Exuse my harping on this question, but it's fascinating to me....

What caused everyone to feel like they should go on a mission?

And how did it affected the depth of your commitment to the church? Was this the straw that broke the camels back, or did it strengthen your faith?

As a convert who eventually fully embraced "the gospel", I wanted to share my knowledge of "the truth" with the world. My mission definitely strengthened my faith and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

After I left the church, I was mortified that I went on a mission and wanted to write to everyone I taught that was baptized to let them know I was deluded, and to apologize to them. I never did.

As a convert I, too, wanted to teach the truths I had learned to others. When I learned that those 'truths' were simply fiction I was mortified at having served a mission. Luckily, I was a very unsuccessful missionary.

I was told over and over again that it was the right thing to do, and I accepted this without thinking about it. I learned to think about things people tell me are simply the right thing to do, since then.

At college my girlfriend demanded that I go or she would not marry me. I went, married her and raised four kids.
I finally figured out she married the church instead of me.
She is now my ex wife.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Conditional Love

Two reasons

1) I didn't have the guts to defy my parents

2) It got me out of being drafted for the Vietnam War

I guess those are really the same reason: cowardice.

It is not cowardice to refuse to become a corpse for a bullshit war, it is wise.

In my day it was considered high adventure, even if the pressure wasn't on the way it is today. It was a cooler time to be a missionary. And you got attention when you left. There was a sacrament meeting that was all about you with a printed program featuring a picture of you. The bishop had you decide how to run the program. The choir sang, the ward was full of visitors, and once on your mission, you were more or less on your own--not exactly autonomous, but far less pestered than today.

And one more thing: If you COULD go on a mission, it was guaranteed to be better than going to Vietnam, and bought you two years away from being drafted.

In my mission, elders and sisters were really well looked after, and got to get medical treatment for any little thing. I wonder how that ever changed? You'd thing there would be more liability, not less.

A sentence in my pb "...to share His words and love in far away place (au loin), with those who are near you and those that you love" Which to me meant far away place = mission, those near you = coworkers and neighbors, those you love = non-mos in my family and friends.

I didn't want to go when I received it (17). But my two sisters that were still active in tscc had went. My bro who was just a little younger then me was going to go. When my 20th arrived, I was starting to change. My "love for the Savior" made me want to share it with others. The added bonus was that my bro and I ended up going at about the same time. So through our preparation we became very close. His last two weeks at the mtc (stayed 2 months) were my first to weeks there (also there for 2 months).

But we came back changed in not a good way. For many years I suffered from anxiety (still do), short but frequent moments of depression, panic attacks (very mild compare to some description I've read on this board) and so on. I did not realized what was going on with me. But eventually was able to face the fact that all of it started with my mission.
When my brother came back he had become very very negative about things. Whether the thoughts he shared were about architecture or people or life moments, or anything, he was always very negative. He was the total opposite before he left.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2013 01:53PM by quebec.

I believed in the church and assumed that's what God wanted me to do (since the church expects all young men to serve missions). I didn't REALLY want to go but like many things in life thought it was what I needed to do, like mowing the lawn or going to the gym.

It was highly disappointing for me and helped seal the deal that the church wasn't inspired of God.

You're assuming that most of us "decided"... and well, I guess depending on how you look at it, we did, but there are some caveats to that.

I grew up in a very TBM family, I was also "the good son" and it was always expected that I would go on a mission. I was never asked, I was never even really told, and I don't even really recall being given a choice, it was just expected. To not have gone would have been unthinkable for me with the way I was raised.

One, I had been told that it was right and I didn't have the balls to challenge that assumption.

Two, I went to BYU for a semester before putting in my mission papers. Even if I had the balls to question my parents I didn't have the balls to be a persona non grata.

To make my parents happy, but it just prolonged the inevitable. The experience for me unveiled the fraud, and I wanted nothing more to do with the church



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2013 12:23PM by ladell.

I believed it was true, and I had older brothers who all went on missions before me, so my path was pre-determined, there was never a consideration to the contrary. It was automatic. We're all out now though, so that's kind of nice.

I had wanted to go on a mission ever since I was a tiny tot. I believed in the church with all my heart and thought it would be the ideal way to demonstrate my commitment. The fact that I paid my own way--making huge sacrifices to do so--reinforced in my own mind that I had made an irrevocable decision to stay in the church and there was no turning back.

If I had NOT gone on a mission, I probably would've left the church after graduating from BYU. Instead, I stayed in another 20 years. UGH.

1. Parents and family expected it.
2. Church family expected it.
3. I expected BYU girls required it.

This is a good one and kind of ties in with what I said on the thread about the poster just breaking his mother's heart.

When I finally told her that I had left the church and that I had my name removed from the church files it was an ugly scene. One of the things that came out was my mission and I was brutally honest with her and told her I had gone because I knew that if I didn't go she would have had a nervous breakdown. She was shocked to find out that I had gone to please her and my dad and not because I wanted to.

No I did not go because I wanted to, I went to avoid an ugly scene with my parents but if I had done what I wanted I would have stayed in school and skipped the mission completely.

For many BICs, it really isn't a decision. Going on a mission has been ingrained into your system from primary on.


It is just something you do.

When you turn 6 you go to elemetary school, your not real excited about it, but you know your suppose to go. When you turn 19, you go on a mission, your not real excited about it, but you know your suppose to go.

One, I always wanted to go since I was a little kid.

Two, my future wife's uncle was the bishop of another ward in our stake. He came up to me at a Super Saturday activity and told me that I didn't have a chance with her or the family if I didn't go on a mission, and then he turned and walked away. I was 17 at the time.

I didn't really want to go but not going would have been social suicide in Happy Valley. Once I got my call to a country in Europe I did get a little excited about it and looked at it more as an adventure.

I was totally disillusioned to find out that missionary work was nothing more than door to door sales and observing that the mission - and the church in general - operated more like a sales organization than a church started my slow awakening.

I never had any real inclination to go...

I grew up in a single parent home with a active, loving mother, that would get in your face if you did not follow the teachings and leaders. It was like a "Jekyll and Hyde" at times.

And when I turned 18, I moved away to avoid the pressure from my mother. I went to live with my father, who was not a member...not even close. As I drove away, she told me that I was making the worst decision of my life, and that I'd regret it. It was an ugly send off.

Came home a year later and hung out with a couple of guys a year younger. They both decided to go on a mission as it was expected.
Then the real pressure from the "mom" got to me. She said that if I did not serve a mission that I would only find a second rate wife. And I believed her. This went on for awhile and I then sent in my papers.

Got the call to serve, and then decided not to go. All hell broke loose. Dear mother locked herself in the bathroom and sobbed for about an hour. I had to go to work and left her there as I just did not want to feel anymore like the loser she was portraying me as.

Then, at work, the bishop shows up, along with a few other members, to encourage me. And I generally loved these people as they were decent people.

While I choose not to live in regret over having spent time doing something that I really had no interest in doing, I would certainly not have gone if I had learned earlier in life to choose my own destiny.

For anyone considering a mission: Live your life, not your parents!

I was 18 & living w/ my non-mo brother, far away from friends & other family. I was working and making good money(for an 18 yr-old at the time). I didn't see any reason to serve a mission. As a convert I didn't have any family to pressure me. I was friendshipped by some people in the ward. They kept offering to giving me rides to church events, like the priesthood sessions of general conference, and the commoration of the aaronic priesthood. I always agreed, so I heard one too many talks about how every worthy young man should serve a mission. So, even as a member of only 4 years, the brainwashing got to me. That's why I went. I ended up going to Germany, so that part was kind of cool. If I had gone stateside, I probably woudldn't have lasted because I was already having doubts about the book of mormon in the MTC. I think I was so focused on trying to speak good german that i never really thought about the garbage that I was actually spewing.

I did not want to go at all, but I went because I "knew" that's what god wanted me to do. And being from outside the morridor it was the first time I was exposed to all of the things that go with the morridor. It certainly shook me, and probably started me on my way out. It took me another 12 years to finally leave though

I had grown a foot or two!?!

Is that the right answer?

Threads like this are what will continue to erode the core base of TSCC. I went in the early 80s. If I had had the chance to see unvarnished accounts of missionary work, I'd have found the courage to say no.

Its just one of the commandments of Mormonism. Its expected of all young men. Its like a Jewish kid doing his Bar Mitzvah.

You are commanded to do it by the higher ups, your parents, bishop, Sunday School teachers,etc. They harp on you from the time you are a toddler until are of age to go. If you don't go, they will see you as a crappy Mormon. In addition, most girls won't date or marry you.

There isn't really a lot of choice involved.

several things happened at once:
1. I noticed RMs were almost all in college and that people respected them. They seemed maturer and more polite and discreet, and just seemed smarter.
2. My GF made unintentional gestures of respect and admiration for RMs (then had a fling).
3. Said fling turned me off and subconsciously I was trying to beat her with her own club, but also subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship and escape.
4. I was in a flat-spot with jobs, and school had been a false-start. I needed something important to do.
5. I had a genuine "spiritual experience" that made me think it was true

Into woods went I to pray. Amidst blinding light and deafening claps of thunder, appeared unto me Saint Joe. He was just a small orange colored salamander wearing a tiny green apron about his freshly cleansed loins. With his still small but squeaky voice he told me I must go else never enjoy the true missionary position. True story.

I went because I desperately wanted to make my parents proud of me. I was the black sheep of the family and I wanted them to see that I could do things right. I also did not want to disappoint my friends and my community.

I also had the idea that those who did not go on missions became worthless drunks that had to marry their pregnant girlfriends and work for minimum wage for the rest of their sad lives. I have no idea where that idea came from. /sarcasm

"I hooooooooooooooope they call me on a misshUNNNNNNNN, when IIIIIIIIII have grown a foot or twoooooooooooooooooo...."

Now repeat that several hundred times and remember that's just ONE specific brainwashing song among many that we sang as kids over and over and over and over again.

Why did I go on a mission? I've realized that it's just plain silly to try to pinpoint all the conscious reasons a BIC goes on a mission. The reality is that all of the reasons are buried in the Subconscious.

But "every worthy young man must serve a mission" and that I believed in the "gospel" pushed me to go.

And my entire life changed. Mostly for the worse.

It was a terrible time for me to leave my family, as we were all dealing with the aftermath of my mother's suicide attempts and subsequent institutionalization. I should have been in therapy for my PTSD, but I was encouraged to go on a mission instead. I was told that God would heal me through service. Instead, I suffered verbal, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my mission president, companions and a few exploitative nonmembers.

It would be wise for the GA's to stop claiming that Jesus can heal a person better than medicine and therapy, and for missionary service to be voluntary rather than compulsory, whether by edict from on high or pressure from the society of the faithful.

It's what you do...No one asked or told me, it's just the next step in life. I ended up more corrupted on my mission then I would have at college. It seriously messed with my head but I blamed myself instead of the church because of my sins.

To atone for my sins because a multitude of sins are erased when you bring people to the cult and at 21 I had oh so many sins! I look back now and just shake my head!!! BUT< it did start proving to me that no matter what I did it would never be enough. And I struggled with this for years before I finally realized it wasn't me, it was the sctt.

There were many "reasons", but now I look back on them, I doubt any are good reasons. Among these, in no particular order;
>Get away from my mother
>My Mother wanted me to go
>TSSC said I should
>I needed to get away
>I thought it would be exciting
>I needed to get away from my girlfriend
>My girlfriend (at the time) wanted me to go
>It was "a good thing" to do
>I would have been shunned in the TSSC if I didn't
>I needed to get away from school
>I couldn't come up with a good enough excuse not too go
>"God did so much for me, I could do something for him" (TSSC quote)
>I didn't know how to say "I don't wan to" at the time
>I WAS BRAINWASHED!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/14/2013 03:29PM by magnite.