A handful of noxious weeds that i'm highly allergic to, tied together with a used ribbon. A note that says it's from the YW. Not a single one of them have any idea who I am.

Yep, that's their tactic to get me to go back to church. Or, wait, maybe their trying to do me in by causing an allergy attack.

Either way, it's extremely annoying. It's like swatting at flies.

I wish the girls would have stuck around. Maybe I could have planted some internet info. Hey, if you send your teenagers to my house to do church service, they're fair game to hear the truth from me.

Thank you for your kind gift of anaphylaxis. You young women are quite capable of killing me with kindness. To that end, please allow me to help you.

I've attached a list of all of the things that will make my throat close in an instant. Please hand deliver future presents should any of you like to practice fashioning a tracheostomy tube from a ball point pen.

Feel free to send me your own lists of histamine overload provoking items, and I'll be sure to leave them by my front door in case I'm not home and you'd like to trach each other.

All the best,

mia

OMG Beth, that response is absolutely priceless! I nearly snarfed my Diet Coke.

+1

Ahh Hahahahaha! Perfect, B!

I was going to say to call up the bishop and ask if the YW wanted you to go into anaphylactic shock and is there anything he's deathly allergic to that you can drop off on his drop step. A knitted cap of cat hair maybe?

What would be a good anti-mormon talisman? Sort of like garlic to ward off vampires? A temple apron with the words...What is wanted? Not mormons.

I'm thinking about getting one of those grecian statues to put in my front yard. Why?

So I can put my green apron on her. The neighbors will think i've lost my mind, but the mormons will run the other way.

Maybe i'll put a cross around her neck for good measure. All the letters, resignations, and get lost signs don't seem to be doing the job. Time to get down.

Maybe i'll wrap my grecian goddess in white temple robes and that hideous veil before I put the apron on. I hate to ruin a perfectly good Easter apron, but I think i'll make the sacrifice.

The only good thing I can say, is the HT and VT's didn't show up last month. That was a first. I guess they decided to send their kids over to do their dirty work.

hahahaha! If you ever get that statue, please oh please post a picture of it all dressed up :)

I will.

How about the apron on a statue of David?

Or a notice that all mormons must knock 3 times with a wooden mallet?

For a front porch, how about a manikin dressed in temple clothes? Too bad they don't make temple clothes gnome size. Those could be fun in your yard.

Hey now, a series of photos of the adventures of a temple garb clad garden gnome would be priceless! Lololololol

Your ward leadership is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

twojedis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Your ward leadership is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

Well what else could be expected from a bunch of MORmONS ?

So what did they leave you exactly? Was it supposed to be a love bomb basket that was healthy or something?

Afraid of your reaction?

Oh yeah. Drop and run.

It was scotch broom. I've spent years making sure none of that grows in my yard. I'm ver allergic to it. I hate scotch broom season.

Scotch broom? Seriously? That stuff is pernicious, a nasty weed, and horribly allergy inducing. Wow, just wow!

Is scotch broom considered an invasive plant species on your island? It is here.

It's sort of an appropriate plant for them to use really! lol!

Yes, I bet it is. They have work parties going in the woods here to cut and spray it. Same thing on our property.

Yeah, here too. We have annual 'broom bashes' - where the local community gets together to rip it out of various parks, forests and coastlines.

... and the mormons use it as gifts, lmao!

A long while back, the bishop showed up on my property as part of the young men's service project to mow my lawn. I did not ask for this. And, this is a man who has testified against me in court. I certainly did not want him on my property.

I asked him to leave. He called me "ungrateful." I said that he was "as anti Christian as I have ever known a person to be!" He went back to the ward and told everyone that I called him the "Anti-Christ!"

I thought his version of what happened was much beter than mine so I agreed with him!

I do not have a last nerve for these people to get on. I am over it and them. Now, I am simply amused by their behaviors.

P.S. I got the same bundle of noxious weeds from the RS pres who is a doe-doe bird.

Maybe you should take our approach. In our exit letter, we invited everyone to ask us over for games or dinner, ask us for help with a service project, invite us to ward activities. Nobody does anything. We even have an active son, and nobody does anything. You'd think they'd send him home teachers or something. Not that I care or want them, but it really cracks me up, in a sick way, that you have made it clear that they are to leave you alone, and yet they won't stop coming. We have made it clear that we'd love to have contact and yet they all stay away.

You're probably right. I haven't been doing a good job of telling mormons to come on over, get a little dose of the truth.

I was going to do that with the VT when she came. She didn't make it last month. She's never asked why I left, but i'm going to tell her any way.

Wait, the ward is leaving dead plants on your doorstep now? This can't have been the YW's idea--they would probably have the sense to leave chocolate. Some lame-brained adult dreamed this up; it was probably the RS pres like in ChrisDeanna's ward.

I'm sure it wasn't the kids idea. They don't have any idea who I am.

DK.....gave me a good idea. Gnome clothes.

A few years ago someone gave me a drunken gnome holding a bottle of beer. I'm not the gnome type, but that little drunk guy would look real cute in white toga and green apron. I could paint his gnome hat white.

I have enough sewing skills to make that little outfit. I'm going to do that! He's going to get moved over by the front door.

I will send pics.

The little dude needs a new paint job. I think i'll just paint all of his clothes, shoes, and hat white. I'll make him a little leaf apron. May neighbors won't think much of it, but i'm sure the mormons will!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2013 11:56AM by mia.

Awesome! We will look forward to the pics, and to any reports of Mormon reactions to your newly outfitted garden gnome.

Interesting how whenever they do something..that no one asked them to do...and we balk at them...we are ungrateful?..twisted mormon thinking, you just cant fix stupid

Dear [annoying interlopers],

Since you have made such an effort to surprise me at my house, I have an idea. How about if next time I surprise you at your house.

Don't worry! You won't actually see me or know that I have been there until you encounter something I have left at your door that is deadly to you. You'll know what it is when you find it. :-)

I'm so glad we can be friends.

If you really want to bug them, dress your statue up in temple clothes and incorporate the Scotch Broom - like a wedding bouquet or a hair ornament. So their gift is part of your art.

Or rather, have someone do it for you - you don't want an allergy attack.