Posted by:
forestpal
(
)
Date: October 04, 2010 04:28PM
IMO, you will find less shame and judgment in the real world. You have truly made a fresh start. I admire you and your future wife, for devoting yourselves to your children.
My children and I felt debilitating shame here in Mormon Utah, when I moved here from another state:
--We are outsiders, born somwhere else. We talk funny. We're too friendly. We smile too much, we laugh too much.
--We are "a broken home" a divorced family, abandoned by the father.
--I am single. I've been gossipped about, accused of being a lesbian, accused of wanting other women's husbands (icky, flabby chauvinist men are not my type)
--I am a working mother, bread-winner, head of household.
--We are too happy, confident, ambitious, physically fit. We don't "know our place." We are judged for our lack of humility.
--We are accused of being "selfish" because we say "no" and we won't give the Mormons any money or slave labor.
I went through a lot of what you went through, except I was ashamed of those things that were esentially RIGHT about my life.
You are an inspiration to anyone, in any situation! The issue is to be proud of who you are!
We come from a BIC background, wherein we were stripped of our individuality and creativity, and crammed into a tiny one-size-fits-all box into which nobody truly can fit. When (not if) we fail to conform perfectly, we are threatened and guilt-tripped. It is our fault for being born who we are. We are faliures. The Mormon God will not love us unless we obey and serve. So, we are unloved failures from Primary age on. Mormons, IMO, are a very depressed group of people.
When we apostatize, the MOrmons villify us, and punish us with harrassment, bullying, and shunning. "God's punishment" Not!
You know how lucky you are to be physically distanced from Utah. Still, you have to deal with your Mormon extended family, and you are handling that very well!
Congratulations on overcoming the damage the cult did to you! We are all struggling to do that. I agree that reality is better than that fake "shell of a life" that Mormonism imposes on its members. Children, work, cats and dogs, and the forest are very REAL!