Posted by:
Cold-Dodger
(
)
Date: August 01, 2015 07:39AM
The only differences in my story from yours is that it is part of the state of Arizona that might as well have been Northern Utah. Instead of Asperger's it's just ADD and social anxiety, and instead of panic attacks the thought of an actual sexual encounter just turns me off.
Other than that, bro... I feel you.
BYU-Idaho (still)
Scant romantic experiences.
Love/hate relationship with self ever since I had my 12 year old interview and lied to the bishop about masturbating.
One of the greatest resources I can send your way is this:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/klq4ccyfeahrfgm/mormon_masturbation.pdf?dl=0It takes time to begin to undo the mindfucking, but it will happen as you shamelessly educate yourself about it. You also need to learn to enjoy your solitary sexual experiences without guilt. You are not doing this *instead* of looking for a woman, you are doing this so that *when* you have a sexual encounter with a real person, it can be something you naturally know how to share with each other. No two people can have a great sexual experience together who have kept their sexual desire down with a sense of shame anytime it gets excited.
You need to know that no one in the outside world is as obsessed with sex as mormons are. That sounds ironic, I know, but think about it. Don't think about a large pink elephant! The harder you try to not think about something, the more you think about it. Normal people just allow their sexual desires to move them as any other emotion or drive moves them. Of course there are socially acceptable boundaries, especially legal boundaries, but the list of people who turn into pillaging, raping Vandals because they stopped "bridling their passions" is very short and the only people on it are sociopaths or psychopaths who would have done that sort of shit anyway.
You are normal. You are not alone. You are not the first one the Morg has done this to. Unfortunately, you will not be the last, either. Take the time to ask questions and get answers. There is no investment of time that isn't worth getting your mental health and happiness back.