Is it isolation from those particular friends that is upsetting you,
or is it isolation, because your life, and worldview are diverging from theirs?
I could be some of both. Everyone grieves losses, and it takes time.
It is important to find people who can genuinely empathize with you, and understand how you feel.
Most TBMs do not understand members leaving outside of the usual reasons: offense, sin, etc. They cannot fathom it is a lie.
TBMs do not understand how you feel the bad outweighs the good.
You do not believe, but they do.
Their familiar friendship may be an illusion. If only one friend knows you plan on leaving, you don’t really know who will stay your friend. When to tell is a difficult decision.
Making a transition can be painful, and slow, but eventually it happens.
It is difficult to feel like you have control, but you have your reason, and logic, and can choose the life you want. You can choose the best way to live to heal your pain.
When you go off to college you may well lose your friends anyway. My friends, and I did not talk or write much after I went to YBU, and if they had been LD$ it probably would have been the same.
Can you find local student groups that meet? I don't know what state you are in, but if you are not religious there are often student groups of humanists/atheists. I am used to isolation, but am always happier around like-minded people. There is this site:
http://www.meetup.com/Have you seen a non-LD$ therapist? Some can be helpful.
You will make friends at your new school. I studied languages, and found friends in those classes, who I had more in common with than friends at home.
If you have a few friends who are close by maybe you could do things with them if they did not intrude too much with TSCC. It took me a long time to set boundaries with certain members, because every time they brought up TSCC, thinking I would come back, it would traumatize me. Their intrusions brought up all the evil things TSCC & members had done to me, and I would be upset for days, and would cry. It would cause PTSD reactions. They did this even after I repeatedly told them they were hurting me by bringing it up. I have seizures so this was also a trigger. I had left, and left orders for no contact. Finally I had to call the SP, and yell at him to remind him that they had ruined my life, I almost killed myself, my life was still in ruins from them 5 years later, and they had better leave me alone or I would get an attorney. He was taken aback, because I don't think he knew I had left, but they stopped after that. Other acquaintances who I need help from once in a while might say something, usually insinuations, but do not directly bring it up anymore. I think they suppose I will return, but once in a while I remind them I won't. The worst part of the isolation was feeling like I had no one to turn to for help, but TSCC did not help me overall, and were the cause of my problems. For maybe one small help there were evils a thousand times worse. For me leaving freed me, but in my case the isolation from them freed me as well.
Although there was a time lag between when I became atheist, and when I wrote my letter. In my case I was in trauma from what had happened, had further trauma, because of the first, and could barely walk for nearly a year. I was in relative isolation, because of a stalker, and did not have the luxury of resigning, because I was too scared or unable to leave the house. Maybe you could begin writing your letter instead of letting the dread of losing friends stop you. You can keep the letter or e-mail until you feel you are ready to send it. My ties were mostly gone before I sent my letter. Maybe you need to be away, and not enmeshed with them when you send it. You can plan for new friends, plan your life, stay healthy, etc., because everything gets better without the cult.
Read about how TSCC treats people. A few people may remain your friend, but a lot of members are only interested in being your friend if they think you will come back. Every time I turned to church was after a trauma. TSCC is an organization designed to be abusive. Some members are genuinely there to live a good life, although they are in a fraud. I was a sincere member. The organization itself is not supportive of women, reinforces male privilege, and gives the illusion of being a safe, wholesome place. Abuse victims can be drawn to what they think is a safe organization with values, and standards, which is not what it is. It is an organization of privilege vs. nonprivilege, hierarchies, etc. enforced by obedience. The values, and “standing for something” spiel are veneer to cover up the ugly foundations. Members use this, and the priesthood to take advantage of other members. There are so many predators in TSCC, because it tends to protect them. Bad people are everywhere, but some organizations are designed to be patriarchal, and to place more importance, and value on obedience to the good old boys than on doing the right thing. In my case, most people, even in the face of evidence, chose to defer to a sociopathic former bishop of mine, because he held the priesthood. One person half-heartedly talked to him, but no one was interested in holding him accountable. He had privilege to do whatever he wanted to people courtesy of TSCC. EVIL CULT!
You can always come to the board. People here aren't the same as friends you can do things with, but a lot of them understand what you are going through, while your friends may not.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/24/2011 06:30AM by atheist&happy:-).