I'll start off with a joke, and then we'll get serious.

I think you may have a personality disorder based on the fact that you interact on the Baby Center Board. It's one thing to stop and gawk at a train wreck. It's a completely different thing to wade through the massacre. There's nothing you can do; they are already dead. Leave the clean up to the professionals, ok?

Joking aside, and brutally honest, I do think that you are emotionally unstable RIGHT NOW. And this is coming from someone who is currently INCREDIBLY emotionally unstable.

Your job was a toxic environment. You triggered a lot when you worked there. Furthermore, they didn't like you, and they didn't value your contribution. Then they rejected you when they laid you off.

All of this stuff is just like Mormonism. It's a place that always demands more. Where you are never good enough. And if you leave or are "fired," they turn around and say, "Well, YOU couldn't hack it." No matter what, something is wrong with YOU.

And now you are unemployed and going through all of those normal emotions that come with that. Anxiety, etc. The loss of income is stressful on ANY relationship and family.

When you post on the board, and you share your feelings - all of those things come out. And that's not a bad thing if the sharing is helping you navigate through this tough time. I do hope that you are able to see a therapist as well.

I do hope that the sharing on the board is helpful to you because I want you to be happy and to make it through this tough time.

I don't see the baby center board to be incredibly supportive unless you are pregnant...or want to tattle on someone to your bishop.

So...I would...caution you...to post there at this particular time.

The other thing that I want to bear my testimony of is that most of us on this board don't know you in real life. We know you through your posts - so we don't get to see the other sides of you.

One of the reasons why my coworkers don't like me right now is because they don't know what is going on with me.

I'm not close with most of them - and I'm not a big "sharer" in real life unless you are my friend or you read my writing. But they know something is up because I'm not funny anymore.

So what they see is me coming to work and being very quiet, calm, and serious. And then I just disappear - poof! Sometimes for days.

On the outside I'm serious, calm, but missing quite often. On the inside - I'm running around as if my hair is on fire until I throw up and pass out in the - well, now mostly just mucus.

My friends and sometimes this board get my feelings. And right now those feelings are not good. They are not fun.

I'm barely holding it together on the outside. And my point is that I suspect you are doing the same.

My suspicion is that you are trying your hardest to stay positive on the outside and that's really draining. But on the inside right now you are roiling.

And that's ok. Because sometimes bad things happen to good people, and we all need support until we can calm down and find some stability.

My opinion is that you should continue to share here. The people who don't like it are pretty few and far between. Most people here have the courtesy to ignore what they don't like when it's something incredibly personal.

I don't see that over at the Baby Board.






I say these things in the name of Jesus, even the Christ, who died for our sins - but then arose from the grave three days later - demanding brains - AMEN.

Thanks Raptor!

You know me quite well because you deal with many of the same things...

I always value your advice. Thank you.

Wow, the depth, clarity, and compassion are truly shining through. Thank you, ragingphoenix, for baring your soul.
I am in the throes of immense *ahem* GROWTH, cleverly disguised as SHIT, as are many, many MANY others. I *really* desire...rather, crave a large shift in the way we, human beings, treat each other. We are *all* vulnerable to circumstance. Only when we are able to truly empathize & connect can we move things along. 'Going deep' mentally, psychologically, emotionally, feels like destruction. ...and it ios. Are we called to dig deep inro our souls? I believe, Yes. Raw vulnerability is a gift, the willingness to look oneself solidly in the eye without blinking or turning awayy requires soul-searching.
Thank you, rfmers.
I will breathe fresh air today, and thank the universe for the opportunity to grow. <3

wow, RJ really summed it up nicely. All I can say is ditto :)

It sounds trite when people tell you "this too shall pass", but it is helpful when we tell this to ourselves.

For the both of you, I wish peace.

Swim @ your discretion. : )
I have seen ferocious loyalty here.
*SPLASHHH!*

I have been in the same type of frame of mind before.

I lucked out. At the time, I had been working for the same place for a long time doing medical transcription AT HOME. I got to pick my hours and so if I didn't work, my check was short, but they were very patient with me--but they didn't see how crazy I really felt/was. I was really lucky. I can't believe they tolerated me for SO LONG. I'm back working at home again--though I worked in an office for a while--and I can have all the craziness I want and they never have to know. It has saved me.

I believe many of us relate to what others are going through.

...it seems to me, but my experience there is limited. I could be wrong...at any given moment, lol.
I have posted here occassionally, read a lot latelu & posted more & more b/c I see sanity & loyalty, intelligence, and heart.
Feedback is generally supportive & posters are ferociously protected, which is SO important in vulnerable times.
It can be devastating to be in a place of complete shattered-ness and have the pieces stomped upon.
Itncan speak to the sacredness of life when that shattered-ness is honored.
No one wants to hear echoes of judgmental past voives come from someone else's mouth...to acknowledge the effect that has on one's being is to continue in the evolution toward healing.

Haha, 'cause *i'm* so wise & all...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2013 03:54PM by brownie.