Posted by:
MCR
(
)
Date: March 13, 2013 12:50PM
Marital sex can be really, really risky. The longer a woman is married the greater the chance she will completely shut down sexually. It is not because she's got ZERO sexual response, unless she's seriously ill. Wanting sex is as basic as wanting food--except for women.
You've got to understand that in most places in the world, women's sexuality is really hated, feared, and suppressed by the powers that be, i.e., men. And one of those places, most definitely, is Utah. Mormon culture hates women's sexuality. A well-socialized women, and particularly a well-socialized Mormon woman, also hates her sexuality. (And not just Mormonism, most cultures and religions hate women's sexuality too).
Many women have so repressed their sexual desire they're completely dissociated from it. It's bad to want sex, so sexual desire is twisted into wanting to be attractive. (It's no accident SLC is in the highest ranks of cities for most plastic surgery). But to close the deal, the woman has to be psychologically forced in some way, because to seek sex, to be the active participant, to want it, is to be extremely bad, nasty, and unclean. Consequently, women who've never been sexually abused feel the same way as those who have been, because even to have sex, in any context, lawful or not, is to be forced, abused.
If some pre-teen made you read the Twilight trilogy, you know the main romance finally culminates in marital sex that's so "good" all of the furniture in the bedroom gets broken apart by the couple's throwing each other around. Passionate sex,lawful sex, is equated with violent sex, by a female author, and her female readers. Think about that.
So when a woman is having rebellious, pre-marital sex, she may be able to go for it. But as she becomes more comfortable and normal in marriage, the fact that in order to engage in sex she must be raped in some way begins to really wear on the woman. This situation is extraordinarily painful for both parties.
The only solution is the one suggested by the previous poster--an apparently great lover--who's got confidence in all women's inner freak. Express love all of the time, not just sexually--especially not just sexually. The woman has got to gradually drop the shell, lose her life-long socialization. It's not an easy process. Just remember, it's not her fault. It's the fault of the deeply misogynistic society she was raised in and still lives in.
Think about this: Mormon's didn't allow blacks in the priesthood; Stanford, in protest, refused to play BYU because BYU's football team discriminated against its black players by not allowing them the priesthood. Other schools joined the boycott, a tax issue arose, and a revelation followed.
On the other hand, right now, a conclave is going on to choose the leader of the world's largest religion. No woman is allowed to be chosen or even to participate. Period. Do you think if only white men were allowed in the conclave there would be a hew and cry around the world? Of course there would. If men of color were not allowed to be clerics in the Catholic Church there would be protests everywhere. Women aren't allowed in the priesthood in the Catholic Church or the Mormon Church. Does anyone care? Is Stanford boycotting? Nope.