Today at lunch time, I was walking across campus to go to one of the dining halls for lunch when I spotted 2 missionaries coming toward me. For years, I used to go out of my way to avoid them, still having some sort of LDS, Inc fear that I'll "get in trouble" if they talk to me, but today I was feeling great. I went out of my way to make eye contact with them - they stopped to talk to me. I cut them off on their introduction and said that I wasn't interested, but told them where I was going and asked if I could buy them lunch. They both looked like I had just offered them a wallet full of money and eagerly accepted.

The whole way to lunch, the senior companion kept trying to turn the topic of conversation to religion. Finally I had enough: "Look elder, I used to be a member of your church, so I don't need you to teach me anything. I didn't invite you to lunch to have a religious conversation, I just know that you guys don't always get a good meal, so I want to be a friend to you. I'll buy you lunch, but religion is off limits. As long as you don't try to convert me, I promise I won't try to deconvert you." He looked a little butthurt, but the junior companion seemed to think this was a very reasonable request. I spent the rest of the walk joking around with him and getting to know him - he seemed like a genuinely nice kid...

We had lunch and had a pretty good time. The senior companion kind of struck me as a prick, but he was civil. After I was finished eating, I excused myself to go to the restroom before we left. When I got back, my rage approached Old Testament levels. The senior companion was going through my coat, looking for anything that had my name and address on it. I confronted him about it and he seemed very pleased with himself. He told me that as a representative of the Lord, it was his responsibility to do all he could to bring me "back to the Kingdom of God." After a brief, but fairly unpleasant exchange, I told them that it would be a good idea for them to put as much distance between them and me as they could before I reported them to the campus police (at which point he made some arrogant remark about me trying to fight the word of God...of course, he recited that stupid Joseph Smith quote about the word of God going boldly - I got tired of listening to I started to pretend to look for the campus police number in my phone)

Looking back, I probably brought this on myself. I really wanted to do something nice for them, because I know that somewhere (probably out west) there's a family that is thinking about those guys are hoping that they are alright. Just because I think their church is a crock, I thought I could at least do something nice for the guys that are setting their lives back 2 years to do what they think is right. Some in the Mormon church would probably call the missionaries actions "bold" - I call them disrespectful, unethical, and a complete invasion of privacy...a perfect summary of that stinkhole of a church.

This is why people don't like Mormons.

goes unpunished

What a class A pr**k. How typical of self righteous mobots. You had every right to be P Offed.

I'd have socked him, personally. Rifling through a coat like a petty thief.

Wow, what a back stab.

So unethical. That kid's lucky he didn't get his face rearranged.

Go and be gracious, sparty. But remember that the hand that grabs is the hand that stabs.

He's probably very tired of living with Elder Asshat and was pleased to see him get a lesson in manners from a former member!

What a good thing you did! The Jr. Comp got to see some one with brains who left. He also got to see that doing illegal/unethical things is wrong. or at least his companion got called on it.

Very good. Some children just can't stand being told NO.
Lots of people seem to think NO means you'll have to wheedle and whine to get yes, or you will have to ask again to get yes, or the "No" really meant 'maybe' which will be a 'yes' soon.

It is so interesting to watch meltdowns from immature adults who are not aware that there are boundaries and they will be kept!
You also have at least one grateful man who really appreciated lunch and probably didn't get to thank you like he'd have liked because his Sr. comp dragged him away.....

Wow what a freakin jerk. It wasn't like you had to go out of your way to give them a decent meal. I am sorry that you had to go through all of this just to be a nice person. I know that as a college student, it is not like you have a lot of money to shell out whether it was from your indivilual meal plan or out of your own pocket.

Maybe I am just imaging this, but don't the missionaries have some rule about being thankful and polite when invited to have a meal with someone whether it was a member of the TSCC or an investator?

Wow, what a jerk.

that comes from thinking yer better than others and that you know better than anyone else and it sometimes has bad results. That kid probably has convinced himself that what he was doing was justified— even admirable and is patting himself on the back about it.

So young and so stupid.

Wow!! what a jerk!! I would have lost it! The thing is with all their manipulations lies and boundry isuess its a wonderder anybody joins and how they can consider them selves Gods church!

It sounds like this guy is a holier-than-thou-pushy-rude-wheyfaced-mealy mouted-Peter-Priesthood from a previous post...

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,791663

I appreciate the feedback, everyone. I was sort of afraid that I was over-reacting by threatening to call the police on them.

I should probably point out that out of all the experiences I've ever had with LDS, Inc Salesmen (and there have been many), this bozo was by far the most unpleasant. It wasn't all that long ago that I was a member of the church (less than 10 years) - about that time, I was the missionaries' age, so I enjoyed hanging out with them. I've always enjoyed how genuine most missionaries seem to be - when you do something nice for them, you can tell that you have honestly made their day...I love that, and I enjoy being a friend to kids who are met with a lot of hostility on a daily basis. I'm not bigging an LDS mission up, but I can honestly say that I never would have been able to last a full 2 years of doors slamming in my face and anger hurled at my direction. I admire kids for volunteering for that kind of abuse. The pressure to go on a mission was one of the things that actually pushed me out of the church.

I noticed that there was no friendly joking between the missionaries like there always seemed to be back when I'd hang out with them - the Sr. companion almost seemed like he was trying to be a "teacher" for the junior companion and I.

Kids like this are why the missionary system is extremely flawed. There is such a pressure to produce and "be valiant" that kids will overstep their bounds (afterall, they are doing it for Jesus) and see no wrong in it whatsoever. It is also a system where young kids - fresh out of their high school open house - are told that they are in a position of authority over all of us non-believers in "the mission field."

I've toyed with the idea of calling the mission office and reporting the elder, but I'm going to drop it. I have no interest in possibly getting the junior companion in any sort of trouble. I guess as long as I don't get any local ward members tapping on my door, I'm really not out anything (I have an employee meal plan at the dining hall - their lunch really only cost me a couple swipes on my ID card for the week).

Change the situation just a little:

Not a missionary that you just bought lunch for, but rather: you get back from the restroom and see a stranger going through your pockets.
Would you have any qualms about calling the police on that guy?

No, you didn't overreact to a stranger is going though your belongings.

Seriously, don't invite them in and give them free access to your home or leave your coat or school books with them when you're not there to watch.

The guy was a dishonest jerk.

HE WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR THINGS?! You generously paid for a meal and offered good conversation and and he came back at you by going through your pockets?! What an unbelievable clod, self-righteous little pecker head, just when you think you've heard it all. I echo caedmom, there's a reason nobody likes Mormons. I'm floored!

The senior comp SHOULD be reported. It's certainly possible that the junior might get into trouble, but it's equally possible that he's fed up with the senior prick and might be able to defend himself to the MP.

I know that mission presidents usually eat up the self-righteousness of pecker-heads like the senior prick. The junior companion seemed like he was extremely green and just trying to stay out of trouble (when I got up to go to the restroom was the last time he made eye contact with me - after I came back, he just kept his eyes on the table). I would just be spinning my wheels if I tried reporting him to the mission office - he seems like a smooth-talker when he's "among the saints."

I agree. The jerk should be reported to his "superiors" AND to campus police. The campus police need to be made aware that the harmless looking missionaries on their campus aren't as harmless as they seem.

I'll probably call the director of campus housing tomorrow. There has been a very lax rule about soliciting in the dorms that is rarely enforced (which is why there are actually 2-3 sets of missionaries assigned to campus) - I'll let them know what's going on and encourage them to think about enforcing the rule (if the missionary had no problem going through my things, what's to say he wouldn't do the same in someone's dorm?). I'll try and hit him where it hurts.

What a prick! Someone buys him lunch and he repays them by illegally going through their personal belongings. He deserved to be reported.

Wow, what an ass! I would be reporting him to anyone I could, campus officials and the mission office. Maybe even make up a story about how you were starting to warm up to the idea of coming back to the church, but because of Elder Asshole, you will never rejoin :)

That's like blaming yourself for your own rape, sparty. This is wholly unacceptable. Go to the top rope, inform the mission president, campus police, write a letter to the local or campus paper and cc the proper church "authorities."

The guy was very rude, but he did not commit a crime.

I'm not even sure thats true. Going through his things without his permission with the intent to steal his personal information? Sounds like it should be illegal to me!

I'm not a law enforcement officer, and I don't know where this happened, but I'm pretty sure going through someone's coat to look for their name and address after they just bought you lunch is not a crime. Certainly not anything like rape, which it was compared to. It is very rude. No reason to act like an act of rudeness is anything more than that. Of course, if the missionaries are not supposed to be on campus, that might be against the rules. But that's a different story.

What nonsense. Most crimes are less serious than rape which doesn't mean it's fine to commit illegal acts. Good grief.

Yes, you're right. He should have called the campus police and have the missionary arrested for looking through his coat to try to find his name and address. Since the missionary did not have a search warrant, I'm sure he would have been found guilty of coat touching and thrown in jail. It's a terrible crime, although as you say not as bad as rape.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2013 02:42AM by Cheryl.

Great. How about we give him the keys to your house and let him watch a little TV while he waits for you to get home.

Sparty, I would report him. If his attitude is that he has carte blanche to do whatever he wants because he's MormonHeavenlyFather's servant, you won't be the last person whose stuff he rifles through. He would have stolen your information if he had found it. Some people want to minimize his actions because he was "just" going through your pockets. That's no different than going through a woman's purse.

Those same people would probably say that NO Mormon missionary would ever use your information for nefarious purposes, which is similar to the ridiculous belief that a temple-recommend holder would never perpetrate fraud on members of his ward/stake/church.

Not sure if you're in a metropolitan area or small town, but the arrogant jacka$$ does that to the wrong person in the wrong part of town and he's gonna find himself face-to-barrel with a gun and it will be the nice junior companion that gets hurt. Arrogant jacka$$e$ seem to emerge unscathed from dangerous situations they create.

You sound like a really kind person. You didn't over-react. Report him.

What he did was illegal.

Yeesh...this is why I am generally disinclined to get involved with even seemingly nice missionaries.