52AM by CA girl.

Yeah I hear what you're saying. Watching those videos makes me sad too. I couldn't quite figure out why. I do feel a bit of nostalgia when watching because I mostly have fond memories of my own mission (despite the crazy comps and the poor living conditions and all the stiffling rules). But that's not it exactly, it's not the nostalgia that makes me sad, it's what you said.

One girl was so excited because she was going to Frankfurt Germany and I was just thinking, "Don't get excited, you're just going to have doors slammed in your face all day long. You'll be in an amazing country with all this amazing history and art and culture but you won't get to enjoy that part, you'll just be slaving away for a church that no one there cares about and will be looked upon as a silly relgious nut." And the ones who were called to Central and South America might have more baptisms but the living conditions can be quite shocking and hard to deal with. And I was thinking about how so many of them may become disillusioned with the church, which isn't a bad thing, but it's hard and painful nonetheless. And they look so young! The girls especially. I was thinking that 2 years isn't such a big difference in age but really at that age, it is. At 21 I'd already lived in Europe for a semester, I'd been in school for 3 years and I was used to living on my own. I was still very naieve, but I at least had an idea of what it was like to live in a foreign country and was fairly independent (I worked to pay my rent while at school and had a scholarship that covered tuition so my parents didn't help me much). How many of these kids have ever even left Utah? They are in for such culture shock.

fubecona Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You'll be in an amazing country with all this amazing history and
> art and culture but you won't get to enjoy that
> part, you'll just be slaving away for a church
> that no one there cares about and will be looked
> upon as a silly relgious nut."

That's the problem exactly. Even if you get an amazing call to an amazing place, you will not get half the experience you would have because you'll be isolated in slavery to Mormonism, looking silly, looking irrelevant. That isn't to say they won't get to enjoy it to an extent, but their narrow view of life and narrow rule-laden hidey-hole missionaries are forced to live in will handicap them.

I was super naive (I'd never even been on a plane before my mission) & I turned out ok... but I did get married way too young and have kids right away before I finally figured out the church was false... so it isn't like there was no damage.

Many of them will be just fine.
Almost all of them would be better off if they figured out the truth first... but for most the damage wont be devastating.
Unfortunately for some, it will be.

Justrob - do you think the fact they are younger and more naïve will make it harder though?

Sure, it will be harder... but they are also less set in their ways (not much, I mean it's only a year difference) so they might be a little more resilient.

Also, if you are fresh out of HS, you are used to adults telling you what to do and think (parents & teachers), whereas if you've been at college for a year you are more independent. So these younger missionaries might be more willing to actually listen to the people they are trying to teach and accept "no"s for answers.

I dunno... it's hard to say.

Yeah, honestly my mission was a really good thing for me. I had a major "hover mother" and it was good to get out of the next and grow up a little.

Also a lot of the foundation of doubt that eventually led me to leave the church was laid on my mission. (I've also noticed that a lot of the women on this board are returned missionaries.)

With that said - I still strongly agree with CAgirl's point - it is a said thing. One thing I lost by going on my mission was my best friend - my younger brother 17 months younger than I am - we were apart for 3 1/2 years. By the time he got back I was moving forward with my adult life and we have never been close like we were as teenagers.

As far as the "younger" they really aren't going to be that much younger most of the time. They have to wait until after high school - so more like an average of 18 and 4 months. Then I bet there will be a 4-5 month waiting list every May because everyone will all apply at once but the MTC only has so much capacity.

Those who are able to go younger will be kids who have always been the youngest in their class at high school.

So I'd guess, on average, they are only going to go out 3-4 months younger - at least for the boys.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2013 09:24PM by bc.

I agree they have NO IDEA what coming at them, especially people form Utah who've spent little outside of the Morridor. They have no idea people think mormons are wierd or a cult. They have no idea that people live happy productive lives just fine within thier own faith systems.

I didn't think about that aspect but most of them have no idea that most people don't respect Mormons or envy them their happy families and wholesome lives. They don't get that other people have happier families and are better people than Mormons. They think they are ideal and are kind to share their "secret to success" with the non-Mormons. I wonder how many will ever understand that the Mormon way of life isn't truly respected, even if people respect their right to live in a fringe religion.

Yeah I don't think that any TBM gets that. It's only when you see the church for what it really is that you also start to see the world for what it really is as well.

I remember being aware that "outsiders" thought we were weird but I also believed they at least respected our conviction. I didn't realize that people actually find a lot of what Mormons do to be not only weird but even insensitive and/or offensive. I think most of those kids are never going to see that unless they leave the church someday.

The way you put it sounds like me. Definitely naive and stars in my eyes. The mission was tough, no doubt. I survived it though, for better or worse. Ended up losing a bunch of weight, due to stress and illness. Realized a lot of weaknesses, and realized things were definitely not what they seemed.

I wonder what life would have been like had I not gone. I'm not entirely sure its a positive experience I had. Now days, its almost like it never happened, like it was all a big dream and I lost two years being in a deep coma I'll never get back. I was just glad when it was over, honestly.

There are really so many examples of this in the church. I had a really good friend in high school who was so excited about getting accepted to BYU - her and I would talk for hours about all the things we wanted to accomplish in life. BYU was her ticket to changing the world. Within a semester, it was like the ambition was sucked out of her. She still talked about doing great things, but eventually it turned into "things I'll do when my kids have grown up." Last I saw her, she was pregnant with her 4th, and her husband struck me as emotionally abusive.

It really is a horrible shame. Say what you will about the doctrines of the Morg, but the members are capable of being such an unstoppable force of good in the world. They can mobilize at a moments notice and are capable of such great acts of kindness - instead, they limit that kindness to the walls of their ward meeting house. Such a shame.

I had a friend just like that. She ended up marrying a man (a widower) with three kids during her first quarter at byu, and was pregnant six months later. She showed up at my mission farewell 7 months pregnant, shepherding three more kids under the age of 6, and exasperated because her husband was 'serving the Lord' in church meetings all day long and couldn't help her.

She went from a brilliant woman with aspirations for medical school at age 19, to running a household with four kids and an absentee husband at age 20. The guy didn't want a wife, he wanted a nanny with benefits.

I felt sad when I heard about it too. I came from a not very Mormon place and had great non-mo friends in high school who I still keep in contact with, having a mission hanging over my head my senior year would have been such a depressing bummer. They are only changing the age to more effectively railroad these kids.

I totally agree with you.

The positive side is, for those missionaries going to Sweden and such, hopefully a few things will happen.

1. They will be introduced to why what they are selling is false.

2. They might realize that peddling their religion is futile, and they will go see the sights and enjoy themselves!

Reading these posts, I'm more thankful than ever that I got out of the church when I did, and that my kids followed me. Especially for my son, now 23, who went to college four years straight and is in a great career, doing what he wants and living where he wants.