As I was walking into Costco today, in front of us was a young mother, carrying a baby carrier, with two little ones in tow, and clearly pregnant. She looked like 50 miles of really rough road. Very sad look on her face. I made an assumption, which I really should not do, but I think I am safe in guessing she is Mormon, and was raised from childhood to be a brood mare.

Sadly, while being taught to give, give, give, give time to the church (which she does not have) and give money to the church(which she does not have), give her body to bring spirits into the world, etc., etc., at no time did she ask the obvious question. What does the church give in return? Promises of something in the future?

At no time have I heard a single church leader tell a young mother that he or she would be more than glad to come over and baby sit so she could try to recapture her sanity. At no time have I heard a church leader suggest they take a month off from giving money or time.

Nope, it's a one directional relationship.

and what saddens me the most is that it is for an obvious fraud.

You give everything, mind, body, soul, children, money to a corporation who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice, continually asks for more, and then when you have nothing left at all, spits you out and has already replaced you with a new victim.

and you volunteered for it all, believing the false promise that it would all be worth it in the end.

its such a waste.

Yes. Exactly.

Imagine what a perfect scam. Reward after you're dead! Sign up now for your plastic card to submit, together with your secret handshake, at the pearly gates.

And you women, please use the servant/goddess entrance.


Ana

"reward after you're dead" not even that. just more of the same. In the afterlife, Mormon women are stuck BEING the reward.

exdrymo - I never even considered that part. why would anyone be ok with that? is the potential alternative so bad?

"on earth as it is in heaven."

or, simply put, carrot here--carrot there.


Ana

You are probably safe in guessing that she is probably a Mormon. You are not safe, however, in guessing as to whether Mormonism was the cause of her "50 miles of rough road", or that your visual impression of her was even valid in the first place. The "Church" is hard on single Mothers, and sometimes the Ward is negligent, but I have seen situations where the Ward took them in and made life more manageable.

I know it's a bit vain, but I after I'd had four children I thought it was weird that there were NO compliments coming from the leadership, RS or Bishopric or general membership about how noble it was to be a Mother in Zion.

It was only randomly mentioned over the pulpit and not in my direction!

When my husbands job ended and we were counseling with the BP NOT ONCE did he say "Well DONE!" to find out we were debt free and our house was paid in full...it was always a negative about what losers we were because our modest for the desert, electric bill to swamp cool our house and wash clothes for a family of six, was about $125 a month during the hottest summer months. Most people in the ward paid about $250+ by comparison.

No, they talk about Mothers, but they do NOT pat you on the back. Now if your husband and you pay tithing and he's in the Bishoprick....it's a whole different ball game....then they have you give talks on what it is to be a 'righteous mother in zion.'

Ever notice the meek and humble (ie. poor, married to a Never mo, or married to an inactive)mothers in the ward never get to give those talks?????

It's just all about image. That's the problem.

The church is always taking, taking, taking. The stories of those that are felt welcome and are helped are rare.

I was one of the exploited ones. =)

I like how rhio puts it, a little extreme but carries a lot of truth:
"You give everything, mind, body, soul, children, money to a corporation who doesn't appreciate your sacrifice, continually asks for more, and then when you have nothing left at all, spits you out and has already replaced you with a new victim."

And many of these young mothers are left to alone most of Sundays because the husband is at church all day, doing priesthood stuff. Putting the lds church, and not the family, first.

I wish I had thought to ask a GA if I should have another (seventh) baby or pay tithing.

I'd still love to hear the answer to that one.


Anagrammy

The Mormon 'church' has a vector relationship with its members.

In other words, it clams on to them and proceeds to suck blood.

Like any smart vector, it does not usually kill the host.
But still, it greatly weakens the members financially and emotionally.

"If you lose yourself, you will find yourself."

Certainly didn't work for me or most of the mormon women I know--especially my mother. You just lose yourself.

And--for someone above, I was a single mother because the lds leaders told me to save my gay husband and then my gay husband left and the leaders called him to repentence. Sure, they helped a little bit after telling me that abusing the lord's money was second only to murder. They gave me food for a while and paid a few bills--but THEY GOT ME INTO THE SITUATION. Sure, I take responsibility--a suicidally depressed girl who was coerced into saving someone gay--and I picked up all the pieces. It broke me--in more ways than one.

As long as it looked like we were doing okay and they could tell other gays to follow our example, they were right there cheering us on. As soon as we failed, not only did my husband abandon all of us, they did, too--even my good friend who I had worked with for years and was a bishop. He had the audacity to tell me I hadn't given my husband enough sex and that is why he strayed.

And every other single mother I told to go ask for help--they turned down.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/21/2013 01:01PM by cl2.

Some Mormons really don't understand/do real relationships all that well. It's the relate, despite everything that happens. It's the support, no matter what. Often, with some mormons, it's a canned narrative. Gawd forbid you don't fit the mold.

Some of it is changing, but it's way too slow.