Just today we were visiting my husbands grandparents in the hospital and I had a panic attack.

I have a panic attack every time I am in a hospital.

I cannot function if I hear an ambulance siren. I literally freeze and break down(even while driving).

I constantly have nightmare flashbacks about my dad's and my accident.

I'm sorry if this post is random or doesnt make sense. I am still a bit shaky, we just got back from the hospital.

I was completely traumatized by an event that occurred when I was 11, I am now 23. I never received help for it though the courts did set aside money for me to recieve therapy. My parents didn't want to put me through the trauma again.

If my husband doesn't call me right after work, I panic that he could have been in an accident. My phone is by my side day and night, just in case.

My husband mentioned wanting to get a motorcycle, for economical reasons, and I had a breakdown. It terrified me beyond belief.

I admit to being permanently damaged and this life event still effects me today. I cannot function when the memories come.. Is this possibly PTSD?

P.S. I did not post details about the accident because I have before. If someone wants to know they can look at last posts or ask.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2013 05:00PM by fidget.

Whether it is or not, I think it could help for you to get some therapy. It's obviously affecting your life in a negative way.

I'm sorry, fidget. Trauma is quite common. If you want to know, follow the link below, download, fill out, and score the checklist. 50 or above is a solid PTSD score and if the number is lower it can still indicate you'd benefit from some help. I use a similar checklist all the time at work.

http://www.mirecc.va.gov/docs/visn6/3_PTSD_CheckList_and_Scoring.pdf



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2013 08:41PM by robertb.

Thank you. I am feeling very lost right now. I will take this test.

I hope it helps bring some clarity. Let me know if you need anything explained. Some of the questions are less than crystal clear.

Also, take care of yourself, good food, water, some sleep if you can. Hang out with trusted friends. If you can relax and just ride through the emotions and let them pass, that will help. It's easier said than done, though.

My score qaulifys...so I guess I do.

I'm sorry, fidget. Better to know what you are dealing with, though. There is a lot you can do. I second the advice to get counseling and to consider medication. Try to stay away from the anti-anxiety medications, though. I am talking about the benzodiazepines. They are addictive with long-term use and can sometimes make the anxiety worse. The SSRI medications can help as can Buspar, which is an anti-anxiety med but not a benzodiazepine. PTSD can improve a lot and become manageable.

*hugs* to you.

But there is help available and it doesn't have to run your life. :) (hug)

Thanks love. (hugs) back :)

I was diagnosed with a panic attack when I had a sort of heart attack or something. I got an angiogram in the emergency room, but they found no blockage. So later the doctor blamed it on "a probably panic attack." I still don't have a clue about what he meant. I didn't feel panicky. I felt like I was having a heart attack.

Panic disorder typically responds fairly well to antidepressant treatment, as well as to cognitive-behavioral therapy. The symptoms, including agoraphobia, can be extremely disabling. Anti-anxiety Meds (eg, Valium, Xanax, klonopin) are generally not a good long-term solution, and can worsen the long-term course of the disorder. Propranolol can assist with the panicky symptoms, but doesn't work as well long-term as antidepressants.
Thanks for posting the civilian version of the PTSD scale-I wasn't aware it existed.

I have seen people do well with Propranolol and also with Pazosin. They are certainly worth talking to a doc or psychiatrist about.

My first few panic attacks were like you describe, I didn't feel anxious at the time.
I have never really received treatment, but gradually I began to experience the anxiety in my life instead of, I don't know... burying it until it came out in a humongous panic attack.
I feel more anxious these days, and still have panic attacks, but they don't make my lips turn blue or put me on the floor unable to see. Being more aware of my mounting stress levels helps me take a bit of preventative action so things don't get so bad.
I'll take a pass on the crushing chest pain, but I should probably get help for my current stress levels as it is.
I have been evaluated by paramedics during the don't-feel-stressed-feel-like-I'm-dying episodes.

Fidget, get some help. There is no reason for you to go through your life like this. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong to get help when something is more than you can handle on your own. Don't wait any longer - call on Monday. Your emotional health is too important to postpone.

If finances are an issue, check with your local domestic violence shelter and find out if there is a women's resource organization in your area. Catholic Social Services also offers counseling at reduced rates for those who need help. Also, if you live near a University that has graduate studies in psychology or social work, they often give very reduced rates to see a graduate student who has completed all their course work but does not have the hours for their licensing yet. Check them out.

Hugs and best wishes, you do not have to live like this!

Thank you for your support!

Do you have all your limbs?

Is there anyone who has more pain than you?

Has anyone ever been more scared than you have?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions - fuck your feelings - they don't count.

Ok, RJ, really?

Either you are subverting a tremendous amount of pain that you probably need treatment to deal with or you are really just an a@#.

I prefer to believe the former, so, here's my response to a previous thread that got ridiculous. Take it however you want, but come on, a little compassion wouldn't hurt. Bullying is wrong, whether you're PC or not.

Trying to say that the pain of someone who has lost a child doesn't matter because there are people who have lost their entire families, or that the pain of someone who breaks a leg because there are people who have lost a leg doesn't matter, or the pain of someone who was hit with a stick as a child doesn't matter because some people were hit with chairs, is so ludicrous as to make the assumption completely unreal and immaterial.

Here's the link, text copied below.
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,804216


Ok, sorry, but I have to respond to the previous threads.

Come on folks (not directed to anyone in particular, so calm down!), this is NOT A CONTEST! It is not about who has been hurt the most - what a ridiculous thing to compare. Any damage is too much, so let's just acknowledge that we all have our own issues and are not perfect. We don't have the right to judge anyone else, much less decide if their experience has been traumatic or not!

This is supposed to be a supportive place where people who have been hurt by Mormonism in any way can share their feelings and traumas about any issue they are dealing with. Everyone should be able to share their own feelings/experiences/traumas without worrying about their issues being belittled.

NONE of us can ever totally understand or know what is going on inside another person. We are all different and have different backgrounds. Something that one person may be able to shrug off could very easily be so traumatic to another person that it could cause serious emotional trauma. Making light of someone else's problems is not only rotten, it's arrogant and judgemental, something most of us abhore in many experiences with TSCC.

Being an ex-mo or never-mo does not mean we all have to agree on everything and be the same - remember, that's one of reasons we participate/lurk/post on this site.

So, let's not be hypocrites, ok? If this ticks you off, you need to stop and think honestly before you start writing the hate posts, but if you have to in order to deal, well, I can take it, so go ahead.

The remarks I made were actually from another poster who directed them towards me. The whole PTSD firestorm started because I posted about mine and another poster discounted all of my feelings and experiences.

Hence me using them as a joke towards Fidget. She was there and would get the joke.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2013 11:58PM by Raptor Jesus.

I got the joke :)

RJ is being sarcastic. It's gallows humor. He feels others' pain--which doesn't always help him.

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/25/2013 12:28AM by liminal state.

Hey, Raptor Jesus, I don't know if you'll see this, but I went back and found your original post and I am really sorry for totally misjudging your post and calling you out completely out of context - that will teach me to go off of a continued post without reading the original. Lesson learned. At any rate, serious apologies and I hope you are doing well.

Have to say though (Without being directed at you!!), I totally stand by the rest of what I said!

And I appreciated your post as well.

My apologies, RJ - I didn't see the original post and obviously missed the joke. Have to say, when I read your post I was really surprised and disappointed after reading your other posts in the past - glad to know I was totally off base here - sorry for the undeserved smack!!!

You easily could be having PTSD related problems. I was having some issues, and finally I mentioned some childhood abuse to my doctor, and it was like a light went on in his head. He sent me to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with PTSD, proscribed medication, and had me get counseling. My life did a 180, and I am so much happier and healthier now. There is definite hope.

Hang in there fidget. Thinking of you :)

I spent about a decade living with an abusive spouse, and at the same time, working for The Manager from Hell (and living in constant terror of being unemployed after going through a disastrous divorce and having NO safety net.) I was certain that I would end up on the streets.

I scored "positive" on your test, robertb, and it wasn't a surprise.

I take Prazosin to suppress the nightmares, and for me, it has proven to be a wonder drug. I may get mildly unpleasant dreams from time to time, but they are NOTHING like the terrifying monstrosities that used to wake me up shaking, crying, heart hammering.

I have been on both Ambien and Xanax for years. From everything I've read, it is irresponsible of the doctor to let a patient stay on stuff like this as maintenance. However, over the years, I have not needed increasing amounts of the stuff to get the same effect. They allow me to sleep, and this, in turn, allows me to function more or less normally. It works. So I'm not about to rock the boat.

I also had no idea that I had PTSD. I was in denial about the extent of my older brother's abuse, and I thought divorcing my wife-beating husband would erase that horror. I moved forward in my life, married an old college sweetheart, had children, was happy....

Still, I had a recurring nightmare which would make me scream out loud. It would horrify my husband and children.

It hit me 15 years later, when a series of stressful events occurred. I would get anxiety attacks. Often, I thought I just had indigestion, or something. Now, I know that my emotional attacks often take a physical form. Also, if I get sick for real, I panic about that, and think I'm going to die. You mentioned that you have a chronic illness. That could be a trigger for you. Stay as healthy as possible! Talk yourself down, by remembering that doctors, nurses, family, friends, the internet, your pets are all here to help and comfort you--even at 3:00 in the morning. I'm doming out of a panic attack right now, having difficulty breathing with the flu.

It helps to know what's happening to you. I don't like drugs, so I wander around the house, look out the windows, answer e-mails, read. TV drives me up the wall. It helps to change your immediate environment, such as to go outside, go into the garage, go for a walk. I often breathe into a paper bag. The yoga breathing exercises help, too.

Having a professional diagnosis helps a great deal! I am seeing a good cognitive-behavioral therapist, and I am a new person. I sought help because I thought I might be depressed, but my problem was anxiety. None of the antidepressants worked.

Don't despair; there is hope for you. I got over my fear of flying, fear of being stalked (I was actually stalked), fear of confrontation, fear of getting into a car alone with a man (not good for dating), fear of disease, fear of pain, fear of death (leaving Mormonism cured that for me). My abusers still tried to be part of my life, and I had to assert myself, and keep them away from me and my children. My abusers are very manipulative, and they think that the Mormon church is on their side.

Anyway, the difficult part of getting over PTSD, for me, was facing the abuse, and confronting the abusers. The rest of it was exciting and rewarding. The world will open up to you. You will meet new, kinder, people. There are many adventures ahead for you. (((hugs)))

Thank you for everyone for you advice and kind words.