...that his children do???

Or does he just put JC and Casper in charge of watching all that smut???

Or so it seems to me...

The Holy Casper can't watch that stuff. He runs away from all naughtiness, remember.

Jesus Christ. Holy Caspar konks out if you drink coffee or say "darn it" too disrespectfully to your mother. He's fucking useless. (Just ran out of my place again. Now I'm gonna start watching more porn, dammit.)

Any omni-god (omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent) not only has to watch porn, he also has to be the porn stars.

If said god doesn't "know" what it feels like to be a porn star engaging in porn star sex, then that would be something he doesn't know and would therefore not be omniscient. Therefore god is every porn star.

If said god isn't everywhere, including in the bodies of the porn stars (specifically in the sexy parts), then that would be somewhere god isn't and would therefore not be omnipresent. Therefore god is in every porn star.

That explains the perfection of Christy Canyon.

It was Yahweh all the time.

Please keep in mind, brothers and sisters, when dealing with the temptation of porn you need to know that only 2% of all available porn is watchable.

2%! Watchable.
98% Unwatchable.

It's a kinky world so be careful out there boys and girls and remember what Moses once said, "what has been seen, cannot be unseen."

Remember the "movie in heaven" at the "last judgment?"

It's supposed to be where all the sins anyone ever committed
will be revealed and shown to everyone. In other words it will
be a HUGE porn movie. In fact it will contain every porn movie
ever made, every centerfold photography session, all the details
behind all the tabloid headlines--EVERYTHING!

I can hardly wait.

Hmm...do they have lotion and kleenex in heaven?

You know, when I thought about HF watching me while I was going to the bathroom, I stopped thinking that he could or actually would do that.

If God has to watch porn, so does Santa.

What do you think egg nog is made out of?

toto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > If God has to watch porn, so does Santa.

God and Santa could watch porn together...sounds like a potential episode of South Park.

RJ! My god, I burst out laughing, and stbleaving, yes, it does sound like one.

or the opening chapters of the Book of Job

"Well, have you been naughty, or nice?"

Nice, of course (she says with a naughty grin).

Would he not also have to be a wine and beer expert , along with experience in using heroin , cocaine , and Mary Jane ?

If God is omniscient and omnipresent, he also can be omni-benevolent like Christians claim.

According to Matthew 5:28, just THINKING about having sex with a woman is the same as committing adultery.

Therefore, if God doesn't know what lust feels like, he isn't omniscient but if he DOES know what lust feels, then he isn't all good since he has committed the sin specified in Matt 5:28.

So not only does God have to watch all the porn in the world, he has to burn in hell for it too. Or rather, Jesus has to suffer for God watching it.

Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

Actually, that is the only logical explanation I have ever read that explains the god vs jesus dynamic.

God kills and tortures Jesus because he has to pleasure himself.

Is God addicted to porn?

I think he just gets your grandma to watch you when you masturbate

No, God, Himself, watches you masturbate. But, being the Mormon
God he recalls when he was mortal and masturabated Himself.

Did god have a jc penny catalog? Were the bra and pantie pages stuck together?

(Somewhat O/T) If God is constantly watching porn I wonder if he has preferences...

Think of that porn testimonial: "This video is highly recommended by God---Who watches porn all the time, just part of the job."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/05/2013 09:22PM by transylvania.

Marge Simpson statement in her evening prayer to God before having sex with Homer:

"... Have fun watching us."