It's been two weeks since I told my Bishop that I'm out, I'm not going to church any more. My wife is still a TBM and still around for now.

We got a call the other day asking for a meeting with the stake president, a 20 minute "get to know you meeting" in our home. If it was just me, I'd say no thanks but he's still someone of authority to my wife so I agreed. The meeting is tonight.

Should I expect anything different from my meeting with the bishop where I was told to keep telling myself that the church is true over and over again and eventually I'll start believing again?

I'm not planning to leaving the church just yet because my wife is still a TBM. If my bishop calls me in, I'll have no problem explaining my latest concerns.

What are your concerns?

Jon Wrote:
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> What are your concerns?


Please see my Pet Peeve Thread.

1)Priesthood Meeting opening hymn. The bishop asked a deacon to choose a hymn and the quorum cringes while they sloppily sing one verse. Now wasn't that inspirational?

2)Fireside Refreshments) When they bless the doughnuts to nourish and strenghten us to serve thee.

3)Janitorial Service. The church seems to guilt you into cleaning the church when you already pay them 10% of your income. They say you will get "blessings"

4)Testimony Meeting. A whole thread is needed for that.

5)Boy Scout and YM Chanting. Very cultish when they keep reciting the YM theme in priesthood making you stand

6)Kitchen use. "This room is to be used for warming and serving food, not preparing and cooking of food".

So if the Church/ward sorted these out you would then be a happy true believing Mormon?

I would prepare your main points on a piece of paper and have it your back pocket just in case the meeting flusters you or goes off at tangents.

Also decide in advance what you are prepared to talk about and what topics are off limits, what you are prepared to concede and what you won't budge on. And stick to it during the meeting.
Decide if you will allow him to talk to your wife without you there or not. And stick to it.

You may want to discuss these points with your wife in advance so she doesn't feel surprised or ambushed.

Stay calm, this man has no authority in your life other than on theological aspects, and even then he only as the authority you allow him to have.

There's only one reason that someone in the church heirarchy calls for a meeting - to extend a calling. If he wants to call your DW to a stake job, he has to ask your permission first. i suggest asking your DW if she really wants a stake job in the church. If she doesn't, you can say no and she can blame it on you. if she wants to accept the job and all the busy work, well, that's up to her, isn't it? Or you can still say no, and your marriage will be hell.

I was executive secretary, a calling that comes from the stake, so even though I've only been gone a couple of weeks he's well aware that I've left. That leads me to think he's there to check on us rather than to extend a calling.

If it is a calling for my wife, that's up to her to accept or turn down. I've always thought asking the husband for permission first is insulting to the woman.

onlyme Wrote:
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>
> We got a call the other day asking for a meeting
> with the stake president, a 20 minute "get to know
> you meeting" in our home. If it was just me, I'd
> say no thanks but he's still someone of authority
> to my wife so I agreed. The meeting is tonight.
>


if you decide to go through with this, set your cell phone alarm to ring after 20 minutes. Answer that phone as if it were a person calling you. Then say that you really need to take this call and leave the room - chatting into the phone. If the guy lingers waiting for you to get off the phone, next go into the bathroom and start taking a shower and get ready for bed. An hour later, reappear in your PJ's and say to him/ "Oh, are you still here? I thought you only were staying 20 minutes"
Then go into the kitchen, get a bedtime snack and enjoy it.

If you spouse asks you about it later, tell her that you were told that the meeting would be only 20 minutes long and that you intended to make sure it happened that way.

This meeting is probably a trap to guilt you into doing what they want you to do. For you own good, of course. Don't give them time to gain control.

Check out Lyndon Lamborn on youtube. This guy knew how to go out in style.