My girlfriend is about as straight laced and goody goody as could possibly be. She doesn't swear, smoke or drink, and only occasionally drinks coffee. She works out every day (sometimes with me in toe) and goes to sacrament meeting every Sunday (sometimes with me in toe). She's taking an institute class that I sometimes sit in on, which is actually kind of a blast, because I know WAY more about the Bible and it's history than these 20 somethings with no real education on religion.

She has also had he inpropriaties, especially with her last boyfriend, who is currently serving a mission. He went on the mission in order to impress her, and she encouraged him to go, in order to find "the spirit." When he was gone she met me, and she broke things off pretty quickly. And he is pissed. He told his mission president that they had done "things" earlier in their lives which he has not atoned for, and neither has she. The mission president told him to give her this ultimatum: either go yourself to the stake president and repent, or he will call the president and force her hand. She was appaled that something like this could happen in such a holy organization! I kinda giggled, because of course this sort of stuff happens! All the time. They want to shame her into giving up all the juicy details about two horny kids who did some..whatever they did. She's really hurt by all this, but it's just another example of how this church destroys those who do not walk in lock step.

Wow what a jerk! talk about spiritualblackmail. Is she old enough to leave her family? Im assuming shes young. I think he can do it. From a spiritual point I dont know how confession underderess works. Being a minor who hasnt been through the temple I doubt they could do much. But if she confesses Id take a supportve adult with her so the bis. doesnt get too creepy about it.

I'd like to ad a P.S.If he hadnt atoned for them either,he maybe in more trouble than her! But in either case if this were a christian church I thought Jesus was suposed to. Eitherway fornacation isnt in the ten commandments!

Mormons don't understand or respect appropriate social boundaries.

My DD's BF was in the MTC and succumbed to the pressure of "confess all sin or the spirit won't be with you and you'll be a failure as a missionary". He confessed to some heavy petting with DD. The asshat he confessed to called up my DD on her cell - keep in mind that he had never met her and knew nothing about her - put her on speaker phone with BF in the room and proceeded to grill her about the details of their personal relationship to "confirm" the sin! What a perv!

He instructed her to confess to her bishop and accept whatever punishment he deemed appropriate. Then he told them both that a GA would have to decide if BF would have to leave the MTC or be allowed to remain. (Two weeks later the GA decided he could stay.)

She was hysterical for days. She was certain that all her Mormon friends would find out and think she was a slut - for normal young adult behavior? I shudder to think what a girl who was less stable or was without any emotional support might have done.

When I was a member of TSCC, I saw this a lot. These girls would date guys, send them off on their missions and find someone else. In this case, the g/f went outside the church.

Just look around, there are probably more girls than boys. She is showing 'him' (the misshy b/f) that she can do a little missionary work too. I have seen these things 'blow up.' Misshy b/f comes back and see little Molly Mormon, either engaged or married. So all of a sudden, he finds Molly Mormon II.

If she and her 'misshy' b/f did anything or not, who knows? I was a bishop's daughter and did all my Father's paperwork. There were a lot of girls and guys that would claim during those 'worthiness' sessions that they were a pure as the driven snow, I knew better as I was the 'wild' one and was always taking some girl to planned parenthood to get pills. Then again, my confidence was something that was never breached, the 'secret' word got around; I had a reputation to protect.

I would tell your girlfriend to cut all contact with her missionary, because he is being no friend to her at all.

That church leaders would share confessions and essentially nark on another person who hasn't personally confessed yet seems to be pretty standard practice in the Mormon church. I remember I had a roommate who fooled around with his girlfriend. She confessed to her Bishop and he told my roommate's bishop. My roommate's bishop called him into his office to talk about the sin.

When I was in the MTC I wrote a letter to my MTC mission president confessing my "sins" because I was too ashamed to tell him face to face just before I left to the field. Instead of calling me up after I got to the field, he simply read off the letter to my new mission president.

The LDS church has NO boundaries and gets into EVERYONE'S business and does stuff a regular church would NEVER do. When you are Mormon you pretty much give up any of your rights.

When the Church says, "Don't do this or that," they mean, "DON'T do it." It's not just a Guideline. It's meant to be a law. And yeah, they play hard ball.

It could go both ways. A lot of individuals--probably mostly male--just deny it and say it isn't so. Either way, a bishop or stake president never have to have any evidence at all that anything happened, and can excommunicate someone based on heresay. If the SP dork actually comes for her, she should certainly at first tell him that she can't account for the missionary's fantasies, and knows nothing about this.

Do mormons ever grow up and become adults ?

she should do the same.

You wrote:
"The mission president told him to give her this ultimatum: either go yourself to the stake president and repent, or he will call the president and force her hand."

She should her boyfriend and anyone else who tries to contact her, that her "worthiness" is between her and the Lord. SHE will be the judge of what she does or doesn't need to confess. If they try to violate her privacy OR her agency, she should go to press and expose the church for the controlling, personally invasive, and manipulative organization that it is. She should save any correspondence he makes to her.

I DO believe that many people would be interested in this story, and that she could hide her identity (at least from the general population, if not her ex and his MP). I venture to say that virtually EVERYONE who isn't Mormon would be outraged by her story. Privacy of confessions is an assumed right.

Bad press is the one thing the church fears most. Funny, public exposure is also something that reigns in other abusers I have known.