Posted by:
Nightingale
(
)
Date: May 07, 2013 12:21PM
Satan Claus Wrote:
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> As far as a "live chat," I really don't picture
> this as a "live chat," I think merely giving a
> date/approximate time is more of a courtesy to Tom
> so he knows when to start checking RfM. Unlike
> some other people I know, I think he may have a
> real life and not be glued to discussion boards
> all day ;-).
Oh, I must have misunderstood. A certain date and time does not equate to "live chat", I see. :)
A specific date to start is a good idea. Still, I feel for those who have to wait til summer for their books. I'm already dug into the 'conversion' chapter/appendix as my curiosity was killing me.
Even though the book lives up to my preconceptions (that it isn't a beach book - easily tucked into a pocket for a day on sand and surf) as it does have a foreword, a foundational preface, the word 'methodology' in chapter 1, footnotes, appendices and references (!), as expected, it doesn't seem textbooky or beyond the capability of an RfMer to grasp. Still, I predict it will take me a while to digest and I will be a slow reader with it.
So I wouldn't be ready to contribute to a discussion tomorrow, especially if we're going to start with page 1, but I'd read a discussion on it any time.
Maybe an initial thread could just be our first impressions or a blurb about any chapter that first caught our interest (assuming others besides me delve into the middle of books rather than starting at chapter 1).
Whatever happens, it seems like it'll be fun. Sorry, Tom, to be enjoying your agonizing journey so much. I appreciate that you went through it, and that you chronicled it for countless readers. Already, glancing at your 'conversion' appendix, I've gone 'aha' in just the first paragraph. To help someone else see a different perspective in a useful way is truly a service. In that, for me, your book has already succeeded.
To document what elicited my aha so far: The five-part conversion that new members apparently go through (or are expected to) consisting of a belief that God lives, that Jesus Christ is His Son, that Joseph Smith was called to be the prophet of the restoration, that the current leader of the Mormon Church is a living prophet, and that the Mormon Church is the only true church, is not what was presented to me, an adult when I met Mormons and became friends and was intro'd to the missionaries (waves of them). Long after I had joined I heard from the MP's wife in a talk in SM what a "true testimony" was supposed to be about. Until then, I had wondered why so many adults and children went up to the mic in F&T monthly Sunday meetings to repeat the same words over and over. It was bizarre to me, who came from a Protestant and latterly an EV background, that people would have to even enunciate that "I know God exists". It's kind of like, well, duh, that's why we're sitting here in the first place. It's taken as a given and you move on from there - what about that, and so on. Or you could just be there (in Protestant circles) because you like the music or because your spouse or neighbour attends and you're keeping them company prior to all heading out for a big Sunday lunch. What I couldn't get in Mormonism was why stand up, 10, 20, 30 of you, every F&T and say the same words over and over and over and over.
Now, from a quick read-ahead in Tom's book, in just one paragraph, I see that the missionaries, and my Mormon friends, didn't even explain this basic Mormon thing to me. If they'd gone through those five apparently crucial points I would have been better informed than I ultimately was when I agreed to be baptized. That was because I wanted to get baptized, not because I believed in JS or any so-called living prophet and as a former JW, I'd had enough of the "one true church" bit for life. Instead of the so-called discussions, why don't they just go through the five-part "I believe" thing with prospective converts. That would separate wheat from chaff quite nicely, and quickly. Or at least it would let the convert know what they were signing onto.
I hesitate to even call myself a convert as I never converted to believing in that stuff. I didn't even "believe in" JS and I was upfront about that and the missionaries and bishop, and apparently SP, at the time all said it didn't matter. That is how inconsequential JS was during the discussions prior to my baptism.
I've had a very tough time all the yrs since in seeing or admitting that any of the missionaries I liked so much, or my Mormon friends, lied to me. I certainly still take responsibility for my own decisions about joining and ending up in the temple and etc. But. This whole conversion thing shouldn't be part of the "meat" that you don't trip over until after you're safely baptized and on their books. It should be a basic from the beginning.
I had questions and doubts from day one after I joined (well, before too, but they promised my questions would be answered after) and everyone just answered, "you've made commitments" like as if that revealed all, on its own, without any books or further info. I spent a lot of time asking "what commitments?" because I hadn't understood what the baptism was all about when it came to Mormonism. Double down, or triple even, on that after I went to the temple where, again, it had been promised that all would be revealed when it came to answering my questions. Uh, not so much. Now the "but you've been to the temple" answer, with shock that I still had questions, from the Mormon friends, the missionaries, the bishop, was triply disappointing and confusing. WHAT COMMITMENTS I again asked desperately as I sure didn't understand what the temple had been about. I was too busy worrying, sweating, and coping in the tiny dark hot rooms, with the stupid gown, the incessant instructions to stand, sit, and switch (the clothing around) and the forward march into room after room and drama after drama (real life play in the SLC temple). My strongest memory was of constant anxiety that the Really Old folks playing parts in the temple drama would fall down all those stairs. Up and down, back and forth, and what the heck was it all about. I had no idea. Except "Michael" was there a lot, doing what I had no clue.
My experience was that everyone, especially missionaries, pushed baptism as step 1, not conversion. Assuming that Mormonism was "Protestant" and wanting only to be baptized, I took the plunge four months after my TBM friends intro'd me to the mishies. And they told me that that was a very long time to wait.
I would have liked to know about the five-part conversion. And that you had to repeat it ad nauseum once a month, forever. You and all the others in your ward.
My true education (and enlightenment) about it all has come from RfM.
And a quick glance at Tom's book brought all that up. Sorry if it is posted in the wrong place. And if personal experiences aren't expected to be part of the discussion. In that case, consider this as a pre-discussion blurb.
But thanks. I appreciate the chance to explain all that. I can see now that they left out a lot in their efforts to get me to join, and to get me to stay when I wanted out from day 1. I used to completely reject the idea that anyone lied. But lately, I'm considering it. It would explain a lot.
But who wants to know that they were lied to. And that they believed the lies.
Especially me, a former JW. You'd think I'd have recognized the thing for what it was the instant my TBM acquaintance pulled out a BoM on me.
But no. I had to do it the hard way.
Twice.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/07/2013 12:23PM by Nightingale.