A one of my TBM relatives got a mission "call" and started bugging my child to get together to learn more about the language my child happens to be interested in, and I decided to let said family member that we were not going to be able to attend their farewell, and that my position is that missions to proselytize Mormonism to other cultures are not something I'm in favor of, and a general statement as to why - but still wishing said family member well, etc.

So, within a few days, news of my communication spread to everyone in the extended family, and about five of them promptly dropped me from Facebook, and probably from their lives, the evil person I am for having decided to be a truth seeker!

I had tried to word my communication as politely and simply as possible. My reason for going ahead with it was I am tired of their constant insistence that Mormonism is the only path for us, when as an adult, I've clearly chosen a different path. And further, that their insistence that no responses or rebuttals to their "church"s incessant preaching and proselytizing to the world is acceptable. How is that fair, that they can send out missionaries everyone and focus entire family reunions on Mormonism, without taking into consideration that others have a different pov? To me, this proved how deep the brainwashing goes and/or shallowness of TBMs.

As long as you're on the right side of the fan . . . . :p Good for you taking a stand. It's not easy.

it doesn't seem to matter how rational and calmly you explain yourself to a TBM, does it? They just don't get it and probably never will.

after all, it's Be Nice to Ferrets Day!

Well, at least you now know for sure which friends/relatives are worthy of your time.

...do what is right let the consequence follow.

And you most certainly did what is right for which I applaud you.

Good for you. The time comes to say, "enough is enough".

Iz just a weenie dog but believe you me them ankle bites can be awfully painful!

Way to go. Good point about Mormonism being a one way street.

It's their way or the highway.

They can dish it but they can't take it.

You find out who your true friends are, that's for sure. It's the true ones you want to keep. The other brats can fall off the map. You're better off without them. What's left are the good eggs, which isn't such a bad thing.

I guess they can't tolerate any disagreement. They are behaving like children who gather up all their toys and go home in a huff. They don't want to play with you anymore!

I don't think so...in fact, I would argue that the line in the sand was drawn by the author of the OP. At least according to how the situation was described. If it was necessary to stress the point that your child may not be serving a mission, such a thing could be done in better ways. There is a lot to complain about Mormon culture, but from time to time it would be good for the RFM community to analyze and improve their behavior as well.

The point is, a line was drawn, and nobody should be surprised that those who found themselves on the other side of the line, stuck to the boarders on their side as well! Certainly if a family member said, "we wish you well on your marriage, but we don't support non-Temple marriages, therefor we won't be attending your service", the posters here would be all over that message. The same, I believe, applies to this situation as well. It's important to choose your battles wisely.

A mind is like an umbrella, it ain't worth a damn until it opens.

The ones who deleted me have shown their true colors. I understand they think I was harming their TBM mission child by speaking up - but it did show how closed-minded and one sided they are, and that they can't fathom that anyone's opinion but their own is valid!

I was a little surprised to get a pleasant email back from another one of the rellies, who asked for clarification - who is usually extremely pushy and often insensitive. I gave the clarification, and instead of a nasty reply, got a positive one. I wonder if it's genuine ...

If the child (CHILD) going on a mission can't handle it, he's in for one rough ride. Mommy won't be there to shelter him either.

I had to deal with a similar issue on a much smaller scale this week. It hurts to find out that people's affection for you only extends as far as your willingness to agree with them in their ignorance.

You can't control how mormons react in these kinds of situations. It's hard but best to let them wallow and complain until they're worn out and possibly ready to be civil. They're the ones choosing this behavior, not you.

When you polarize yourself, you create a polar opposite. I know of nobody personally more polarized than my TBM family members. They want to live in a state of perfect polarity--God vs Devil. They are so determined that when someone drops out of their Mormon mental state, they immediately assign that person to the Devil.

In retaliation, we exmos often polarize ourselves and come to hate the Mormon model. I freely admit that I have done that. I'm not perfect, and it is all about self-preservation.

I find you're damned if you do, damned if you don't with TBMs. I was silent for the last 10 years and said very little to anyone unless someone asked - but being silent still created a lot of mistrust and fear.

Figured it made more sense to be open, but in as respectful a way as possible - but even that has caused the majority of them to be upset. You guys predicted that would happen! I just felt it was time to speak up as a way to explain why most TBM family functions and announcements are irrelevant to us. It's not fair to us that we have to act like we're excited or interested in their TBM stuff - if it is generally offensive and doesn't serve anyone.

They like to think that missions are doing "service" for the greater good but they are purely cult salespeople, to help a corporation earn more dividens.

I had something similar happen this week. I lost a bunch of family on Facebook when I outted myself publicly on Facebook. The TBMs seem to take my criticisms as attacks and not as talking points on which to debate. I think that the reason for this is that it has a sting of truth in it that they don't want to confront.

Once I announce that I think that the church is a dangerous fraud, I am going to feel very tempted to wait for people to post things that are pro LDS on their walls, and then ask why they are attacking my beliefs. If nothing else, it could be fun to irritate them and throw their usual anti-ex-Mormon tactic on its head.

I thought so, too- that they are a little like school kids who take their toys home (Na, na na na na!)

I mean, where is the adult conversation and rational discussion - ability to "agree to disagree" etc.?

I guess... there is none???

There is this mentality that has led them to believe that their respect for others' beliefs only need to be extended to those whose beliefs don't threaten their own. Oddly enough, they don't feel that people who never believed are threatening, but those who once believed and decided that they don't believe any longer are a serious threat. They feel betrayed by people who stop believing and that betrayal is somehow personal. Of course, if it's personal, people feel justified in any sort of bad behavior so long as it vindicates their hurt feelings.

Well sure. If you believed, and you left, maybe you had a reason, maybe it was valid, NONONONONO can't consider that. Must become hostile instead. Classic cog dis.

I put up with a lot of Mormon garbage, but when they harassed and abused my children, I drew the line! Clearly, this missionary was trying to engage and recruit your child.

WTG, ABC! You have my full support!