So I went ahead and emailed church records 1.5 weeks ago, requesting my name be removed from the records. Now, mind you, I didn't just do that for peace of mind. I haven't believed in their craziness, or any type of god since I was about 12. I'm now 20. I'm going into a field of science that relies heavily on evolution and I hope to start getting published, well at least referenced, soon. I just don't want anyone to be able to discredit my name by whipping out a list of members with my name on it. This is highly unlikely, but I can't reconcile my knowledge of science with knowing that I'm connected to a church that denies scientific facts and shames working women. So my email requested I not be contacted again, so of course my parents' bishop called me to try to dissuade me. He started out with questions about my work and school, but then of course brought up my request. He tried to insist I talk it over with my parents first, and I said that everything's already been said. Then he started asking why I wanted to do this and I explained in as little detail as possible that I don't believe in a god and I don't want to be connected to the church. Again, he urged me to talk to my parents and I said it was not necessary. He then started talking about how I was the first girl to finish my personal progress and how I was the beehive, mia maid, and laurel president and sat on the stake youth committee. I said that that was years ago. Then he suggested that I simply put myself on the no contact list. I said that wouldn't be necessary, that my mind was made up. FINALLY, he relented and agreed to remove my name. Has anyone else had a bishop be this insistent?

I feel I hear these types of things from women a lot, I get the feeling these idiots feel they can bully women into getting back in line. If they are willing to be that pushy with someone they don't know that well imagine how badly they bully their wives or daughters.

We haven't experienced that, but our bishop and stake pres. wish we would resign and walk away. We talk too much.

I wonder if its mostly single women who get this, bishops may avoid overstepping line in trying to keep someone else wife "in line". If a bishop talked to my wife the way I have heard other women on this board be spoken to he would need a blessing to get my foot out of his ass.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2013 11:46PM by jesuswantsme4asucker.

Would you anoint with the magic olive oil for that? Or is that one of the ordinary blessings? :p

Oh yes, they definitely target unmarried women. When I was 22 I was told I needed a chaperone to camp at a church camp that is open to the public. I brought friends, we had to leave for a different camp. Of course it was mixed company, we were young adults. I wasn't actually together with any of the guys on this trip.

Without the very magical Authority, women just can't be relied upon to have made a rational decision. If no man is backing them up they are no more than a pretty parrot.

+ 1 million.

My wife was worried that someone from the church would come to our door and demand to talk to us about our resignation. I told her that they have no power and she doesn't have to talk to anyone she doesn't want to.

It can be hard to go from thinking bishops are authority figures to realizing that they are just deluded average jackasses.

I wouldn't waste good olive oil on an asshat bishop.

Mormons claim eight year olds are mature enough to choose baptism and know right and wrong. But no one is old enough to choose to leave the mormon church and it's acceptable to call in parents as long as they live. Good grief, the "child" could be sixty and the parents eighty and the bish would still call in the old folks.

I don't know if my bishop would have or not. I am older than you and had already stopped going about 10 years prior. He tried to engage me in conversation but I did not play along.I was hoping NOT to have to talk to him at all but,my cell rang as I was out at the soccer field one day with the kids (still a mystery how he got the cell number)and answered not knowing it was him.After a few attempts at conversation he finally said. "it makes me really sad, but I guess I'll proceed." That would be great, good-bye.

My last bishop said something similar in his letter back to me after I resigned. He was the one who suggested resigning to put a stop to the unwanted calls and visits, but then in his reply to that resignation he was "sad." Well, being sad is a choice, bishop.

My Bishop was someone I'd never even met before, so he had no emotional interest in keeping me in.

But he tried it anyway by stalling, until I nagged him for several months. He did suggest meeting, but I declined the invitation.

I began sending copies of my e-mails to the Stake President and his Executive Secretary. I guess the Bishop thought that if he stalled long enough, I'd just forget about it.

But for once in my life, I put away my shyness and became persistent, until he finally said, "Well, obviously you've thought about this a lot and you're not going to change your mind," and he got it done.

I think we women often have to work harder to get out. It took me 5 months. They seem to have become more efficient at removing people now, thank goodness.

Is there any other kind?

The bishop in the OP was completely out of line in every way. What a jerk, although as we know from other stories on the board his attitude is only too typical.

I'm a single woman old enough to be the OP's mother and went through something similar with the bishop when I resigned. He and the SP held up my paperwork for several months. They were convinced, even after my resignation was finally processed, that they could bully me back into activity and tithe-paying.

They are instructed to do this. To use every tactic they can think of to manipulate your emotions and get you to change your mind.

Normal churches don't do this. They respect your decision and simply process the paperwork and wish you well.

Kindy wacko that he kept telling you to talk to your parents. Uhm, hello you're 20, not 12.

Congrats on sticking to your convictions!

Most normal churches don't even keep paperwork. You don't like your church, you just stop going to it. No harm, no foul, no stalking visits from so-called authority figures. You don't hear about Catholics, Presbyterians, Methodists, or Baptists keeping detailed records on people and then tracking them down, do you?

Thanks for the reminder - and good luck with your career!

Well, of course they're supposed to be there to help you resign, should you request it. But each bishop is different, and some are far more qualified than others to be in their respective positions. Yours is an ass, mine was not.

As a female, you are an important component to the Morg. You represent a breeding lab that will now not produce more bots for the Morg. I admire you for breaking out. I remember. All the smart girls in school strived for good grades so they could get a scholarship to BYU. Better breeding stock.

Haha he IS a nice guy usually, but it was a super uncomfortable conversation.

I was reading your story and I was totally impressed that a young man, just 20 years old, had the cajones to stand up to a jerk bishop....then I read Beehive and Miamaid and caught myself being even more impressed that a young woman, just 20 years old, had the ovaries to stand up to a jerk bishop....then I realized...why should it make a difference?

I'm still impressed with you. I'll keep working on myself.

Thankfully no. "My" bishop, who I've never met, called to ask if I had any questions regarding my decision to which I replied, "none what so ever" and he said he'd waive the usual 30 day waiting period and process my request ASAP. He's a doctor and handled it in a professional manner...the way all bishops should.

Ron Burr

Good for you! He was trying to bully you into recanting and you stood up to him!!

He was insistent, because you kept the conversation going. Or at least allowed him to continue.

He was a telemarketer for LDS Inc. You don't need to listen to his "renew your subscription" speech.

But hey, it's in the past now. Mission accomplished.

My "annoying convo" was with the Stake President. We dated in High School 100+ years ago. So he felt free to be overly familiar with his advice. I was recently divorced so he felt comfortable stepping in and being my "priesthood presence." (Blech and a full body shiver) But it's over and done and the Freedom letter is hanging on my wall. It's all good, very very good now. Hopefully it will be that way for you too.

Nope. They made zero effort to get me to change my mind - well, I guess that's understandable in my case.